Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

#21895: janiekishiazg -> davepoobond

janiekishiazg: im soo bad … come spank me!

davepoobond: ok

janiekishiazg: hey πŸ™‚

davepoobond: hi

janiekishiazg: how are you , are you busy? ? πŸ™‚

davepoobond: hi

janiekishiazg: oohh ok well I saw ur online wanted to see if you wanted to chat in private right now ?? if your alone of course πŸ˜‰ … i am πŸ˜‰

davepoobond: hi

janiekishiazg: ok well πŸ˜‰Β  ..just go here babeΒ  (spam url here), just click on the accept the invite GREEN button … hurry my cam is on already …

davepoobond: is this reality

janiekishiazg: can you see ME??? … πŸ˜‰ very sexy huh …lol well this site is soo cool .. we can chat with other girls in a big chat room … its like a big

orgy lol plus its free with my friend pass PLEASE DONT GIVE IT OUT!lol

davepoobond: my name is poop

davepoobond: i just came out of an ass

janiekishiazg: mindy

davepoobond: who

janiekishiazg: k papi rico i cant hear you or see wut your wrighting till you sign in soo ill be waiting just fill out the info for your account and the cc is just for age verification ok… (spam url here) here it is just in case you didnt get it πŸ™‚

davepoobond: who are you

davepoobond: who is your daddy and what does he do

janiekishiazg: ok babe im ready, were are you?? you sign up ???im wet and waiting lol literly lol

davepoobond: yes i did

davepoobond: show me that pussy

janiekishiazg: K bye , ill be waiting …xoxo

davepoobond: what do you mean

davepoobond: are you leaving

janiekishiazg: punch my kitten πŸ˜‰

davepoobond: i thought you said you wanted to chat

janiekishiazg: k

#21886: TommyLinthurst -> davepoobond

On Last.fm, this guy TommyLinthurst, asked to be my friend so I said yes and he sends me the following messages:

TommyLinthurst:Β  Hey, thanks for becoming a friend!
this is NOT spam. I just seriously think you’ll be interested.
Please check out my band’s latest EP called “1991” to listen to some kickass Rock! If you really like it, then go to <url here> and download it absolutely for FREE!!
You see, I manage the band, and there’s no other way of promoting them, so sorry if it was annoying.
Spread the word & Thanks a lot! This music needs to be heard!
Tommy

davepoobond: i’m not entirely sure what your definition of “not spam” is but “unwanted advertisements via the internet” are considered spam.

TommyLinthurst: alright, whatever. you just missed a good band.

Fuck you Tommy.Β  Get off your lazy ass and promote at shows like a normal band does.

WoW Chat #21714: Cardrek -> davepoobond

In trade I was trying to sell stuff:

[2] [davepoobond]: WTS [Comfortable Insoles] only 10g each!

Cardrek: wat do they do

davepoobond: make you jellin like a felon

Cardrek: i woulda bought em if u didnt attempt that pathetic ryme

davepoobond: its from a commercial

Cardrek: its gross

davepoobond: wat

WoW Chat #21628: davepoobond -> Xonthebeach

Xonthebeach was spamming in trade to whisper “Zathwiker” for free gold.

davepoobond: can i have gold

davepoobond: can i have gold

Xonthebeach: pst zathwiker

davepoobond: who is that

Xonthebeach: hes giving gold

davepoobond: cant you just give me gold

Xonthebeach: no

Xonthebeach: wish i could tho man πŸ™

davepoobond: why not

Xonthebeach: gotta support the family

Xonthebeach: hard times.

davepoobond: how do you get a family

Xonthebeach: well

Xonthebeach: are u sitting down?

Xonthebeach: its a long story

davepoobond: ok i have all day

Xonthebeach: k

Xonthebeach: well, it started back in 1096

Xonthebeach: 1986*

Xonthebeach: i was born

Xonthebeach: i was conceived by Chilo

davepoobond: is that before or after Tom and Huck?

Xonthebeach: he’s in your guild

Xonthebeach: probably after

Xonthebeach: Chilo should know

Xonthebeach: hes my biological father

davepoobond: go on

Xonthebeach: anyways

Xonthebeach: Chilo was a great father

Xonthebeach: but then i grew up

davepoobond: like jesus?

