#10452: davepoobond -> FireRaze

davepoobond: dude bigfoot was fake after all

FireRaze: and I just found out that the Loch Ness monster is not really swimming around at Loch ness…

davepoobond: but i’m telling the truth

FireRaze: Oh…really, I was just messing with ya

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: bigfoot was this 84 year old guy that just died

FireRaze: are you really being serious?

davepoobond: yeah

FireRaze: cool

FireRaze: where did you find that out?

davepoobond: on the news

davepoobond: yesterday

FireRaze: you mean….on TV?

davepoobond: yeah

 

#10450: davepoobond -> Holmes

davepoobond: lol i got this file that was supposed to be metallica covering pearl jam – jeremy. but its just 3 guys being idiots and singing the whole thing with the actual song. but i like it!

Holmes: lol

davepoobond: but it was pretty good

davepoobond: you can barely hear the music though

Holmes: i downloaded a music video a while ago, i forgot who it was, but it ended up being a porn

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: was it a good porn?

Holmes: pissed me off

Holmes: no

davepoobond: what kind

Holmes: it was a guy jerkin off on a girls face

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: i mean you would think he would get a blowjob off of her but no, he decided to beat his shit

davepoobond: what was she doing just sitting there or somethin

davepoobond: kneeling down “yes ejaculate on me!”

Holmes: she didn’t say anything, she was on her knees with her eye’s closed waiting for it to rain cum

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: the guy was moaning…he sounded like an elephant

davepoobond: omg thats hilarious

Holmes: “ERRRRRRHHHM HAVEN’T USED THIS IN A WHILE”

davepoobond: did you watch the whole thing

Holmes: it was like 15 seconds

davepoobond: did he get off though

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: then it ended

davepoobond: was the girls expression like =-O

Holmes: no she had the same expression the whole time

Holmes: eyes closed

Holmes: head up

davepoobond: not smiling or anything?

Holmes: waiting for jiz shower

Holmes: even when it happened

Holmes: nope

davepoobond: wut a stupid porn

Holmes: i know

Holmes: deleted it right after i got it

davepoobond: did he have a small weinieee

Holmes: i didn’t measure

Holmes: nor did i care

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: but i think it was average

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: average

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: i’m not the cockexpert

 

#10448: davepoobond -> Holmes

davepoobond: i saw this ridiculous movie

davepoobond: called “message in a voice mail”

davepoobond: it was a family movie

davepoobond: kinda thing

davepoobond: on HBO Family

davepoobond: this stupid kid finds this fat guy’s cell phone, and when he goes to his hotel room to return it to him, he hears the guy getting shot “and also his father’s name”

davepoobond: and this little kid was so annoying

davepoobond: his face

davepoobond: my god, i never saw such a stupid face

Holmes: lol

davepoobond: its like a cross between macauly culkin’s screaming face

davepoobond: and some other thing

davepoobond: like a kid that has been molested

davepoobond: many times

davepoobond: and he has 2 stupid friends

davepoobond: one asshole

davepoobond: and this fat kid

davepoobond: that isn’t really that fat

davepoobond: but he is

davepoobond: and he wears glasses

davepoobond: and he always has a lollipop

davepoobond: and the “popular hangout” is the pool at this hotel

davepoobond: all these kinda hot girls were actually there

davepoobond: and the first 10 or 15 minutes of the movie

davepoobond: was just them being assholes

davepoobond: and pushing girls in bikinis into the pool

davepoobond: and that stupid asshole friend “breakdances” and shit

davepoobond: and theres like all these scenes of him following right behind all these hot girls underwater

