Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

#10602: davepoobond -> HazMatt911

davepoobond: HEY bud-dy!

HazMatt911: who r u

davepoobond: Pauly Shore

HazMatt911 signed off at 3:14:18 PM.

I sign on to a different screen name.

davepoobond: GERTRUDE! IS THAT YOUUUUU??

davepoobond: =-O

HazMatt911: who r u

davepoobond: you dont remember me?

HazMatt911: no

davepoobond: its Sally!

HazMatt911: sally who

davepoobond: Sally Struthers

HazMatt911: who is that

davepoobond: …me…

davepoobond: gerty….

davepoobond: hello?

davepoobond: HELLO

davepoobond: HELLOO

davepoobond: HELLO

davepoobond: HELLO

davepoobond: HELLO

davepoobond: HELLO

HazMatt911 signed off at 3:19:54 PM.

#10601: HazMatt911 -> MadManWithAnAxe

HazMatt911: back

MadManWithAnAxe: ummm….hi

MadManWithAnAxe: You might like this (its a link to dolphinsex.com)

HazMatt911: u jerk

MadManWithAnAxe: WHAT?

HazMatt911: do u play

HazMatt911: do u

MadManWithAnAxe: ummm……sure

HazMatt911: u wear boxers

MadManWithAnAxe: ummmm….sure

HazMatt911: how big is pole

MadManWithAnAxe: umm…..around 2″ to 2 1/2″

HazMatt911: that is how big ur dick is

MadManWithAnAxe: approximately

HazMatt911: how tall r u

MadManWithAnAxe: i already told you 2′ 6″

HazMatt911: k

MadManWithAnAxe: i can barely reach the keyboard

MadManWithAnAxe: hello?

HazMatt911: hey

MadManWithAnAxe: i like putting things in my butt!

HazMatt911: great

MadManWithAnAxe: I think i love you

MadManWithAnAxe: i wanna have your children

MadManWithAnAxe: FINE!

MadManWithAnAxe: i guess we can never be together

MadManWithAnAxe: i thought we had something special, you and me

MadManWithAnAxe: but i guess it was all just a game!

MadManWithAnAxe: Why?!?!?

#10600: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: im a firestarter

davepoobond: ?

stimpyismyname: twisted firestarter

stimpyismyname: mmmm

stimpyismyname: oh oh oh ohoh

stimpyismyname: mmm

stimpyismyname: oh oh h ohoh

stimpyismyname: daaaaave im boooored

davepoobond: go to hell then

stimpyismyname: NO

davepoobond: look at the stuff i put on squackle

stimpyismyname: YOU GO TO HELL

stimpyismyname: ASSHOLE

stimpyismyname: AZZHOLE

stimpyismyname: A22HOLE

#10598: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: boooo

stimpyismyname: tainted looove

stimpyismyname: wo whoooa whoa

stimpyismyname: bum bum

stimpyismyname: I…

stimpyismyname: i just died in your arms tonight!!

stimpyismyname: da da da rains down in afffrica

stimpyismyname: and theres always somethin there to remind meeeeeeee

stimpyismyname: daund

stimpyismyname: fbduase

stimpyismyname: hb

stimpyismyname: that stupid cd

#10596: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

blowthetoad: michael jackson is a white n*gger, what does that make you?

davepoobond: your mom

davepoobond: oh HOOOO

davepoobond: got you there.

blowthetoad: oh man

blowthetoad: that was harsh

blowthetoad: :-[

blowthetoad: i can play his beats on a bass, so uh…… wipe my ass

davepoobond: so what

davepoobond: that’s simple

blowthetoad: so i can play bass better than you

blowthetoad: and your mom

davepoobond: unh hunh..

blowthetoad: 😎

blowthetoad: man….. i can even play the friggin’ pokemon theme song on bass

davepoobond: can you play metallica?

davepoobond: thought not

blowthetoad: yes

davepoobond: sure sure

blowthetoad: yes i can

blowthetoad: slowly……

davepoobond: unhh hunnhhhh

blowthetoad: but i can

blowthetoad: i play battery inc

davepoobond: that’s pretty sad that you bought a bass just because i do

blowthetoad: no

blowthetoad: ive had it

blowthetoad: since i was what, 12?

davepoobond: sure ya did

blowthetoad: does your mom lean her head sideways when she eats a hamburger?