Xonthebeach: and met a female

Xonthebeach: better than Jesus

davepoobond: female jesus?

Xonthebeach: we fell in love, and startd a family

Xonthebeach: i was a blue collar worker

davepoobond: with jesus?

Xonthebeach: then the recession hit

davepoobond: is that before or after postmodernism?

Xonthebeach: after

Xonthebeach: this is during the time of the hipsters

Xonthebeach: anyways

Xonthebeach: recession hit, and raid boss werent getting killed, so my funds went low “(

Xonthebeach: so theres my shitty story.

davepoobond: but can i have gold?

Xonthebeach: im sorry, i cant spare a copper

Xonthebeach: see im also a Jew/

davepoobond: why

Xonthebeach: i have the nose

davepoobond: you know what they say right

davepoobond: the nose knows

Xonthebeach: lul

Xonthebeach: haha that shit made me laugh

Xonthebeach: can we be friends?

davepoobond: sure

Xonthebeach: im also drunk atm

Xonthebeach: tell chilo i said hi πŸ™‚

Xonthebeach: he was my old GM

Xonthebeach: on our old server

davepoobond: will do

WoW Chat #21627: Zarghon -> davepoobond

Zarghon: can i hav 100g for mount plz

Zarghon: its my bday!!

davepoobond: plz bro i need 5g

davepoobond: i need to get epic flying, plz bro

Zarghon: haah verry funny

davepoobond: come onnnnnnn man

Zarghon: ur lying

davepoobond: plz bro plz

davepoobond: i need 5g man

Zarghon: watvr ill plzy ur game

He trades me 5 gold.

davepoobond: thx man

Zarghon: ya ya very funny

WoW Chat #21623: Alorgantari -> davepoobond

I was selling shitty, incomplete, gray sets with no stats on them in trade chat.

Alorgantari: got any leather?

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: [Frozen Leather Helmet] [Frozen Shoulderpads]

davepoobond: [Frozen Armor] [Frozen Bracers]

davepoobond: [Frozen Belt] [Frozen Pants]

davepoobond: [Frozen Boots]

davepoobond: missing 1 piece, so its 50g

Alorgantari: looks lame lol

davepoobond: thats the point πŸ˜‰

davepoobond: thats the point πŸ˜‰

Alorgantari: 5g

Alorgantari: deal or no deal

davepoobond: no deal, sorry id rather vendor lol

Alorgantari: lol

davepoobond: tryin to trick a trickster

davepoobond: will get you nowhere fast

Alorgantari: lol

Alorgantari: im the trickest

Alorgantari: u got nothin on my beerz

davepoobond: sorry but your terrible grammar and spelling eludes me from understanding your point

WoW Chat #21622: Aggo -> davepoobond

Aggo: The game, you’re always playing it, you can never stop, you’re winning as long as you dont think about it, but when you think about it you lose

Aggo: The game, you’re always playing it, you can never stop, you’re winning as long as you dont think about it, but when you think about it you lose

Aggo: The game, you’re always playing it, you can never stop, you’re winning as long as you dont think about it, but when you think about it you lose

davepoobond: who are you

Aggo: I’m Kenny Rogers

davepoobond: why are you on my computer

Aggo: because i love you

davepoobond: i am sorry but i do not illicit emotion

davepoobond: please retry input

Aggo: I’m Kenny Rogers

davepoobond: Hello, Kenny Rogers. I am Fron.

davepoobond: Awaiting user input…

davepoobond: Please type /help if you need help.

Aggo: Error Message 535: Windows has shut down to prevent further damage to your computer.

davepoobond: I do not recognize that error, I am sorry.

davepoobond: Please type /help if you need help.

Facebook Message #21483: davepoobond -> Abegail

davepoobond gets a friend request from some random person named Abegail.Β  davepoobond sends a message to this person to figure out if he knows her (which he knows he doesn’t.)

davepoobond: do i know you?

Abegail: im sorry about ur ask im not do

And, not surprisingly, their profile was deleted since it was probably a spammer.

Apple Live Chat #21331

β€’ You are chatting with David J, an Apple Expert

David J: Hi, my name is David J. Welcome to Apple!

David J: Good evening!

davepoobond: Hello

David J: How may I assist you?

