Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10584: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

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stimpyismyname: blah

davepoobond: hi

stimpyismyname: i said blah not hi

stimpyismyname: theres always one person that votes for 1 on each game

stimpyismyname: arg

davepoobond: i do

stimpyismyname: all of them?

stimpyismyname: bastard

davepoobond: sure why not

stimpyismyname: why

davepoobond: why NOT

stimpyismyname: cause youre an ASSHOLE

davepoobond: lol

stimpyismyname: you vote too much

davepoobond: once…

davepoobond: for each game

stimpyismyname: you already voted for them all first

stimpyismyname: then you go back

davepoobond: no i dont

davepoobond: it saves it for you

davepoobond: you can only vote once

stimpyismyname: you flagget

stimpyismyname: thats right flagget

stimpyismyname: your a flaggie but a guy

stimpyismyname: yay bmg is 10th

davepoobond: ..

davepoobond: why are you callin me a flaggie

davepoobond: i didnt have a flag today

stimpyismyname: cause you twirl flags

stimpyismyname: and wooden guns

stimpyismyname: flagget

davepoobond: U WENT TO FAR, CUNT BUCKET

stimpyismyname: sausage fest

davepoobond: monkey turd

stimpyismyname: penis parade

davepoobond: ass circus

stimpyismyname: butt balloon

davepoobond: piss clown

stimpyismyname: gerald

davepoobond: fuk u

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10583: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

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davepoobond: watch with email capabilities!!

stimpyismyname: eh?

stimpyismyname: aol tv?

davepoobond: subject in an email

davepoobond: no, a watch

davepoobond: with email capabilites

stimpyismyname: aol tv is stupid

davepoobond: its not AOL TV…

stimpyismyname: im just sayin

davepoobond: k…

davepoobond: i’m gonna get a computer that can hook up to a TV monitor

davepoobond: and then use a big screen

davepoobond: oh yeah

stimpyismyname: not as good resolution

stimpyismyname: unless you get hd or somethin

davepoobond: that’s why i’d only use it for playing games

stimpyismyname: uh huh..

davepoobond: i’d probably go for a plasma or hd

stimpyismyname: isnt that what youd want the resolution for

davepoobond: ….

davepoobond: maybe

davepoobond: but i dont care

davepoobond: big screens rule

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs, Prank IMs

#10580: davepoobond -> dinsageofpower

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davepoobond: hey gertrude

dinsageofpower: what?

dinsageofpower: who is this?

davepoobond: its me! dave! y’know, i rented you out last night

davepoobond: and you gave me your AIM sn cause you wanted to talk to me again

dinsageofpower: THIS IS NOT A WHORE, GO AWAY

davepoobond: what the hell?

davepoobond: gertrude, don’t be messing around…

davepoobond: you’re gonna lose a customer

dinsageofpower: MY NAME IS NOT GERTRUDE FUCK DAMMIT

dinsageofpower: GO AWAY

–

He warns me to 35%.

I warn him to 49% from 19%.

–

dinsageofpower: FINE

dinsageofpower: ILL MEET U SAME PLACE 9:00

–

I warn him to 64%.

–

dinsageofpower signed off at 3:28:59 PM.

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#10579: davepoobond -> Aubaine II

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davepoobond: chuck u. farley

Aubaine II: what?

davepoobond: CHUCK U FARLEY

Aubaine II: what is that supposed to mean?

davepoobond: CHUCK.

davepoobond: U.

davepoobond: FARLEY.

Aubaine II: why are you saying that?

davepoobond: CHUCK YOU FARLEY switch the CH and F…

Aubaine II: i don’t know and charley…so why are you saying that?

davepoobond: man you’re slow

Aubaine II: yes…I am

davepoobond: FUCK YOU CHARLEY

Aubaine II: ok, I understand your saying that, but why?

davepoobond: cause i hate you and your mom

Aubaine II: I don’t know you

davepoobond: and that stops me from hating you why?