Holmes: wow

davepoobond: and then after about 7 of those

davepoobond: he’s gettin chased by a fat girl in a one piece

davepoobond: the same way

davepoobond: goddamn its so stupid

davepoobond: he missed like the vital 2 minutes of the movie though, so i didnt understand the rest of the movie that much

davepoobond: something about like they had to crack the code or something

davepoobond: man

davepoobond: it sucked

davepoobond: another movie that sucked: Chrome and Hot Leather

davepoobond: check it out

davepoobond: it was made in 1970

davepoobond: its about a biker gang

Holmes: too many damn bad movies

davepoobond: and in that family movie

davepoobond: they only had one song

davepoobond: as their soundtrack

davepoobond: it was a punk song

davepoobond: they played it at the beginning, and at the end

davepoobond: it was supposed to make it seem like those 3 kids were really cool

davepoobond: cuz they were breakdancing and shit

davepoobond: but they really werent breakdancing

Holmes: wow

Holmes: sounds horrible

davepoobond: it is

Holmes: HORRIBLE

davepoobond: i cant even explain why someone would write something like this

davepoobond: unless they had a similar experience

davepoobond: and the acting is purely laughable

davepoobond: its one of the funniest movies i’ve ever seen

davepoobond: and all through the movie, its like “what the hell is the mom doing, she’s so stupid”

davepoobond: she’s aware of the problem, but she doesn’t care to find out about it

davepoobond: and this guys dad is in jail

davepoobond: man its just so stupid

 

#10444: davepoobond -> Holmes

davepoobond: you and me baby aint nothin but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel doo be doo be doooo…

Holmes: what the

davepoobond: what?

Holmes: hold on brb

davepoobond: k

Holmes: ok

Holmes: that was the worst pickup line ever

davepoobond: heh. its a song

Holmes: well

Holmes: thats the worst song

Holmes: ever

davepoobond: no it isnt

davepoobond: its a funny song

Holmes: oh it’s a comedy song?

davepoobond: not really

davepoobond: its not made for comedy

davepoobond: its like an actual song

davepoobond: made by an actual band

davepoobond: bloodhound gang – the bad touch

Holmes: oh

Holmes: well it’s a bad song but funny

davepoobond: u got it already?

Holmes: no i might

Holmes: i have too many damn songs on my computer

Holmes: 3 people using this computer and 3 different kinds of music

Holmes: rap, hard rock and techno

davepoobond: good techno or shitty techno

Holmes: good techno

 

#10443: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: yo

davepoobond: yo

davepoobond: haha get it yo yo

davepoobond: i wanted to sayyyy

stimpyismyname: pretty good

davepoobond: dont you shivaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

davepoobond: shivaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

stimpyismyname: ..?

davepoobond: thats a cold play song

davepoobond: if u even KNEW

stimpyismyname: coldplay sucks

davepoobond: no they dont

davepoobond: thats why they’re selling millions of albums and your not

stimpyismyname: i didnt make an album

davepoobond: and your point being?

stimpyismyname: but if i did it would be better

stimpyismyname: nyah

davepoobond: ya right

stimpyismyname: coldplay sucks

davepoobond: as opposed to hot play?

davepoobond: hahahaha

stimpyismyname: as opposed to your mom

stimpyismyname: wanna play a yahoo game

davepoobond: i guess so. i need a link again

stimpyismyname: sqare and enix merged

stimpyismyname: woo

davepoobond: great

davepoobond: now they can make good games as one

davepoobond: what are they called now?

stimpyismyname: star ocean final fantasy

davepoobond: Star Ocean IX

stimpyismyname: “Square Enix”

davepoobond: really

stimpyismyname: but theyre not sure

davepoobond: thats gay

stimpyismyname: star ocean 3

stimpyismyname: actually

davepoobond: they’re still makin star ocean?

stimpyismyname: what would you call it

davepoobond: Squaresoft

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: no one cares about enix

davepoobond: except dragon warrior likers and star ocean lovers

stimpyismyname: yeah

stimpyismyname: star ocean

stimpyismyname: dragon quest

davepoobond: dragon warrior

davepoobond: thats all they got

davepoobond: its like they’re buying 2 games

davepoobond: maybe square will make it better now

stimpyismyname: make your mom better

stimpyismyname: oooh

stimpyismyname: devil may cry

stimpyismyname: greatist hit!