David J: Hello!

davepoobond: I was just clicking around and saw the Live Chat thing, but I think i may have already solved my own problem cause i opened an expresslane thing

davepoobond: my mouse’s mouse ball stopped working

davepoobond: and this is the second mouse im on, i have applecare and all

David J: I’m sorry to hear that.

David J: Did you rub the mouse button over a cleaning cloth? Sometimes that will clear it up.

davepoobond: i did, and in doing so the mouse ball seemed to start getting damaged

davepoobond: i see some stripping on the mouse ball

David J: It would still be covered under the Applecare plan if it is defective.

David J: You can continue on the express lane and contact AppleCare or call them tomorrow at 1800-275-2273

David J: 9-9 EST daily.

davepoobond: and i tried it after i cleaned it and the clicks dont seem to work either.

davepoobond: thank you, i’ll definitely call them tomorrow

David J: Is there anything else I can help you with?

davepoobond: do you have tips on how i can avoid this again with my next mouse, though?

David J: What operating system are you using?

davepoobond: mac

davepoobond: os x

David J: Tiger? Leopard? Snow Leopard?

davepoobond: Snow Leopard

David J: How much ram is your computer using?

davepoobond: 1 gig

David J: Here’s an interesting thing that happened with my mouse.

David J: I had the same problem with the trackball not working often. But when I upgraded to more ram in my computer, it works perfectly fine.

davepoobond: ah interesting

David J: Do you know if you can upgrade your ram?

davepoobond: yeah the apple book told me i could

David J: Go ahead and give AppleCare a call and see what they recommend. Then ask them about upgrading the ram to see if that can help.

davepoobond: will do. sounds like an awesome idea

David J: 1800-275-2273

David J: 9-9 EST daily.

David J: Is there anything else I can help you with?

davepoobond: yeah, just so that i know you’re not completely nuts, please just tell me you were joking about the ram thing

David J: Actually, no it worked!

David J: I upgraded from 2gb of ram to 8gb and my mouse no longer has trouble scrolling.

David J: Maybe it was just coincidental, but I haven’t had an issue with it at all!

davepoobond: i dont believe in coincidence. i belive in fate.

David J: Do you have an Apple store near you?

davepoobond: yeah

David J: You can take the mouse by the store and test it out and see if it works with more ram!

David J: If not, then let the store take a look at it and see if it is defective and in need of being replaced.

David J: They can also show you how to clean it properly.

davepoobond: awesome, sounds like a plan.

David J: Is there anything else I can help you with?

davepoobond: No, thank you, i appreciate your help.

David J: Thank you for visiting the Apple Store. We appreciate your business. If you would like more help, please chat with us again.

#21268: dys4iK -> sweet_thang_for_u_2002

While reading this, keep in mind that dys4iK is not Josh. Whoever he was, he’s fucked now. “dys4iK is NOT Josh, never was, and never will be.”

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: hey hey hey

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: sup josh

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: hey did u ever call tracy?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: our grad. practice is thur right?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: hey u there?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh???

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u called tracy right

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y u ignoring me???????

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m ur girlfriend!!!!!!!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: talk to me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: look

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont know what ur deal has been lately

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i mean come on josh

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we were prom queen adn king and this is how u act!!!!!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: fine whatever

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ignore me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: fine

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: see if i care

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok what the fuck!!!!!!!!!

dys4iK: bot.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: r u gonna talk to me or not

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: bot???

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: huh?

dys4iK: I have no clue who the hell you are,

dys4iK: but this sure is interesting,.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh!!!

dys4iK: you’re josh?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is wrong with u

dys4iK: I thought I was supposed to be josh.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: r u drunk

dys4iK: I think you should go find the right Josh.

dys4iK: I wish I was drunk…

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i know its u

dys4iK: haha.

dys4iK: ok.

dys4iK: how’d you find me?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u r goin to grad. tomorrow right

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur on my list

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: duh!!!!!!!!!!

dys4iK: I’m not going anywhere tommorow night.

dys4iK: I spend my days sitting at my computer,

dys4iK: jerking off to weird porn.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y r u adcting like this

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsoh what is wrong with u??

dys4iK: ’cause i’m in hard drugs.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u told me u never did drugs

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u said u quit

dys4iK: I lied.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so u were lying?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what??????????