Aubaine II: I don’t know

davepoobond: :-[

Aubaine II: ?

davepoobond: :-X

Aubaine II: Indeed…

davepoobond: :'(

davepoobond: lame ass

Aubaine II: who are you?

davepoobond: kurt hamet

Aubaine II: don’t know any kurt’s

davepoobond: have you seen Pearl Harbor

Aubaine II: yes

davepoobond: did you like it

Aubaine II: it had too much of a love story, took too long to get to the main part

Aubaine II: but it was alright

davepoobond: there’s no love story…what are you talking about

davepoobond: its just a buncha kids having sex in a parachute hangar

Aubaine II: close enough…

davepoobond: and they always show the money shot

davepoobond: i bet you like those dont you

Aubaine II: money shot?

davepoobond: yeah, the cum shot

davepoobond: where they show them having the orgasm

Aubaine II: I personally thought Tora Tora Tora was a better movie on Pearl Harbor….what does this have to do with anything anyways?

davepoobond: hrmm

davepoobond: lemme think

Aubaine II: take your time

davepoobond: sorry what

Aubaine II: nevermind

davepoobond: sweet dreams of rhythm and dancing

davepoobond: sweet dreams of passion througghhh the night

davepoobond: sweet dreams are taking overrrr

davepoobond: sweet dreams of dancing through the nighhtttt!

Aubaine II: ok…

davepoobond: oh now i remember

Previous message was not received by Aubaine II because of error (5:56:15 PM): User Aubaine II is not available.

–

I tried to warn him then, but it wouldn’t allow it.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10578: davepoobond -> BubbaTyler2005

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davepoobond: bubba tylerrrr

BubbaTyler2005: who is this

davepoobond: bubba dave

BubbaTyler2005: ?

BubbaTyler2005: do i know you

davepoobond: maybe

davepoobond: we’re the same relative

BubbaTyler2005: what are you smoking

BubbaTyler2005: do i know you

BubbaTyler2005: have i seen your face

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: heehee

davepoobond: guess who i am

BubbaTyler2005: david?

davepoobond: dammit

davepoobond: what gave me away?

BubbaTyler2005: am i right

BubbaTyler2005: the dave

davepoobond: hmmm

BubbaTyler2005: david who

davepoobond: guess

BubbaTyler2005: in studyhall

davepoobond: i dont have study hall

davepoobond: well if i do, i dont know, cause i skip that everyday

BubbaTyler2005: just tell me

BubbaTyler2005: what school do you go 3

BubbaTyler2005: 2*

davepoobond: #3

BubbaTyler2005: im this close to blocking you till i find out

davepoobond: if you do you’ll get a nasty surprise

davepoobond: mwahahahaha

BubbaTyler2005: ?

BubbaTyler2005: tell me in 5

BubbaTyler2005: 4

BubbaTyler2005: 3

BubbaTyler2005: 2

BubbaTyler2005: 1

davepoobond: Greenwood

davepoobond: :-\

BubbaTyler2005: what school do you go to

davepoobond: told uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

BubbaTyler2005: greenwood

davepoobond: y eah

davepoobond: y e a h

BubbaTyler2005: what state do you live in

davepoobond: Greenland

BubbaTyler2005: brb

davepoobond: i bet you just said that so i wouldnt say anything anymore

davepoobond: you dont even have your away message on

davepoobond: even more reason why i shouldnt believe you are “brb”

davepoobond: but your wrongggg

BubbaTyler2005: k back

BubbaTyler2005: what?

BubbaTyler2005: how old are you?

davepoobond: 45

BubbaTyler2005: and are you gay?

davepoobond: WHAT GIVES YOU THAT IDEA

BubbaTyler2005: your screen name

BubbaTyler2005: dave POO

davepoobond: ….

davepoobond: and that makes me gay how

davepoobond: are you saying poo is a gay word?

BubbaTyler2005: yes

BubbaTyler2005: your not 45

davepoobond: i meant 13

davepoobond: or was it 31

BubbaTyler2005: if your 31 you have no life at all

BubbaTyler2005: talking to strangers

BubbaTyler2005: that are male

davepoobond: so are you

davepoobond: so i guess that means your gay

BubbaTyler2005: your the one who started talking to me and im not 31

BubbaTyler2005: lmao

BubbaTyler2005: or a flaming hommo

davepoobond: hommo

davepoobond: hommmo

davepoobond: hommmmmmmmmmmmo

davepoobond: 8989898

davepoobond: 321654987

davepoobond: 0

davepoobond: har har

BubbaTyler2005: ok im leaving now

davepoobond: k bye

BubbaTyler2005: peace out

davepoobond: hi

–

I warn him to 35%.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10577: davepoobond -> BtownsBlueAngel

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davepoobond: then there was youuuuuuuuu

davepoobond: and everything went from wrong to right

davepoobond: and the stars came up and filled up the sky

davepoobond: it was love at first site

BtownsBlueAngel: who tha hell is this

davepoobond: ……………..kylie minogue

davepoobond: who that hell is that

BtownsBlueAngel: ?

davepoobond: u

davepoobond: !!