stimpyismyname: thats a fun game

davepoobond: yay

davepoobond: maybe i’ll buy it now

stimpyismyname: metal gear solid 2 also

davepoobond: does it get boring after a while though?

davepoobond: whoohoo

stimpyismyname: which

davepoobond: dmc

stimpyismyname: i dunno

davepoobond: gta3 is gonna be a greatest hit now isnt it?

stimpyismyname: i didnt beat it

stimpyismyname: its pretty hard

stimpyismyname: not yet

stimpyismyname: silent hill 2…

stimpyismyname: fart

stimpyismyname: wanna doooooooooo somethin

davepoobond: after 3

davepoobond: some guy is supposed to come

davepoobond: to fix the heater

davepoobond: dunno if he’s gonna come while my moms home for lunch

stimpyismyname: interesting

davepoobond: you and me baby aint nothin but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel doo be doo be doooo…

stimpyismyname: stfu

stimpyismyname: weeee are the champions my friens

davepoobond: frien?

stimpyismyname: friends

stimpyismyname: fag

davepoobond: i didnt know u had fags for friends

davepoobond: wait a second…

davepoobond: i just dissed myself…

stimpyismyname: yea

stimpyismyname: u did

stimpyismyname: lil fag

davepoobond: ur the fag

stimpyismyname: oh yeah?!

stimpyismyname: im gonna kill you

 

#10442: FroggyStyle -> davepoobond

FroggyStyle: ey ey

FroggyStyle: 10 reasons it’s good 2 b rich.. wana hear?

davepoobond: sure

FroggyStyle: 1. We get minorities to do our work, and when we discriminate against them, they can’t do shit about it!

FroggyStyle: 2. You don’t spend more than ten minutes worrying about losing a 20 dollar bill.

FroggyStyle: p.s. – aol sux

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: so that’s all

davepoobond: only 2

FroggyStyle: 2?

davepoobond: i only got 2 of them

davepoobond: the reasons why its good to b rich

FroggyStyle: goddamn i sent all of them, musta got disconnected b4 it sed

FroggyStyle: 😛

davepoobond: heh

FroggyStyle: 3. You can spend 5 bucks on a bottle of water and use 1/2 of it to squirt on other people without feeling guilty.

FroggyStyle: 4. People we hate eventually have to work for us or become homeless.

FroggyStyle: 5. We can actually swim in a bathtub full of money.

FroggyStyle: 6. People treat you better because they think you’ll buy stuff for them.

FroggyStyle: 7. In your heart, you know God loves you more.

FroggyStyle: 8. Watching poor people is funny.

FroggyStyle: 9. I can do only 9 of these, and not do the tenth, because I’m rich, and I don’t need to do any more work.

davepoobond: heh

FroggyStyle: asdfasdf DAMN AOL! u get them all?

davepoobond: ya

FroggyStyle: kk

 

#10441: Rick Torn -> Para

Para: I am probably going to go to hell for this one. However, if anyone tries to sell me on something, they better know what they are talking about. Heaven help them if they contradict themselves as well.

Rick Torn: Would you like to join your friends and family in an every loving eternity of bliss, within the embrace of christianity?

Para: Does it come with a health plan?

Rick Torn: The.. loving touch of jehovah.

Para: Dental as well?

Rick Torn: Perhaps at some of our christian dental practices.

Para: Ah…

Para: Query, do my pets get a special place in Heaven?

Para: Eternal bliss without my cat doesn’t seem all that likely.

Rick Torn: Of course, all your loved ones join your within the great bosomn of heavan.

Para: Do people learn how to spell in heaven?

Rick Torn: Gods love is not simply restricted to those who may spell.

Rick Torn: So what do you say spirit sister?

Para: I didn’t say his love was restricted to that.

Para: I merely asked if part of the bliss was that people would spell correctly.

Rick Torn: yes, it is,

Rick Torn: Would you like to follow the path of jesus?

Para: Which path?

Rick Torn: the path to righteousness..

Para: There are so many interpretations of the bible. How many paths of righteousness are there?

Rick Torn: Which when this 12,000 year old world will be destroyed by the apocalypse you will be saved.