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg

dys4iK: in fact,

dys4iK: I could be on drugs,

dys4iK: _right now)_

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: !!!!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y do u always pull this shit

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur goin off to osu next year

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and ur doin drugs

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal

dys4iK: yep.

dys4iK: drugs and college.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg

dys4iK: hoo-rah.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive that

dys4iK: yep

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: did u ever call tracy

dys4iK: I’ve gotta go fuck my sister now.

dys4iK: back in a bit.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and explaoin to her ur stayin with me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what!!!!!!!!!!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur sister is only 8

dys4iK: oh, hey, right.

dys4iK: ok.

dys4iK: my cousin, then.

dys4iK: how old are my cousins?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh u know how old ur cousins are

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: dont be stupid

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: r u high?

dys4iK: I can’ help it,

dys4iK: it’s the drugs.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what is ur deal josh

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: god

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok

dys4iK: my deal?

dys4iK: ten bucks an hour.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we can get through this

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsut call me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: did u call tracy

dys4iK: who’s tracy?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: tracy randlof

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: remember

dys4iK: sure.

dys4iK: she was a nice lay.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u were gonna tell her u wer datin me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what!!!!!!!!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u slept with here

dys4iK: of course.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u told me u didnt

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: (

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh i’m crying b/c of u

dys4iK: her and some other girl.

dys4iK: it was fun!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: JOSH

dys4iK: and some guy.

dys4iK: I think.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: WHAT IS WROGN WITH U

dys4iK: I can’t really remember.

dys4iK: the world was funny colours at the time.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: OH SO NOW UR GAY

dys4iK: no, not gay.

dys4iK: not yet.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: WHEN DID ALL THIS HAPPEN

dys4iK: but if you keep this up, maybe.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: DONT EVEN SAY PROM NIGHT

dys4iK: it happened tommorow!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: TOMORROW???

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what?

dys4iK: yeah.

dys4iK: tommorow.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmmm

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh

dys4iK: yeah?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m gonna come over ok

dys4iK: over to canada?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: canada??

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what are u talkin about

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u dont seem to good

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: im comin over

dys4iK: I already told you I’m not josh.

dys4iK: but you seem to believe I am,

dys4iK: so I’m playing the part.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever

dys4iK: but, I can’t play it in person.

dys4iK: sorry.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m gonna break up with u

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we are over

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: 9 months of nothing

dys4iK: yep.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i know its u cuz of the name

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m not stupid

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: god

dys4iK: yeah.

dys4iK: such a stupid name.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: well i’m on my way over

dys4iK: ok.

dys4iK: see you in a few days.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we can have break up sex

dys4iK: hoo-rah.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: tehn i’m leaving

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: for good

dys4iK: yay.

dys4iK: you promise to never phone?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive u slept with tracy

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur supposed to be mad

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and begging me to stay

dys4iK: why would I be mad?

dys4iK: oh, sorry.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: b/c i’m leaving u

dys4iK: please don’t leave me!

dys4iK: please stay!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ugh

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever

dys4iK: wahhhh!

dys4iK: *cries*

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: uknow what

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: forget

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: it

dys4iK: ok!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m not comin over

dys4iK: gladly!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: screw u

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: dont talk to me ever again

dys4iK: you don’t want to get into the threesome?

dys4iK: hey, speaking of which,

dys4iK: I should get back to sex.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ugh

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: who is there

dys4iK: tracy.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ………….

dys4iK: ……………..!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: (

dys4iK: come on.

dys4iK: you enjoyed it too.

dys4iK: I know about you two.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what!!!!!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmmm

dys4iK: when you got drunk?

dys4iK: at some party.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont know what ur talkin about

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ……………..

