Category Archives: Other Junk

Random junk that doesn’t go anywhere else.

30 Movies and TV Shows that Should’ve Existed

1. HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE TOILET SCUM
2. DORA THE EXPLORER AND THE MAGIC CARVING KNIFE
3. INDIANA JONES AND THE CURSE OF THE MOLDY CHEESE
4. TUESDAY THE 31 DILLION FILLIONTH
5. TURNMYBLADDER III
6. SOMETHING ‘N SUCH
7. BARNEY GOES POSTAL
8. WAR GAMES (BILL GATES F**KED UP AGAIN)
9. GEORGE-BUSH-GOT-WHACKED
10. CADDY-HACKED-UP-A-LUGIE
11. I WAS A TEENAGE THINGAMABOB
12. GUYS-ON-DOPE: THE WESTERN, STARING JOHN COLEMAN AS WILD BILL-GOT-HIT-UP
13. THE WIZARD OF SCUD…MISSILES
14. SCHINDLER’S PISSED
15. M*A*S*H-YOUR-BRAINS
16. I-JUST-HAD-TEN-DIFFERENT STROKES
17. STARS-IN-MY-EYES SG-1
18. THE FLINTSTONED
19. DANDE’S FEET
20. POKEMON: THERE’S TOO MANY POKEMON MOVIES ALREADY GIVE IT A REST DAMMIT, WITH THE MINI-MOVIE “BOOT CAMP PIKACHU”
21. SPY-KIDS 4: ADVENTURE AT THE RETIREMENT HOME
22. MATRIX: GOT-LOADED
23. SPONGEBOB SLIGHTLY-OBLOGPANTS
24. SWING-ME-INTO-A-WALL KIDS
25. SAVED BY THE–WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?
26. TIMMY THE TOOTH GETS A ROOT CANAL
27. MARTHA STEWART: LIVING-IN-PRISON
28. MARRIED WITH A BITCH
29. INVASION OF THE POTTYSNATCHERS
30. REAR CRACKTOR

“That’s What She Said” (TWSS) List

This is a list of good and bad “That’s what She Said” lines that you can respond to by saying “That’s What She Said!” or the even more heinous “That’s What HE Said!” to sexualize/distort any statement you may hear in a conversation.

The same concept can be used for “…Sounds like a porno I saw”,  “…in bed!”, “Your mom/dad…”, and others, you just have to modify the statements to fit with the prefix/suffix phrases.

Leave a comment if you have a suggestion.

Good ones (they make sense):

“I need a bigger one” …that’s what she said!

“I can’t fit it in my mouth.” …that’s what she said!

“I want some In-N-Out.” …that’s what she said!

“I can’t hold it anymore.” …that’s what she said!

“You put one ball in”  …that’s what she said!

“That’s a lot of slides” …that’s what she said!  (“slides” like a power point presentation)

“I’m going to fill this up” …that’s what she said!

“It’s still warm back here” …that’s what she said!

“You just got them all right now” …that’s what she said!

“It came out the back” …that’s what she said!

“Where did all the balls go?”  ..that’s what she said!

“It is in one of three places”  …that’s what she said!

Bad ones (they don’t make sense):

(None yet.)

The Automatic Egg Thrower

Dear Mike,

I hope that you will appreciate my new invention.  It is an automatic egg thrower!  I assure you it will be of really good use.  You can use it for social groups that are bothering you or people who will not get off your lawn after you asked them nicely to go or get off.  Then you can load eggs in the egg thrower and shoot them till they run away!  You will laugh at their facial expression!  There is a brochure that comes with it so you know how to launch eggs with the egg thrower.  My egg thrower is going to both the Self-Defense convention and the Joker’s convention!  All the eggs that miss your targets will be good nourishment for your grass so you do not have to pick it up.  After you throw eggs at somebody they will negotiate with you and do as you set out to accomplish.  I insure you they will.

 

Your best friend,

davepoobond

 

PS Write back soon!!!!

Promptly Return the Anal Lube, Please

This is an Email Forward you can send to your friends.

Subject: Promptly return the anal lube, please.

Dear madam,

According to surveillance tapes recorded earlier this week, you shoplifted two bottles of Squeeky brand anal lubricant.

We have informed the authorities about the situation and charges will be pressed. Please return the unused lube in the package to the closest available TARGET store, for possible sentence reduction.

We do not appreciate people taking anal lube (or any merchandise) from our stores.

You are hereby banned from all TARGET stores. And we here at TARGET hope they give you the chair, you little bitch!

Suan Partridge, TARGET inc.