Para: Will only Christians be saved?

Rick Torn: Because thet rue bible, the testament tell me so.

Rick Torn: Those who have accepted god will be saved.

Para: There are many different gods worshipped in the world though.

Rick Torn: Ah..but only one true god.

Para: Which ones will go to hell because they never even knew about Jesus?

Rick Torn: Everyone has a chance to know about jesus, if they truly search their soul.

Rick Torn: They need no foreign assistance.

Rick Torn: For the holy ghost is within them upon birth.

Para: Yes, but how do they know it is Jesus, and not Satan? It is said that Satan is one who plays tricks and is much more crafty than us mortals.

Para: How can we be sure we are following the right deity?

Rick Torn: You would need to turn to a darker path in order to find satan, where as gods love is with you when you’re born.

Para: Yet, there were many wars fought in God’s name.

Para: Is that not a dark path?

Para: That of war?

Rick Torn: They are faught in gods name, but they place his name in vain..

Rick Torn: If I were to say..”God damn” I would be using gods name.

Rick Torn: It would be in vain however.

Para: Well, I am sorry to say, but I have slipped and said God’s name in vain.

Para: I guess I am doomed.

Rick Torn: Who said that?

Rick Torn: as long as you truly love god it doesn’t matter what language you use. I could be the greatest pasture in the world and still say god damn yet find love for god in my soul, they’re only words.

Para: Then why is it a Cardinal sin?

Para: Are you saying the bible doesn’t mean what it says?

Rick Torn: The bible doesn’t mention quite a few things.

Rick Torn: It doesn’t mention dinosaurs yet there is evidence they existed.

Rick Torn: That is proof that the bible is slightly flawed, however true love of god is not.

Rick Torn: It’s more instinctive.

Para: So, you willingly follow a flawed book?

Para: I thought God was perfect.

Para: Why would he inspire people to create something in his name, that was in error?

Rick Torn: God is perfect, humans are not..

Rick Torn: and he used a human as his conduit to earth.

Para: So then, is Jesus imperfect?

Rick Torn: the more important ideas in the bible are true..the rest are there to appease the apathetic dosile masses,those who are ignorant to his might.

Para: He was human, correct?

Rick Torn: correct.

Rick Torn: Only jehovah is perfect.

Para: So, you are saying that the rest is to dupe the masses.

Rick Torn: Pretty much.

Para: Didn’t Hitler do the same thing? Make up wild claims to appease the masses so he could gain power?

Rick Torn: Some some extent.

Rick Torn: to some extent*

Para: Didn’t Hitler wage wars for his beliefs? As do most holy wars occur?

Rick Torn: He sure did.

Para: Where is the difference?

Para: Doesn’t the bible say that you should kill in certain circumstances? As where people are being blasphemous?

Rick Torn: God didn’t insinuate the wars..humans did.

Rick Torn: As I stated, they aren’t perfect.

Rick Torn: So how could they possibly comprehend the divine knowledge of jehovah..without making some error?

Para: Then why should I follow your religions interpretation of the bible? When you just admitted that people are flawed.

Rick Torn: Perhaps that was his purpose..

Rick Torn: To put some error in the bible..

Rick Torn: So that people will think..

Para: So that he would lose the lambs who could not make the leap of faith over the flaws?

Rick Torn: The sickly, weak minded lambs?

Rick Torn: yes.

Para: Am I not one of them, for I find the flaws glaring.

Rick Torn: You must simply look beyond the flaws..I’m sure you have flaws yourself and afterall it was translated by man.

Para: What if I can’t look beyond the flaws?

Para: That is like asking someone to touch the back of a fireplace and to ignore the fact that it is on fire.

Rick Torn: If you yourself were a being of fire at the time you were passing your hand through the fire to touch the back of the fireplace..

Rick Torn: you could simply ignore it..

Rick Torn: much like this..

Rick Torn: you are a being of flaw..so is the book.

Rick Torn: Ignore it.

Para: And I do ignore the book.

