Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

#10417: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

This entry is part 2 of 8 in the series blowthetoad Wants to Be a Poop Troop

blowthetoad was on a different sn than what davepoobond knew him on, trying to act like he was somebody else.

blowthetoad: well

blowthetoad: can i join squackle?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: i dont know who this is, but this is blowthetoad

davepoobond: ur asking the wrong idiot

blowthetoad: eh?

blowthetoad: no, i want to join squackle

blowthetoad: a pooper trooper or whatever

davepoobond: spaces are full

davepoobond: try back next millenia

blowthetoad: =-O

blowthetoad: who is this?

davepoobond: blowthetoad

blowthetoad: then why are you on dave’s name?

davepoobond: cuz i hacked it

blowthetoad: =0o

davepoobond: now go away

blowthetoad: :'(

blowthetoad: where can i contact dave

davepoobond: u cant

davepoobond: i tied him up and gagged him

blowthetoad: =-O

blowthetoad: darnit

#10416: davepoobond -> Phoenix

davepoobond: what is the longest word in the dictionary?

davepoobond: say you dont know so i can tell u the rest of the joke

Phoenix: antidisestablishimentaryinism

davepoobond: nope

Phoenix: acually it is…

davepoobond: smiles. Because there’s a mile between the two s’s

Phoenix: ….

Phoenix: accually that was the real longest word

davepoobond: it scares me how you remember that

Phoenix: Lol

Phoenix: I am God

#10415: davepoobond -> ProjectPlaya

davepoobond: asshole

ProjectPlaya: huh

davepoobond: ur an asshole

davepoobond: u asshole

davepoobond: ya thats right, i called u an asshole

ProjectPlaya: y

davepoobond: cuz

davepoobond: u

davepoobond: are

ProjectPlaya: ok

davepoobond: ok

ProjectPlaya: asl

davepoobond: stupid puss

davepoobond: y would i wanna give u that

davepoobond: 16/m

::davepoobond gets warned to 33% “anonymously”::

davepoobond: stupid idiot, if ur gonna warn me to 33%, you might as well just warn me regularly

davepoobond: i KNOW its you, yer the only one i’m talkin to

#10413: davepoobond -> YourMamasMom

davepoobond: Hey grandma

YourMamasMom: hey son

davepoobond: how’s the “condition” coming along?

YourMamasMom: well

YourMamasMom: um

YourMamasMom: i have aids

YourMamasMom: and i love it

davepoobond: not that one….

YourMamasMom: 😎

YourMamasMom: o

YourMamasMom: what other one

davepoobond: y’know….the one with the….::nudge nudge::

YourMamasMom: huh

YourMamasMom: o my dick

YourMamasMom: ya i know

davepoobond: yeah, its so unfortunate how it just grew one day

Previous message was not received by YourMamasMom because of error: User YourMamasMom is not available.

#10412: davepoobond -> DrummerG

davepoobond: yo!

DrummerG: hello

DrummerG: how may i help u?

davepoobond: well, if you gave me some money that’d help

DrummerG: lol dont we all need money?

davepoobond: if u put it that way, yes

DrummerG: ok

davepoobond: but i dont care about anybody but me when it comes to money, so give me some

DrummerG: lol gimmie got ran over by the ice cream truck

davepoobond: but the ice cream truck is for sale

DrummerG: w/e

davepoobond: so i gotta buy it with the money that you gave me

DrummerG: rright

davepoobond: which should already be at western union by now

davepoobond: am i right?

DrummerG: did u really im me just to ask me for money?

davepoobond: yeah, kinda

davepoobond: i’m at dire straights for money, and i’d rather sit here in my chair doing nothing while wasting all the electricity california has to offer and pay for every cent of it

DrummerG: ok well since im not giving u any money its kinda irrelivent for us to finish this conversation rright?

davepoobond: instead of getting a job

davepoobond: but then if we dont finish teh conversation, it’ll never end

davepoobond: and i’m sure both of us dont want that

davepoobond: hold on lemme turn the blow dryer off

davepoobond: blow driers*

davepoobond: dryers?

davepoobond: driers/dryers/Dryers (ice cream)

DrummerG: i want u to stop asking for the immpossible

davepoobond: y’mean like peace in the world, a Bush that isnt in politics

davepoobond: pretzels that are covered in mercifully sweet vanilla

davepoobond: but not chocolate, cuz i’m just racist like that

davepoobond: like the whole majority of white trash

DrummerG: well then um…. gues this further concludes our convo cuz im black!!!!

davepoobond: so what

davepoobond: u think i’m racist against people?

davepoobond: i’m racist against the type of food i eat

DrummerG: personally i dont care

davepoobond: i dont eat red apples, cuz they’re like rednecks

davepoobond: i hate rednecks though, they’re annoying

davepoobond: except when they’re making car crashes or shooting shotguns

davepoobond: then they’re just plain funny

DrummerG: we are having an unnecessery conversation u of all people should know about being annoyed with dumb ass stupid questions