blowthetoad: and then the patty falls out the other end and blames you for it

blowthetoad: haha

davepoobond: no, she’s not like your mom. everyone doesnt have to be like someone in your family

blowthetoad: atleast i can play master of puppets

blowthetoad: booyeah

davepoobond: at least i can play pretty fly for a white guy

blowthetoad: at least i can play ice ice baby

blowthetoad: no man, that has good beats

davepoobond: i can do that 10folds better than you

blowthetoad: the guitar beta in the back is sick

blowthetoad: you dont even know what a fold is

davepoobond: yeah i do

blowthetoad: regardless, let a lone the number 10

blowthetoad: whats a fold smarty

blowthetoad: mcfarty

davepoobond: times

blowthetoad: Smarty McFarty

blowthetoad: haha

davepoobond: idiot

blowthetoad: i made a funny 😎

blowthetoad: i play slow songs fast

davepoobond: i’m done talking to you blowthetoad

davepoobond: so go away

blowthetoad: ok, i am not blow the fucking toad

davepoobond: sure you are

blowthetoad: im past that stage

davepoobond: unh hunh

blowthetoad: waaaaaaaaay past it

davepoobond: sure ya are

blowthetoad: like, past XKP’S POKEMON PAGE

blowthetoad: member that shit yo?

blowthetoad: it was PHAT

davepoobond: dont need to

blowthetoad: i just like the gamebody games

blowthetoad: the old ones

blowthetoad: other than the show, cards, comics, and the merchandise, pokémon is really gay

blowthetoad: hey, i got more talent in html for your information

davepoobond: i bet you have sex with the pikachu oversized cards, what are you talking about

blowthetoad: www.brandonism.tk

blowthetoad: not sex man…… LOVE

davepoobond: is that you on all the pictures

blowthetoad: =-O! you are pretty smart

blowthetoad: just check out my dog man….

blowthetoad: and my room

blowthetoad: WITH NO TV!!

blowthetoad: 🙁

blowthetoad: check out ‘myteeth.jpg’

blowthetoad: just got my braces off

blowthetoad: AND YOU CAN SEE MY FACE

blowthetoad: god dammit

blowthetoad: hey, im good at photoshop

blowthetoad: if you need photoshop skills…….

blowthetoad: come to me

blowthetoad: brandon harris

blowthetoad: not blowthetoad

blowthetoad: now when i go back to squackle i see how stupid i looked

blowthetoad: when i was 12

davepoobond: hallelujah, its an epiphany

davepoobond: make a flash card outta that

blowthetoad: www.geocities.com/bism28/pics/jtbg.jpg

blowthetoad: click that when i say so

blowthetoad: sure its justin timberlake, but i made it for my girlfriend and it looks good

blowthetoad: its a background

blowthetoad: for the 1024×768 resolutions

blowthetoad: its still uploading

blowthetoad: dont click it yet

blowthetoad: <—-56k

blowthetoad: ok click it

blowthetoad: www.geocities.com/bism28/pics/jtbg.jpg

blowthetoad: my g/f likes it, you will too

blowthetoad: i think

blowthetoad: pretend it’s peewee herman, not justin timberlake

blowthetoad: its not him, its the skills

blowthetoad: www.geocities.com/bism28/pics/jtbg.jpg

blowthetoad: www.geocities.com/bism28/pics/jtbg.jpg

blowthetoad: www.geocities.com/bism28/pics/jtbg.jpg

blowthetoad: www.geocities.com/bism28/pics/jtbg.jpg

blowthetoad: www.geocities.com/bism28/pics/jtbg.jpg

blowthetoad: rate it

davepoobond: ur page shut down foo

blowthetoad: 1-10

blowthetoad: what

blowthetoad wants to directly connect.

blowthetoad: aim is more reliable

davepoobond declines request; no connection was made.

blowthetoad: argh

davepoobond: its ok

davepoobond: i saw it

blowthetoad: alright

blowthetoad: what do you think

davepoobond: “why the hell would you make it” comes to mind

blowthetoad: well, mainly because i was extremely bored, and it was a request

davepoobond: when i’m bored i go to sleep, i dont make a collage of justin timberlake

blowthetoad: LOL

blowthetoad: that’s true………….

blowthetoad: but my girlfriend requested it man

blowthetoad: im not gonna fart in her face and go to bed

blowthetoad: but i wasnt tired, and it helps my portfolio

blowthetoad: maybe some gay single parent may want to pay me to make a collage of stone phillips….. who knows, he has money

blowthetoad: where did you register squackle.com?

#10593: Zephendroyd1 -> davepoobond

Zephendroyd1: hi davepoobond

davepoobond: hi..

Zephendroyd1: is squackle poobond?

davepoobond: ?

Zephendroyd1: is squackle poobond?

davepoobond: what are you talkin about

Zephendroyd1: hi

davepoobond: hi

Zephendroyd1: nupes.com?

davepoobond: no.

davepoobond: www.squackle.com …..