Para: Thank you for vindicating it.

Rick Torn: sure thing.

Para: So, what was your point again?

Rick Torn: huh? gee I forgot.

Para: I tend to do that to people.

Rick Torn: No problem.

 

#10440: CashMoney -> Para

CashMoney: HOW DID U MAKE UR PROFILE LIK THAT

Para: Magic

CashMoney: CAN U TEL ME

Para: it wouldn’t be a secret then

CashMoney: O WELL

Para: sorry

CashMoney: U KNOW …… BLACKHEART

CashMoney: DID U DO HER PROFILE TOO

Para: umm…no

CashMoney: K

CashMoney: WHAT SKOOL DO U GO TO

Para: Mt. Everst Academy

Para: U?

CashMoney: CAN U JUST TELL ME HOW U PUT A PICTURE IN IT

CashMoney: CURTIS AND MAYBE WAGNER

Para: You have to pay AOL

CashMoney: HOW OLD RU ?

Para: 43

CashMoney: WHAT

Para: 43

CashMoney: UR 43 YEARS OLD ?

CashMoney: OR U HAVE TO PAY AOL 43 DOLLAS

Para: HOW OLD R U?

CashMoney: 16

Para: OoOo

Para: I LIKE EM YUNG

CashMoney: DO U HVAE A PIC

Para: NOT OF ME

CashMoney: WHAT DO U HVAE PICS OF ?

Para: MY DOG

CashMoney: ANYTHING ELSE ?

Para: MY CAT?

CashMoney: DO U HAVE ANY KIND OF PICS OF PEOPLE

Para: OH, AND MY FOOT

CashMoney: OR THERE PARTS

Para: YES, MY FOOT

CashMoney: THATS IT

Para: NO…I HAVE A FEW OTHERS

CashMoney: K SEND ME THE BEST ONES

Para: DISEMBODIED FINGERNAILS AND WHAT NOT…

Para: SEND ME URS

CashMoney: S2R …. AFTER U SEND ILL SEND

Para: I DONT TRUST U

CashMoney: =)

CashMoney: FINE … BUT CAN U PLEASE TELL ME HOW I CAN PUT A PICTURE ON MY PROFILE

Para: YEAH…

Para: PAY AOL

CashMoney: YEA OK

CashMoney: R U MARRIED

Para: NO, THEY FROWN ON THAT IN PRISON

CashMoney: HOW FAR HAVE U GONE WIT A GUY

Para: BEFORE HE DIED?

CashMoney: YE

Para: NOT TOO FAR…

CashMoney: WHAT BASE

Para: I HAVE MY BEST FUN WHEN THEY STOP BREATHING

CashMoney: HAHA WATS LIKE THE BIGGEST DIK UVE SEEN … HOW BIG ?

Para: 3 INCHES…

Para: AFTER I WAS DONE

CashMoney: NO WAY

CashMoney: THATS TINY

Para: IT WAS BIGGER AT FIRST

CashMoney: Y WHEN U FUK TTHE DIK GETS SMALLER ?

CashMoney: HOW BIG ?>

Para: THE KNIFE TAKES CARE OF MOST OF IT,

CashMoney: WHAT

CashMoney: YEA RITE

CashMoney: IM SURE U CUT IT OFF

Para: OKAY I BITE…BUT THE KNIFE THING SOUND BETTER

CashMoney: AND U THIN,K I BELIEVE U

CashMoney: HHAH

Para: WHERE DO U LIVE?

CashMoney: UP THE BLOCK FROM U

Para: YOUR IN CELL BLOCK D TOO?

CashMoney: YEA

Para: IN THE WOMAN’S FACILITY?

CashMoney: YUP

Para: I AM NOT THAT WAY

CashMoney: O WELL

Para: OFF WITH YOU NOW.