BtownsBlueAngel: um…………..ok dude

davepoobond: die die die my darling

BtownsBlueAngel: When someone loves you, they will try and do anyhting for you. They will help you in anyway. If you send this to 11 people something good will happen to you at 10:00 o ‘clock tomorrow morning

davepoobond: why would i send that to anyone

BtownsBlueAngel: i dunno… who is this

davepoobond: i told you

davepoobond: kylie minogue

BtownsBlueAngel: a/s/l

davepoobond: 34/bi/NY

BtownsBlueAngel: um..ok

davepoobond: u

BtownsBlueAngel: 17/f/alabama

davepoobond: you’re close but no cigar

davepoobond: i dont wanna hear ittt

BtownsBlueAngel: uh..ok

davepoobond: and i wont waste my time fitting innnnnn

davepoobond: cause i dont think something something

davepoobond: lame

davepoobond: have you seen Pearl Harbor

BtownsBlueAngel: yes

davepoobond: did you liiiiike it

BtownsBlueAngel: sure

davepoobond: fly away on my zephyr, we’re gonna live foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

davepoobond: forever!

BtownsBlueAngel: ok dude

davepoobond: ok

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10574: davepoobond -> crummyBJ69

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I was acting like a porn bot, sending a link to Squackle as “quality porn”

–

davepoobond: Quality Porn! GO NOW!

crummyBJ69: who is this

davepoobond: i’m a bot, don’t talk to me

davepoobond: har har har

davepoobond: see, i’m laughing at you

davepoobond: and that’s a computer laugh

davepoobond: hello are you there

davepoobond: did you go

–

After a while, I warn him to 5%.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10573: SR71 Steve -> davepoobond

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SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: bye

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

SR71 Steve: i bid thee farewell

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: i thank you for your kind greeting!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: GO TO HELL YOU MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!!!!!

SR71 Steve: erm

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINGGGGGG

davepoobond: JUST TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

davepoobond: TRY TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

SR71 Steve: for a kondike bar!

davepoobond: SOMEHOW I CANT PUT YOU IN THE PAST

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINNGGG

davepoobond: JUST TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOU

davepoobond: WILL YOU REMEMBER ME?

SR71 Steve: Kill yourself

davepoobond: CAUSE I KNOW I WONT FORGET YOUUUUUU

SR71 Steve: no

davepoobond: TOGETHER WE BROKE ALL THE RULES

SR71 Steve: who the hell r u?

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: DREAMING OF DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL

davepoobond: dadadada

davepoobond: I’LL BE HERE I’LL BE WAITING

davepoobond: THIS COULD BE THE ONE LAST CHANCE TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND

SR71 Steve: ummmmm bacon is cool

SR71 Steve: unlike your mom

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINGGGGG FOR YOU

davepoobond: TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

SR71 Steve: oh, u go skoolled

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTTHINNGGG FOR YOU

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: JUST TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOU

davepoobond: i close my eyes

davepoobond: and all i see is you

davepoobond: i close my eyesss

davepoobond: i try to sleep i cant forget you

davepoobond: na na na na na na

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: and i’d do anythiNGGGgg for youuuu

davepoobond: nanananaaaaaaaaa

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

davepoobond: JUST TO HOLD IN YOU IN MY ARMS

davepoobond: TRY TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

davepoobond: CAUSE SOMEHOW I CANT PUT YOU IN THE PAST

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINGGGGG

SR71 Steve: meatloaf is the food of gods

davepoobond: JUST TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOUUUUUUU

davepoobond: YEAHHHH

SR71 Steve: ok, i go bye now

SR71 Steve: off the overthrow the prince of fruitloops

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: bye

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: 😀

Previous message was not received by SR71 Steve because of error: User SR71 Steve is not available.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10572: davepoobond -> OdinForever

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davepoobond: do you know where i can find spock

OdinForever: go downstairs and then the second door to the right

davepoobond: ah…

davepoobond: but that doesnt make sense

davepoobond: i dont have any doors

OdinForever: umm

OdinForever: then take a left

OdinForever: then a left

OdinForever: and repeat the cycle

davepoobond: but then i’ll go left forever

OdinForever: pretty much

davepoobond: what would that accomplish

OdinForever: spock

davepoobond: i wouldn’t find spock

davepoobond: i need an address

davepoobond: hellooooo

OdinForever: who is spock and who are you

davepoobond: YOU DONT KNOW WHO SPOCK IS

OdinForever: does he sell weed?!?