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: well

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: that was a long time ago

dys4iK: there you go.

dys4iK: see?

dys4iK: it was fun.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i was drunk josh

dys4iK: deal with it.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so what if it was

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: that was a ont time thing

dys4iK: I can’t fix all your female, hyper-inflated ego disorders.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what has gotten itno u

dys4iK: I told you!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dys4iK: drugs.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: (

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m tellin ur parents

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u need help

dys4iK: when I figure out who you are…

dys4iK: haha.

dys4iK: ok.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: who I am!!!!

dys4iK: except, my mom is shooting up in the bathroom,

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wat do u mean by that

dys4iK: and dad is drunk with some other woman.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummm, she is at my house

dys4iK: she is?

dys4iK: since when?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and ur dad and my dad are out of town on a business trip

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so what are u talkin about

dys4iK: hey, whoa.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: she has been here all da

dys4iK: our dads are fucking?

dys4iK: when did that start?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever

dys4iK: that’s pretty crazy.

dys4iK: think they’d let us join in?

dys4iK: with tracy, too?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ???????????

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u sick bastard

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: god

dys4iK: haha.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u r soooooooooooooo immature

dys4iK: I’m immature?

dys4iK: yes, I suppose I am.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i cant beleive i wasted 9 months with u

dys4iK: neither can I.

dys4iK: you fell for me like a brick in water.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dys4iK: that was funny.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: X-(

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no u fell for me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u begged me to get with u

dys4iK: haha.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i turned u down 3 times

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: remember

dys4iK: yeah. tracy told me to keep asking, though.

dys4iK: she thought if I got you to go out with me,

dys4iK: we could have a threesome.

dys4iK: or something.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lol

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u wisj

dys4iK: pretty clever, eh?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u know now that i think about it

dys4iK: wasn’t my idea.

dys4iK: she was the one who wanted you.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i only liked u b/c of ur car

dys4iK: I have a car?

dys4iK: cool!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmm yeah

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur spider eclipse

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: thas y i dated u

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: not cuz of the looks

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: although u do look godd

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: good

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur nothin w/o me

dys4iK: hey, yeah?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and u know it

dys4iK: what are you, then?

dys4iK: cheesecake!

dys4iK: haha!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: huh?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: cheescake?

dys4iK: yeah.

dys4iK: you’re a cheesecake.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: how?

dys4iK: now that everyone’s seen pictures of you naked.

dys4iK: heh heh.

dys4iK: but hey, you made some lonely geeks happy for a night.,

dys4iK: =)

dys4iK: it was kind of you.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: keep what going

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: our relationship

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: yeah right

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: dream on

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we’re over

dys4iK: hey, you’re back.

dys4iK: hi again!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: y r u makin a joke out of this???????

dys4iK: because i have no idea who you are!

dys4iK: but this sure is fun.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: prove it to me that ur not josh

dys4iK: how about you prove that I _am_ josh!

dys4iK: =)

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what was our prom theme

dys4iK: uh.

dys4iK: underwater?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: omg

dys4iK: or that may have been the drugs. =D

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i told u ur josh

dys4iK: oh, right.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what do i look like

dys4iK: yeah.

dys4iK: uh.

dys4iK: fat, ugly.

dys4iK: lot of acne down your back.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummm wrong

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wrong

dys4iK: blue hair.

dys4iK: purple eyes!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ????

dys4iK: you have this weird bump on your back,

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: am i a cheerelader

dys4iK: but noone will tell you.

dys4iK: a cheerleader? hey, cool.

dys4iK: i dated a cheerleader!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i know

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: cuz u dated me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dys4iK: duhh!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lol

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: there’s teh old josh

dys4iK: whatever!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: aw

dys4iK: you’re so funny.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i knew it was u baby

dys4iK: whatever! duhhhh!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwww

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh lets not break up

dys4iK: you’re pretty thick, aren’t you?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lol

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh u r the best i’ve ever had if u know what i eman

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont wanna loose u

dys4iK: you should smoke some crack with me tonight.

dys4iK: come over right now.

dys4iK: let’s smoke some crack.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: the way u touch me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont want to loose u

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: lets not break up

dys4iK: yeah. your skin is sort of clammy, though.

dys4iK: what, with being a vampire, and all.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ??????????

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m not clammhy

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i use pure silk lotion from batha and body

dys4iK: Sammy the Clam!

dys4iK: pure silk lotion?

dys4iK: doesn’t silk come out of the ass of worms?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ???????????????