 

#10438: davepoobond -> Holmes

davepoobond: the first woman president will probably be a Bush

Holmes: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Holmes: don’t scare me like that

davepoobond: thats what i’m betting

davepoobond: there’s two of them

davepoobond: but no son

davepoobond: i dont think

Holmes: eh

 

#10436: davepoobond -> OmnipotentDragun

davepoobond: nerd

OmnipotentDragun: me?

davepoobond: yes

OmnipotentDragun: why’s that?

davepoobond: cuz ur in “Geneaolgy Chat”

OmnipotentDragun: ok . . . . .

OmnipotentDragun: so are you

davepoobond: so i can tell people like u that ur nerds

davepoobond: doyyyyyyy

OmnipotentDragun: Are you smart?

davepoobond: ….no……….wait……..yes…….wait…….is this a trick question?

OmnipotentDragun: Not that I know of

OmnipotentDragun: But we’ll just have to see where the conversation goes

davepoobond: down the potty

davepoobond: teehee

davepoobond: i said potty

davepoobond: thats a naughty word in the house

davepoobond: we’re not aloud to say that kinda word

davepoobond: like poo

davepoobond: or even the word chocolate

OmnipotentDragun: I’m willing to bet that you’re fairly old, atleast in comparison to the way you’re trying to come across as

davepoobond: did you just contradict yourself?

davepoobond: oops i said another bad word

davepoobond: try to guess which

OmnipotentDragun: yourself?

davepoobond: AGHH!

OmnipotentDragun: wrong?

davepoobond: no u guessed it right

davepoobond: semicolon dash D

davepoobond: using smilies is prohibited in this household

davepoobond: we have to type out what we want to say

OmnipotentDragun: and why’s that?

davepoobond: cuz smilies are the DEVIL

davepoobond: THE DEVIL I SAY

OmnipotentDragun: And what is god?

davepoobond: or at least thats what mamma said

OmnipotentDragun: no smiley faces?

davepoobond: no, there is this really funny site though

davepoobond: called www.squackle.com

davepoobond: thats God

OmnipotentDragun: Pardon me for not visiting, but bad things can come through web-sites nowadays

davepoobond: too bad…

davepoobond: its really a great place

OmnipotentDragun: Poor me

OmnipotentDragun: So, what’s the deffinition of a nerd/

OmnipotentDragun: ?

davepoobond: u may even be up there one day

davepoobond: mwah

davepoobond: mwah mwah

OmnipotentDragun: ?

davepoobond: u’ll never know cuz u’ll never go

davepoobond: ahhahahaha

OmnipotentDragun: ok

OmnipotentDragun: take care man

davepoobond: k bye

davepoobond: u takin off?

OmnipotentDragun: nah, I just thought you were out of things to say to try and freak me out

davepoobond: ha

davepoobond: thats funny

davepoobond: i havent even begun

davepoobond: give me a topic

OmnipotentDragun: it won’t work

OmnipotentDragun: so save your time

davepoobond: if i saved my time i’d have more time to bug u

OmnipotentDragun: if you saved your time, you’d have more time to spend reading

davepoobond: pfff

davepoobond: now i KNOW ur a nerd

davepoobond: i was right

OmnipotentDragun: The urge to learn makes me a nerd?

davepoobond: not exactly

davepoobond: but to say that i should spend my time reading

OmnipotentDragun: you should

davepoobond: and also using “urge” and “learn” in the same sentence

OmnipotentDragun: I have a vocation to consume and understand knowledge, better?

davepoobond: boy that took a while for you to cough up

davepoobond: i bet you made use of yer handy dandy electronic thesaurus/dictionary that you always keep by your side in dire times

OmnipotentDragun: Nah, I keep a knife on my side- the only reason it took so long is that I’m talknig to several other people at the moment

davepoobond: myow myow myow myow?

OmnipotentDragun: ok. . . . .

davepoobond: ok, then whiz kid, whats the most intellectual thing you know

OmnipotentDragun: I don’t suppose I know anyhting intellectual

davepoobond: sure you do

davepoobond: i know you know something smart

OmnipotentDragun: ok

davepoobond: better yet, who framed roger rabbit?

davepoobond: i still don’t know

OmnipotentDragun: the guy from back to the future

davepoobond: christopher lloyd?