davepoobond: …..yes…..

davepoobond: 😀

OdinForever: I like spock

OdinForever: lets go on a pilgramage to find spock

davepoobond: ok where do we start

OdinForever: …second door to the right

davepoobond: i dont have that many doors ok

OdinForever: first door then?

davepoobond: just my front door, back door

davepoobond: side door

davepoobond: ceiling door

davepoobond: ground door

davepoobond: barbecue door

davepoobond: and my dresser drawer door

OdinForever: dresser drawer then. Alice in Wonderland style

OdinForever: just drink the solution

OdinForever: and we’ll shrink

davepoobond: ok whee look i shrunk

OdinForever: told ya!

OdinForever: and now to find the Cheshire Cat

OdinForever: he always helped alice out

davepoobond: i hate that fag. i’m gonna kill him

OdinForever: well if he’s dead we cant find Spock now can we?!

OdinForever: now chill out

davepoobond: HES DEAD

OdinForever: dont make me use my valium pills on U

davepoobond: oh no

davepoobond: not htat

davepoobond: that

davepoobond: hat

davepoobond: hate

davepoobond: that

OdinForever: dont stop there!

OdinForever: is that the best you can do

davepoobond: kinda

davepoobond: i’m sorry

OdinForever: pitiful

davepoobond: yeah it was

OdinForever: do I know U by any chance

davepoobond: maybe

OdinForever: possibly maybe?

OdinForever: I didn’t think so

davepoobond: possibly sublety maybe

OdinForever: how very Bjork of you

davepoobond: yes aint it

OdinForever: so how are we doing with finding Spock?

davepoobond: y’know, you coulda just told me the next starwars convention

davepoobond: where it was and such

davepoobond: since your common interest is science fiction

OdinForever: its Star Trek buddy

davepoobond: i knew that

davepoobond: wait…i didnt

OdinForever: and I dont like Star Trek at all its gay

davepoobond: wasn’t spock that hairy guy

davepoobond: that was always like “haaaaarr”

OdinForever: umm I dont know but I know he has pointy ears

OdinForever: who uses “buddy find wizard” nowadays anyway?

davepoobond: i do

OdinForever: im sorry

davepoobond: :-[

OdinForever: thats very crazy of you, ya’know

OdinForever: using buddy find wizard

OdinForever: just dont ever do it again and I forgive you

OdinForever: dammit I need to smoke more weed

davepoobond: i can see i picked the wrong guy with “odin” in his screen name today

OdinForever: wut did U expect, a chat about Star Trek?

OdinForever: no thanks

OdinForever: odin is a god BTW

davepoobond: yeah kinda…

davepoobond: i know that

davepoobond: i played FF8

davepoobond: doy

OdinForever: I loved ff8

OdinForever: was he in 8?

OdinForever: I dont remember

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: he appeared randomly

OdinForever: oh thats right

davepoobond: and chopped the shit out of the enemies

OdinForever: and he slashed with his house

OdinForever: horse

OdinForever: yeah

OdinForever: 8 was probly my second favorite

OdinForever: next to 10

davepoobond: yeah

OdinForever: 9 was overrated

davepoobond: but it was still good

OdinForever: yeah it was

–

The rest isn’t funny.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10571: davepoobond -> NeoRamsay

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davepoobond: Alec

NeoRamsay: hello?

davepoobond: hi

NeoRamsay: and who would you be?

davepoobond: dave

davepoobond: 423 Alabama Blvd, Los Angeles California

davepoobond: and you

NeoRamsay: tampa florida, and that’s the closest i’ll tell unless i have reason to otherwise, no offense

davepoobond: i told you my exact address man

davepoobond: wtf

davepoobond: you asked me who i was

davepoobond: and i told you everything that you wanted to know

davepoobond: and you only tell me your city

davepoobond: geez

davepoobond: now you’re probably gonna molest me

NeoRamsay: i asked who you were in referese to finding out if i knew you, you volunteered that info all on your own

davepoobond: HOW DID I KNOW THAT

NeoRamsay: i dunno, but i guess you assumed otherwise didnt you

davepoobond: yeah i guess so

NeoRamsay: i was just wondering if i should have known who i was talking to already or if this was someone new who got my SN off the net somewheres 😉

davepoobond: =-O

davepoobond: :'(

NeoRamsay: i do appologize if i started off wrong… its just usualy the random IMs i get nowadays are people off of the forums i frequent looking for me to send them something or another….

davepoobond: unh hunh..