Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

#8897: Luxxy23 -> John170

I found this.

Luxxy23: hello

Luxxy23: i was just viewing your stupid ims page…incredibly witty i must say

Luxxy23: incredible

Luxxy23: even the phrase “stupid ims”…where did you ever come up with that one?

Luxxy23: youre like some sort of wordsmith

Luxxy23: anyway, i was disappointed that of all of my ‘stupid ims’ ive ever had, that one was chosen for a website

Auto response from John170: Sorry

Luxxy23:, I’m not interested in speaking right now. 🙂

Luxxy23: thats ok.. ill do the talking

Luxxy23: nice aviator glasses, by the way

Luxxy23: very fashionable

Luxxy23: you look like a homosexual from the 80’s

Luxxy23: anywho.. im not reporting you to aol, so dont get your panties in a bunch, nancy. goodbye

#8892: XoX Sharyn XoX -> John170

I found this.

XoX Sharyn XoX: excuse me but ur amoron,,,,,,,, TALKIN shit is childish

John170: I pity you if you believe this is real 🙂

XoX Sharyn XoX: pity? well hope not…. otherwise your sence of humor needs works

John170: I’ll let you know when I reallycare what you have to say hon.

XoX Sharyn XoX: don’t know youEXCUSE trust me << got nada to say too you

John170: Take a reality pill and get offline

#8891: Sax5thAve101 -> John170

I found this.

Sax5thAve101: your not a good person why are you here?

Sax5thAve101: perhaps find your subjects in another room

Sax5thAve101: <read your page

John170: So you’re a good person? 🙂

Sax5thAve101: my attraction towards your name was only to say what I did

Sax5thAve101: you may look eleswhere

John170: You’re a flippin’ idiot

John170: You OWN a room? Good golly. You need to take your meds hon.

Sax5thAve101: your rudeness will not bother me

John170: You’re the one who started with the rudeness, you’re funny 🙂

Sax5thAve101: have a nice evening.. I did not you happen to hurt someone
I know with your humor

John170: Oh get a life

Sax5thAve101: said try eleswhere

John170:HA

Sax5thAve101: your gone tyvm your cooperation is grateful

John170: Live and let live I always say. Tell your fat friend I’m sorry to
offend 🙂

Sax5thAve101: my dear shes right here tell here yourself

Sax5thAve101: perhaps not I apologize

John170: LOL, ok

Sax5thAve101: no need for you to cause her more harm

John170: Yes, tell her to stay inside for it’s a cruel world. Hand her a
tissue for me too, thanks!

Sax5thAve101: enjoy your life such as it is

John170: You bet, will do. You too!

Sax5thAve101: thank you

#8890: PhDGrrl -> John170

PhDGrrl: Your site, in terms of pure variety and inclusion of the ims from drunk “gangsta” chicks, is altogether an admirable place to be on a Saturday night. However, you made a spelling error of the type that is especially embarassing, especially when the predominance of the site is spent berating others for similar errors. I will let you know once I get over the shock… A bientot….

John170: huh?

#8889: Ly2000 -> John170

I found this.

L*****y2000: hi there awfully quiet

John170: Yes, well, I’m meditating and practicing yoga. Hello, hi.

L*****y2000: hey youeven left the room sorry did i disturb you ?

John170: No, not at all, I’m fine. How are you?

L*****y2000: okay thank you, where are you located if i may ask ??? i am in southbridge i am 33 years old

John170: I am in Framingham here.

John170: Framingham by the Sea

L*****y2000: is your kitty mle or female

L*****y2000: it is a cutie lol

John170: Twit’s a boy kitty

L*****y2000: thats too cute

John170: He RULES. He says hello by the way.

L*****y2000: my kitty is black and her name nunnie

L*****y2000: she is the bitch of the house lol wacko cat lol

John170: Sweeet! How old is Nunnie?

L*****y2000: 8 months

John170: That’s a cute age, meow

L*****y2000: lol you are precious lol

John170: Oh sssssssssstop!

L*****y2000: i am serious a man that adores cats is my type of sweetheart

John170: I grew up always having a cat. I love those little guys.

L*****y2000: me tooo how old if i may ask ??

L*****y2000: 38 ?

John170: I am 31

L*****y2000: sorry lol 31

John170: Yes

John170: Yessssssss!

L*****y2000: the facial hair makes you older lookin

L*****y2000: do you go out offen ?

John170: That was one of those long weekends

L*****y2000: understandable lol

John170: Long weekends without shaving that is.