OmnipotentDragun: the cartoon that pretended to be human

OmnipotentDragun: yeah, that dude

davepoobond: the guy that was in The Pagemaster, with Macauly Culkin?

davepoobond: the guy that was in Angels In the Outfield?

davepoobond: the guy that was in no good movie to speak of?

OmnipotentDragun: hehehe

OmnipotentDragun: that’s the one

davepoobond: oh yeah, you can just call him AL. no one can see him or hear him but you.

davepoobond: did you know THAT

OmnipotentDragun: . . . .

OmnipotentDragun: I remember it now that you mention it

OmnipotentDragun: why>?

davepoobond: cuz……………..mmmh….ANGELS WIN! ANGELS WIN!!

davepoobond: WHOOOOOOO

OmnipotentDragun: ok man

davepoobond: they actually did.

davepoobond: y’know

davepoobond: if u watch sports or listen to the news at all

davepoobond: when you’re not reading your books that is

OmnipotentDragun: I’m working now more than reading

davepoobond: y’know, get aware of the understanding of whats happening in the world

davepoobond: i bet you didnt even know that there’s been a killing spree in LA

OmnipotentDragun: ok . . . . .

davepoobond: or even that we’re on the brink of war AGAIN, with Iraq

OmnipotentDragun: Not to mention osama bin laden is still alive(like anyone cares)

davepoobond: how long did you have to put down ur book to read a newspaper for that one?

OmnipotentDragun: I work more than read anymore, or were you not listening?

davepoobond: yeah but when ur not working i meant

davepoobond: or were you not assuming that

davepoobond: obviously not

OmnipotentDragun: I don’t care much for most current events

OmnipotentDragun: They seem so trivial

davepoobond: aha….i knew it…

davepoobond: i know your kind

OmnipotentDragun: my kind?

davepoobond: youre the type of person that sits at home, and in his spare time, picks up a good book. not the bible, but something a bit more….interesting…

davepoobond: ah, but i’m not done explaining yet

OmnipotentDragun: Soothsayer

davepoobond: you have a few select, maybe 1 maybe less….maybe negative friends even. you probably dont waste your time or money on the sound systems. you have a tv, but you barely get any use out of it. all you do is sit in that lovely chair in your den, with your reading lamp

davepoobond: you’re a part of a book club. not a woman’s interest book club, but still a book club. you get together every thursday, at approximately 6:00, after work at the local retail book store.

davepoobond: maybe Costco

davepoobond: or some warehouse kind of store

davepoobond: or a large grocery store that tries to be like a Costco

davepoobond: anyway, your friend comes around every sunday, to play that “weekly chessmatch”

davepoobond: but you have 2 chessboards, one for your “chess by mail” friend

davepoobond: and one for you and your other friend

davepoobond: your friend probably speaks 3 languages, and has glasses on. he has a sort of a lisp

davepoobond: and an accent. its hard to understand him, so he just writes down what he wants to say, cuz he stutters when he speaks, and it’ll be less effort, cuz he’d rather “conserve his energy”

davepoobond: you probably smell, and don’t wear any deodorant, but just won’t get the hint from others at your job, because that would just be mean to say to one of your fellow employees that “you stink”

OmnipotentDragun: I have comprehension

davepoobond: ah yes, we all do

davepoobond: so, how much did i get right?

OmnipotentDragun: Almost none

davepoobond: ::snap::

davepoobond: ok, i’ve got the alternative lifestyle for you also…

davepoobond: what did i get right though?