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont know

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: jsoh

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i want u so bad right now

dys4iK: so finger yourself, or something.

dys4iK: I’m not sticking myself back in there.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i alreadly am

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wahtever

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u know u want this

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’ll wear my cheerleading outfit for you

dys4iK: ew.

dys4iK: I hate cheerleaders.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no u dont silly

dys4iK: will you wear a strapon?

dys4iK: and fuck me in the ass?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: the way i can straddle u

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u luv it

dys4iK: hey, will you let my dog fuck you?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummmmmmmm

dys4iK: do it!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: when did u get a dog

dys4iK: you can smoke crack first.

dys4iK: I’ll get a dog!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no

dys4iK: so it can fuck you.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: NO

dys4iK: and I’ll videotape it.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i wanna video tape u and me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i want u

dys4iK: I want me, too.

dys4iK: but I’m with tracy now!

dys4iK: sorry!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u mean u want me

dys4iK: I’m madly in love with you.

dys4iK: the drugs are fucking with my head.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwwwwwwww

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh

dys4iK: I don’t know what i’m doing anymore.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i love you too

dys4iK: marry me?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwww

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: its ok baby

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u want to marry me

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh

dys4iK: I was lying about tracy!

dys4iK: I just wanted to make you feel jealous!

dys4iK: seriously!~

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: we just grad

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwwww

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: really

dys4iK: no.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: awwwwww

dys4iK: i was lying again.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ?????

dys4iK: ’cause it’s funny to watch you awwwww at me.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh

dys4iK: yeah?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: do u really luv me

dys4iK: I need more drugs.

dys4iK: I love drugs.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no jsoh no

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: u luv me

dys4iK: I love drugs!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: no josh

dys4iK: I need a dimebag of hash to go with this.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: quit sayin that

dys4iK: and I’m running low on needles.

dys4iK: gotta start reusing needles.

dys4iK: damnit!

dys4iK: fucking hell.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh

dys4iK: oh well.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: stop

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: quit

dys4iK: I’ll microwave them.

dys4iK: stop what?

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ur actin weird

dys4iK: I’m jonesing.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: huh

dys4iK: I gotta go fix myself up.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: what does that mean

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh

dys4iK: coming down.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i got my nipples pierced today

dys4iK: hey, me too!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: really!!!!!!!!!

dys4iK: no.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i did i t jes for u

dys4iK: why? you’re supposed to hate me, bitch.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so u can play with them

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i dont hate u

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i luve u

dys4iK: you keep telling me you do!

dys4iK: stop the lying!

dys4iK: oh god, I can’t take it anymore!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: well i an forgive u

dys4iK: fucking hell!

dys4iK: I should just oD.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: nooooooooo

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: josh wait

dys4iK: it’d be fun.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m coming over right now

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok

dys4iK: go for it.

dys4iK: you know where I live.

dys4iK: (I don’t.)

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok i’ll be over in 20 min

dys4iK: ok!

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ok baby

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i

dys4iK: I’ll be waiting.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m coming

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i love u

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ……………

dys4iK: …………………….

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: say it to me josh

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: please

dys4iK: I’ll go get the strapon.

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: i’m on my way over now

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: bye babe

sweet_thang_for_u_2002: c u soon

dys4iK: bye!

Session Close (sweet_thang_for_u_2002): Thu May 30 19:17:53 2002

#21238: Matt Sussman -> Matt Cary

Matt Sussman and Matt Cary talking about the Randall Simon incident…

Matt Sussman: but I’ll be frank

Matt Sussman: the person inside the costume should relish this moment

Matt Sussman: because what Randall Simon did just doesn’t cut the mustard

Matt Sussman: and after she fell down… no way could she ketchup

Matt Cary: Oh my gosh, stop youre killing me

Matt Cary: thats so many in a row

Matt Sussman: I think that last joke was the wurst one

Matt Cary: Yeah, that last frank joke wasnt worth a hill of beans.

Matt Sussman: yeah, it made me chili

Matt Sussman: at least I had the onions to keep going

Matt Cary: Yeah, I think now youre just trying to be a hot dog.

Matt Sussman: Thanks. You just brat that to my attention.

Matt Cary: Didnt want you to make yourself look like a weenie.

Matt Sussman: wow. the list of puns we went through is about a foot long

Matt Cary: Baloney.

Matt Sussman: Don’t have a cow.