L*****y2000: i need a long weekend two days together wold be perfect lol

John170: Sounds like you work in either the food or retail business

L*****y2000: bingo fast food bk

John170: That’s a tough racket

L*****y2000: love the atmoosphere the huslle the busel, wicked people person love to talk am to friendly at times lol

John170: I was in the supermarket business for years. I was NO people person. 🙂

L*****y2000: lol have to have a few screws loose to do this type of work lol

L*****y2000: meet alot of intresting people though lol

John170: You got to man, in order to survive.

L*****y2000: it a all man world where i am it is tough but it fight back to keep my opion known lol

John170: It’s not an all man world. My dad married a woman.

L*****y2000: in the company i work for its a mans world i mean silly

John170: Well, maybe you can start a Burger Queen

L*****y2000: lol no thanks rather masterbate in public lol

John170: Yes, well, that could have been an option I suppose.

L*****y2000: lol

L*****y2000: so why ar youi tonight /// no dtes mn gf ????

John170: I’m not allowed near women, part of the conditions of my parole

L*****y2000: excuse me ?

John170: You burped?

L*****y2000: perole never stopped anyone from going out lol

John170: I know, but this goofy electronic ankle bracelet thing is a real drag.

L*****y2000: you crack me up

John170: Oh I do not

L*****y2000: you do silly shit you are

John170: You flatterer you

L*****y2000:: so john how long are you atteched for ?

John170: My sentence goes on for another few years man!

L*****y2000: are we talking straght shit here ??

John170: No, but man, imagine if it was?

L*****y2000: shall i say this to you ……. shithead fuck off, that wasnt nice of me sorry 🙂

John170: I’d have to say “fries are up” and give you two middle fingers.

#8888: John170 -> XLGPx02134

I found this.

My first time on an Apple computer! Today was sort of a lame day at work. Things are pretty much slow right now, almost no calls in the queue, so I decided to think differently and start learning Apple. I installed AOL on this old PowerPC crap box at work when XLGPx02134 decides to chime in. I lost the first few lines unfortunately, because I SUCK at Apple. Somehow I killed the IM, have NO idea what I clicked. The whole operating system makes NO sense whatsoever. Why only one button on the mouse? WTF is “Appletalk?” I’ve been managing networks now for about 5 years, and think the “Chooser” and Appletalk Zones are the most inefficient method of network organization. WOW! OSX has SMB!!! HOLY COW!!

Shit, sorry, I digress. He’s the shithead’s IM.

John170: I’m working right now, but I do enjoy being your focus

XLGPx02134: Say when.

John170: When!

John170: Now what?

XLGPx02134: You wanna kick my a$$, then do it.

John170: I said KISS. I’m into that today.

John170: Is it clean shaven?

XLGPx02134: You are immature .

XLGPx02134: P.S. She called you that first.

XLGPx02134: hOLD

John170: I feel so offended 🙂

XLGPx02134: Offer to go visit her at work.

XLGPx02134: You talk pretending to be me again and i WILL find you.

John170: I put your quote in my profile, I liked it

XLGPx02134: That’s expected.

XLGPx02134: You are either a girl or 18

John170: Oh you did NOT expect that

John170: Come on you sillyhead

XLGPx02134: Fess it up. WHICH chick are you?

John170: I’m yours!

XLGPx02134: Another one who says they are at work but sit here round the tick tock.

XLGPx02134: Live off your girlfriend?

XLGPx02134: Wait. She’s not employed either.

XLGPx02134: Med Leave this month.

John170: No, honest, I’m at work.

John170: I got a phone, a pen, a stapler, and a few puters here.

XLGPx02134: Offer to bring her lunch at work. They never heard of her.

XLGPx02134: Copy boy?

XLGPx02134: You are a PUP, bro.

XLGPx02134: PUP

John170: as in a little doggy?

XLGPx02134: You not embarrassed to talk with all that #$%^ website?

XLGPx02134: Desperado poster child

John170: Not at all, I’m happy with my dysfunctional personality.

XLGPx02134: Shell says this will go on your page. Im flattered dude. Im going to real work now.

XLGPx02134: anything needs to be said, say it to ME tough boy.

John170: I’m still wondering who Shell is. She must be someone very special.

XLGPx02134: I’ll find out which one you are.

XLGPx02134: Thought Linda, but I admit an error

XLGPx02134: Man here.

John170: It takes a man to admit his errors. Bravo!

XLGPx02134: I think your Mommy put Oreos in your lunchbox.

John170: Can we talk again? I like you.

XLGPx02134: Count on it.

XLGPx02134: You are infamous bro.