DrummerG: or asking for the impossible

davepoobond: y’mean like jerry seinfeld and dennis miller teaming up to do a porno with the olsen twins?

davepoobond: inside a pair of britney spears’ pants

DrummerG: from here on out i have nothig more to say to you

davepoobond: thats good

davepoobond: i’ve got plenty to say to YOU though

davepoobond: like why people really dont care about the alligator problem in New Mexico

davepoobond: y’see, the problem lies within the grand canyon

davepoobond: the next state over

davepoobond: but that’s not the point

davepoobond: the point is, is that the colorado river

davepoobond: rather, the crocodile river

davepoobond: actually sends over crocodiles through a time-space rift

davepoobond: and the crocodiles become sick

davepoobond: and then they throw up deer carcasses and crap like that into New Mexico

davepoobond: THEN THEY DISAPPEAR

davepoobond: I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT

davepoobond: but, i can explain that

davepoobond: they go back through the time space rift

davepoobond: and go back to Candy Land

davepoobond: wow you’ve been on for 19 hours

davepoobond: u thought i was finished

davepoobond: oh no i’m not

davepoobond: i just had to get some water

davepoobond: cuz i’m just rascist like that

davepoobond: instead of getting the pee-ish color of apple juice

davepoobond: or the pure white of milk

davepoobond: but i’d rather have the clear…sooothing….

davepoobond: WATER

davepoobond: gtg bye!

#10410: vietnamese duck -> davepoobond

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series ZizuKhu says

Right after #10409, some guy that I think is the same as ZizuKhu says IMs me…

vietnamese duck: howdy fucker

davepoobond: i’m not a duck fucker

davepoobond: sooooooooooooo hi

vietnamese duck: you wish you were

vietnamese duck: pot

vietnamese duck: soooooooo high

vietnamese duck: TAT

vietnamese duck: fuckin loser

davepoobond: AHA THATS SOOOO FUNNY

davepoobond: ur the loser

davepoobond: fag

davepoobond: look at u

davepoobond: in ur robe

davepoobond: probably hittin ur sack

davepoobond: “hey mom look at me i can swing my nuts over my head”

davepoobond: thats you

davepoobond: all day

davepoobond: at school too

vietnamese duck: so you think im a guy then

vietnamese duck: lmao

davepoobond: “hey teach! look at me swing my nuts over my head”

vietnamese duck: fucker

davepoobond: yeah well same thing

vietnamese duck: no

vietnamese duck: i know who this is

davepoobond: i bet ur a girl with nuts hanging out of her vagina

davepoobond: vaginnnaaa

davepoobond: you know who what is

vietnamese duck: im not a dumbshit

davepoobond: …….pfff HAHAHA

vietnamese duck: “im pissed off dont make me sign off oh ok bye” then you just block

davepoobond: thats funny. tell me more silly stories

davepoobond: hrmm?

vietnamese duck: HRMM

davepoobond: why would i block

vietnamese duck: cause thats the sound i make when i throw up

davepoobond: or when someones screwing ur mom up the ass

davepoobond: cuz u like to watch

vietnamese duck: yes

vietnamese duck: i do

vietnamese duck: and i like to shove the black dildo 2000 up their ass

davepoobond: haha

Previous message was not received by vietnamese duck because of error: User vietnamese duck is not available.

#10409: davepoobond -> ZizuKhu says

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series ZizuKhu says

davepoobond: hey, how’s it going Emily?

ZizuKhu says: excuse me

davepoobond: your excused

davepoobond: ahha

ZizuKhu says: who the hell is this

davepoobond: ur mom

davepoobond: mwah

davepoobond: mwah

ZizuKhu says: get a life faggot

ZizuKhu says signed off at 9:36:33 PM.

davepoobond: and its way past ur bed time

Previous message was not received by ZizuKhu says because of error: User ZizuKhu says is not available.

#10406: SkatDvss -> davepoobond

SkatDvss: hheeeeey

SkatDvss: watsup

davepoobond: nothin u

SkatDvss: nothiin

SkatDvss: wat are u gonna do all day

davepoobond: i dunnooooo

SkatDvss: me im gonna hav the dumbest day of my life

davepoobond: thats great

SkatDvss: no its not

davepoobond: sure it is

SkatDvss: hav u seen the movie the ring

davepoobond: no

SkatDvss: do u want to

davepoobond: not especially

SkatDvss: i do

SkatDvss: cuz i herd it was sopose to be the scaryest movie

SkatDvss: wat movie do u want to see

davepoobond: i dunno

SkatDvss: oh

SkatDvss: nice talken to un g2g bye

davepoobond: k bye

SkatDvss: bye