Top 10 Reasons Why Armenians Can’t Be Terrorists

1. 8:45 am (5:45am Glendale time) is too early for them to be up.

2. They are always late, they would have missed all four flights.

3. Pretty people on the plane distract them.

4. They would talk loudly & bring attention to themselves.

5. With food & drinks on the plane, they would forget why they’re there.

6. They talk with their hands, therefore they would have to put their weapons down.

7. They would ALL want to fly the plane.

8. They would argue & start a fight in the plane.

9. They can’t keep a secret, they would have told everyone a week before doing it.

10. They would have put their country’s flag on the plane.

Funny Search Terms

Sometimes people find Squackle with odd or funny search terms.  They’re so funny or weird sometimes, that I feel like I need to share it with the world.  Not saying that there isn’t a lot of weird shit on this site, but there are times where I just don’t expect certain search terms to actually lead to Squackle.  Also, I wouldn’t mind being the number one search for “what sound does a beaver make.”

Here’s a list of the exceedingly funny search terms as I see them, newest on top:

pictures of guyz fucking there girl friend

how to say huge ass in a fancy way

boy inserting finger in girls asshole sexy hd pics

girls from america sexy nice vagina sexy

grandma is raped with toothbrush

i want to be a cashier and i dont have experience so can google teach me some lessons

sexy ladies sex fuck hard

what is a good porn name for a girl named ann catherine

why the f*ck are asian women so attractive

fireworks of cum and semen

sexy little girl feet on balls

i want to download a beautiful and sexy lady age under 26 that has a lot of photos on facebook

thumbelina hentai

sexxxxy sendals zapanis young cute girl feets

how to draw dick using alphabets

sign me up by email for nasty gay black porn

knock knock jokes about livers

most fucking sexiest ever women wallpaper

pictures huge female holes and the long trailing tities

fat bitches having a motherfucking orgy

gay man sit on mens face and fartshit

does katy perry let guys cum inside her

sexy girl doing fuck in youtube

cute hot fat woman boob

asian girl full hd cute witn attitude

attaching condom of sexy chinese babes

blowjob games earn coins to cum

dave’s review rating on penius enhancers

backpack that looks like a little boy from the waist down

mom fucks barney the dinosaur

what is a good website for robot porn

girl fucking a guy while talking on the phone with her boyfriend

you dont need a boyfriend to have sex

pure uncut heroin

chumlee shemale having sex with a girls manga

neighbors hate us because i married a felon

i want to cum in katy perrys mouth

molested pinball

real free gay porn by email

Football players asses

white guy saying fucking rice to every mustang that passes by

child molesting manatee

teens using tampons with whiskey

tall girls are racist

girl pump fart

can you fuck a vacuum

masturbate bicycle

monkey pooping on a car window

chat with someone horny site

seeing tv reporters panties

what cream for ass

what sound does a beaver make

degrassi has muslims in the show

ass-hole kingdom

filthiest way of saying butthole

woman doing toilet with lion

why da fuck people always getting shot in degrassi

katy perry penis face

girl puts 4 tennis balls in her ass

college fuck festival

subway sandwich girl sucking cock

Easy Way to Learn the Alphabet

I know that people don’t usually know how to introduce the Alphabet to their young’un or some illiterate adult.  But look no further, as I’ve made a list of easy words to remember that go along with each letter!

A is for Amphetamine

B is for Bong

C is for Cocaine

D is for Death

E is for Ecstacy

F is for Flip Me Over (Because I’m Gonna Be Ridden On)

G is for Giligan’s Island

H is for Hashish

I is for Illegal Drugs

J is for Jerk-off

K is for Kill

L is for LSD

M is for Marijuana

N is for Narcotics

O is for Opium Overdose

P is for PCP

Q is for Queen Bitch

R is for Rectal Probes

S is for Snorting

T is for Tranquilizer

U is for Underwear

V is for Vagina

W is for Wanker

X is for XXX rated fortune cookies

Y is for You

Z is for Zipper

A “Liberbal” and Her Constituency / Fun Links Section

Hello whoever is reading this.  I got an idea for a section and its called Fun Links.  In Fun Links I will post a link to something and why I think its funny or worthwhile for posting.

This Fun Link comes from A.J. Bray who is a “liberbal” disability blogger, writer, and fashionphile in a wheelchair.  Recently she got some hate mail from someone trying to add her as a friend on Facebook, and so she decided to post her response to her admirer on her blog.

http://www.heelsnwheels.info/Funny-yet-Stupid-Hate-Mail-from-Bigot-17991536

Sometimes I’m glad that we have people who don’t know how to type.  They make up such wonderful words.