XLGPx02134: I bet you have a nice figure too like all the fat chicks.

John170: My coworkers are laughing at this. Can I print it out to show others?

XLGPx02134: Good luck finding a nice ‘woman’ here.

XLGPx02134: Coworkers? Nintendo buddies?

XLGPx02134: Seniors out of school already?

John170: They still make Nintendo?? I had one in college. Wow

John170: I had an Atari too

XLGPx02134: Your buddies need to come in and feel manly by harrassing women, too?

John170: The ones online or the ones in jail. Please specify.

XLGPx02134: I use the term ‘manly’ in i’s lightest form..

XLGPx02134: Jail wouldn’t surprise me.

John170: I’m sure you’re well adept at determining masculinity 🙂

XLGPx02134: Let’s meet and see what you say to face.

XLGPx02134: I don’t throw punches unless I need to.

John170: You’re gonna AOLbeatme?

XLGPx02134: Don’t be afraid, my MAN.

XLGPx02134: The more you say, the more you sound like a chick.

XLGPx02134: I bet you sit on a pillow at work.

John170: It’s a comfy chair. Gotta keep my bum bum soft.

XLGPx02134: Keep playing me. Im feeding off of this.

John170: Same here!

John170: As stated earlier, I like you

XLGPx02134: You are ‘immature, but fun’. She was honest there.

XLGPx02134: I know you are a chick.

John170: But thank GOD she has you now.

XLGPx02134: I will say 98% sure.

XLGPx02134: She had me, bro.

John170: How come you call me a chick, and then call me bro shortly after? Just curious.

XLGPx02134: A few of us.

XLGPx02134: Which do you prefer?

John170: Non gender specific. Call me “it”

XLGPx02134: If you are a MAN, I got some advice for you.

John170: I’m ready!

XLGPx02134: I’m man enough to help out the peons here.

XLGPx02134: When you fall for that AOL chick, or possibly ‘man’ in your capacity, hold tight.

XLGPx02134: You’ll need all the help you can get.

John170: And that’s your job, to help!

XLGPx02134: I have a heart for less fortunate

John170: Do you give to charity?

XLGPx02134: Is that your real name?

XLGPx02134: Maybe its Donna.

John170: Could be Sam too.

John170: Or … Pat

XLGPx02134: Go clean your locker.

John170: Can I leave my Erik Estrada pictures in it?

XLGPx02134: Now your making sense.

XLGPx02134: I will let you get back to your nails and hair now.

XLGPx02134: John.

John170: Sorry, busy for a sec. Anything else?

XLGPx02134: Oh yeh. Working.

XLGPx02134: Checks come in this time of the month. Opening an envelope isnt work.

XLGPx02134: Ciao, MANfriend.

John170: Can we talk later??? Please?

John170: I got to get lunch in a bit.

XLGPx02134: Bitter b$tch.

John170: Better or bitter? Pardon?

XLGPx02134: Your maturity shows me that you need the last word.

John170: What time do you have to work today? Can I schedule our next chat?

XLGPx02134: I go in at 3.

John170: Janitor?

John170: A fine profession

XLGPx02134: Keep dreaming and maybe you will be one someday.

John170: I practice cleaning my own urine and feces off the toilet every day.

XLGPx02134: My phone is ringing. You might want to stick around.

John170: Ok, I may be one when you get off of work. Hopefully we can chat then. If not, I’ll sign on again during the day. That ok?

XLGPx02134: Like I said. Time and place.

XLGPx02134: SAy it all to my face

XLGPx02134: We go from there.

John170: Ok. I’ll start practicing my man-kissing then. I cannot wait! You dress like the indian, I’ll be construction guy. Take care 🙂

XLGPx02134: Grow up kid. Or stand by the chicks.

John170: last word byeeeee 🙂 Lunch time

#8887: Foxyla7716 -> John170

I found this.

What did I doooo?  I was just sitting here with my away message on, which says   “My new friend %N is reading my profile!   %N loves me!  (The ‘%n’ substitutes the message with the viewer’s name)   Suddenly, I get attacked.  Here’s how it went …

Foxyla7716:    u wish
John170:    I sooo do
Foxyla7716:    ha
Foxyla7716:    bye

**Here is when I looked at her webpage…  http://hometown.aol.com/foxyla7716/    It’s viewing pretty much determined the course of the rest of the conversation …