OmnipotentDragun: picks up a good book. not the bible, but something a bit more….interesting…

davepoobond: no favortie chair in the den with your reading lamp?

davepoobond: it’s probably a couch with a regular lamp

OmnipotentDragun: I sit all over the place

OmnipotentDragun: You’d never be able to peg me

davepoobond: that was some good devolpment though wasn’t it

OmnipotentDragun: no

davepoobond: ….oh…

davepoobond: ok, lemme take another guess at it then

OmnipotentDragun: be quick

OmnipotentDragun: I don’t have all night

davepoobond: your a tough biker guy, you have a long brown beard, and piercings on your left ear.

davepoobond: you’ve got a chopper, 92

OmnipotentDragun: no. . . .right ear

OmnipotentDragun: j/k

davepoobond: heh….k…..

davepoobond: you’ve got a biker maid

davepoobond: the one that always rides on your bike

davepoobond: but is actually going out with some other biker in your biker gang

davepoobond: your biker gang is known as the “chain swingers”

davepoobond: cuz you swing around sacks of salami

davepoobond: one day, you see a car flying off the curb, and you and your biker gang, somehow end up being attacked by 3 marines in the mountain range, and one of them is claiming that your gang killed his wife

davepoobond: and they declare war on your biker gang

davepoobond: using all these military weaponry that they could never actually really possibly get

OmnipotentDragun: you can stop now

davepoobond: oh, have you seen that movie?

OmnipotentDragun: Would you like to know about me, instead of just stabbing in the dark?

davepoobond: sure

OmnipotentDragun: I’m 17, I work at the house I just recently purchased, I work out every night, I read to prep myself for college

davepoobond: thats it.

OmnipotentDragun: HA

OmnipotentDragun: I lied

OmnipotentDragun: MWA HA HA HA

OmnipotentDragun: ^ evil laugh

OmnipotentDragun: j/k

davepoobond: yeah it was hard to believe, cuz it sounded so normal

davepoobond: ha

davepoobond: MWAH

OmnipotentDragun: j/k

OmnipotentDragun: I really am 17

davepoobond: no bike gang legacy?

OmnipotentDragun: nah

OmnipotentDragun: not yet atleast

OmnipotentDragun: but who knows what my future holds

davepoobond: the people in the movie Hot Leather and something else i forgot (made in 1970) were only about 18 or so

davepoobond: it was really stupid crap

davepoobond: it was funny as hell though

davepoobond: oh wait, it was “Chrome and Hot Leather”

davepoobond: made in 1971

davepoobond: On a mission of vengeance, a man goes after the gang of motorcycle thugs who killed his fiancee.

OmnipotentDragun: sounds like a laugh riot

davepoobond: it really is

davepoobond: rent it

davepoobond: as much as i love to sit on my ass and doddle with you, i really must be going

davepoobond: mother wails for me to get off

OmnipotentDragun: how old are you?

OmnipotentDragun: honestly

davepoobond: a month away from 17

OmnipotentDragun: Why speak like an infant?

OmnipotentDragun: but if you must go

davepoobond: we can continue this later

OmnipotentDragun: if you wish

OmnipotentDragun: though that may be the beginning of another story, this is the end of ours for now- Dostoevsky

OmnipotentDragun: bye

davepoobond: yes. right. bye.

davepoobond: check out www.squackle.com though, its my web site

OmnipotentDragun: no virus’?

davepoobond: i promise there’s nothing bad on it

davepoobond: and its better than porn

davepoobond: 😀

OmnipotentDragun: LIE

OmnipotentDragun: NOTHING IS BETTER THAN PORN

OmnipotentDragun: j/k

OmnipotentDragun: later man

davepoobond: bye

davepoobond: who knows, maybe you can write stuff for me for the site

OmnipotentDragun: does it pay?

davepoobond: nah

OmnipotentDragun: Maybe so then

davepoobond: just for the fame and glory of having your stuff on a web site

OmnipotentDragun: Just so long as it doesn’t pay

davepoobond: and to tell your friends “hey look, that’s MY article/story/joke/dumb thing”

OmnipotentDragun: How about portrait of genitals?

OmnipotentDragun: Would that be acceptable?

davepoobond: depends on whos

davepoobond: yours?

OmnipotentDragun: good answer

OmnipotentDragun: doesn’t matter

davepoobond: if its funny lookin, ok

davepoobond: check out the Screwed Up Chronicles. thats actually the more “serious” part of the site

davepoobond: ok bye for good now bye