John170:    Note: Oil of Olay, works wonders 🙂
Foxyla7716:    comment,,,,go get some and use it
John170:    I don’t have a shrunken apple head 🙂
Foxyla7716:    your so full of it
Foxyla7716:    like i said,,,,you wish !
Foxyla7716:    bye by
John170:    No, really, it’s ok.
John170:    Bye grammy, write soon

#8885: fROY132 -> davepoobond

fROY132: POOOH BALL!

fROY132: holy fuck

davepoobond: waaaaaaaa

fROY132: just kidding

fROY132: lets make love

davepoobond: alright!

davepoobond: love love love

fROY132: love love love

fROY132 love is all you need

fROY132: look i have a penis

fROY132: you’ve got a vagina

fROY132: we’re the perfect pair

fROY132: PERFECT PAIR

davepoobond: love is your air, love is your foodddd, love is your shelterrrr

fROY132: what u talking bout willis?

davepoobond: whatchoo talkin bout willis

davepoobond: you have to have the whatchoo part in it

fROY132: GIVE ME LOVEOVELOVE LOVE CRazy love L

fROY132 signed off at 5:54:39 PM.

#8881: davepoobond -> ManEatingCarrots

davepoobond: hey

ManEatingCarrots: Hiya.

davepoobond: whats up

ManEatingCarrots: Yelling at my boyfriend.

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: what’d he do

ManEatingCarrots: Made his ex girlfriend grab his dick..

ManEatingCarrots: My best friend..not to mention.

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: was she his girlfriend when she did it

ManEatingCarrots: NO I WAS!

davepoobond: …you were your brother’s girlfriend?

davepoobond: ohhh you said boyfriend

davepoobond: heh…..heh……..heh…………………….yeap

ManEatingCarrots: Riiiiight

davepoobond: you should dump him and go for the guy that wears tight ass red
jeans

davepoobond: unless he IS the guy that wears tight ass red jeans

ManEatingCarrots: Who wears tight ass red jeans?

davepoobond: there’s this one guy at my school………………he’s pretty
much classified as gay though

davepoobond: his parents dress him

ManEatingCarrots: WTF?!?

ManEatingCarrots: You want me to go out with a fag?

ManEatingCarrots: Oh well… too late.

davepoobond: well fags dont try to pick up on other chicks

davepoobond: just………guys………..

davepoobond: mmh…………….i dont know, whatever

ManEatingCarrots: ::shrugs::

ManEatingCarrots: Bi. Gay. Little diffrence.

davepoobond: did she just grab his shorts or did she reach down his pants

davepoobond: ?

#8592: SR71 Steve -> mm4526

SR71 Steve: isn’t nicole hot?

mm4526: YES…Yes she is

SR71 Steve: damn u

SR71 Steve: get ur hands off my bitch

mm4526: Damn u u Gary Coleman hater

mm4526: GARY COLEMAN

SR71 Steve: U saying ur a pony fucker?

mm4526: STop spazzin

mm4526: gee

SR71 Steve: meatloaf

mm4526: my keyboard isnt as saucy as yours

SR71 Steve: blue

mm4526: doo da da dada deh

mm4526: ther coming from u

mm4526: for u*

SR71 Steve: so

SR71 Steve: i have the power of chesse

mm4526: by the time u get that itll be to late

mm4526: ill already be gone

mm4526: to…

SR71 Steve: damn u clark kent!

mm4526: Sweet Home Alabama

mm4526: Yes…Clark Kent

SR71 Steve: so u R the real slim shady

SR71 Steve: !

mm4526: no im not

mm4526: gee

mm4526: dont talk about those apples

SR71 Steve: damn

SR71 Steve: my search continues

SR71 Steve: farwell

#8591: SR71 Steve -> AndiliciousMe

SR71 Steve: aa

AndiliciousMe: who is this

SR71 Steve: bob

SR71 Steve: who r u?

AndiliciousMe: how did u ghet me sn

AndiliciousMe: my*

SR71 Steve: from the ghetto

SR71 Steve: how did u get MY sn?

AndiliciousMe: u imed me

AndiliciousMe: who is this

SR71 Steve: ur liying bitch

AndiliciousMe: who the fuck is this

SR71 Steve: BOB GOD DAMN IT!

SR71 Steve: WHO THE HELL R U!?

AndiliciousMe: bob who

SR71 Steve: What’s it to ya

AndiliciousMe: wat skool do u go 2

SR71 Steve: Sunrise

AndiliciousMe: this is daniels friend

SR71 Steve: uh no

AndiliciousMe: bye

SR71 Steve: ok then

AndiliciousMe: ur gay

SR71 Steve: nope, lesbian

AndiliciousMe signed off at 5:10:51 PM.