Zephendroyd1: hey davepoobond

davepoobond: hey zephendroyd1

davepoobond: what do you want

Zephendroyd1: plz give autograph

davepoobond: no

Zephendroyd1: y?

davepoobond: its too expensive to give away for free

Zephendroyd1: PLZ GIVE PLZ NUPES

Zephendroyd1: PLZ GIVE SNUPES AUTOG

Zephendroyd1: GIVE AUTOG

davepoobond: :-!

Zephendroyd1: do you know adam

davepoobond: adam who

Zephendroyd1: the adam who you know

Zephendroyd1: adam nupes

davepoobond: i suppose…

Zephendroyd1: who adam nupes?

davepoobond: i dont know

Zephendroyd1: hi

davepoobond: whats his sn

davepoobond: bye

Zephendroyd1: his sn is gemini

davepoobond: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

davepoobond: i remember now

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: i dont know him

davepoobond: sorry

davepoobond: go eat some custard

davepoobond: with some mustard

Zephendroyd1: dave do you remember that food with the white

davepoobond: and leave me alone

davepoobond: and go to talk on the phone

Zephendroyd1: nupes

Zephendroyd1: what is ur #?

davepoobond: 1-800-444-4444

Zephendroyd1: squackle poobond?

Zephendroyd1: hi

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: are you gonna call me?

davepoobond: i’m standing by my phone

Zephendroyd1: nopes to the nupes

davepoobond: comon, i cant leave my phone lines open all day

Zephendroyd1: ?

davepoobond: call me….

Zephendroyd1: I CANT CALL

davepoobond: my number is 1-800-444-4444

Zephendroyd1: CANT

davepoobond: WHY NOT

davepoobond: WHY NOT

Zephendroyd1: B?C IM AT COMPUTE LAB

davepoobond: so what

davepoobond: dont be a puss

davepoobond: schools have phones

Zephendroyd1: I HVE NOT A PHONE

davepoobond: say you’re callin your mom

Zephendroyd1: NEARBY

davepoobond: DONT BE A PUSS

davepoobond: GET UP AND WALK TO ONE

Zephendroyd1: I CANT CALL OF

Zephendroyd1: CANT CALL OF

davepoobond: YES YOU CAN

Zephendroyd1: CANT CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

davepoobond: YES YOU CANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Zephendroyd1: omg stink

Zephendroyd1: omg stink putezy

davepoobond signed off at 7:16:24 PM.

Zephendroyd1: omg stink putezy

Previous message was not received by davepoobond because of error: User davepoobond is not available.

davepoobond signed on at 7:16:45 PM.

Zephendroyd1: hi

davepoobond: give me the IM we had

Zephendroyd1: for squackle?

davepoobond: yeah

Zephendroyd1: wiz00t

Zephendroyd1: <~~~celebrity

Zephendroyd1: =]

davepoobond: stupid AIM had an error

Zephendroyd1: hi

Zephendroyd1: k i have all the messg

Zephendroyd1: plz give a brief paragraph on why you like trix cereal

davepoobond: the extremely fruity flavor gives the tastebuds a world of tastes in one simple bite of flavored corn smothered in milk.

davepoobond: that’s 3 sentences which is one paragraph

Zephendroyd1: ^_^ k YU GET TEXT>NUPES

davepoobond: k…

Zephendroyd1 wants to send file Nupes.txt.

Zephendroyd1: accept poobond!

Zephendroyd1: accept poobond!

davepoobond received Nupes.txt.

Zephendroyd1: ACCEPT OR NO GET

Zephendroyd1: KK THX

davepoobond: thanks..

#10592: MadManWithAnAxe -> davepoobond

MadManWithAnAxe: well, well, well

davepoobond: eh eh eh?

MadManWithAnAxe: look what the cat dragged in

MadManWithAnAxe: if it isn’t mister slap-happy himself

davepoobond: look what your MOM dragged in

davepoobond: hahaha

MadManWithAnAxe: awwwwwwww

MadManWithAnAxe: :'( you can be so cruel sometimes, davey

davepoobond: sorry

MadManWithAnAxe: it’s ok

MadManWithAnAxe: i know what it feels like to be anally raped by my father….wait…no i don’t…sorry, i can’t help you

davepoobond: hmm

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m sorry, i’m all out of bananas

#10591: MadManWithAnAxe -> davepoobond

MadManWithAnAxe: well, well, well

davepoobond: hi

MadManWithAnAxe: well?

davepoobond: well what

MadManWithAnAxe: i was hoping you knew

davepoobond: well i dont

MadManWithAnAxe: so…i have found your weakness

davepoobond: darn

davepoobond: :-$

MadManWithAnAxe: :-X

MadManWithAnAxe: i implore you to reconsider

davepoobond: what

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

#10586: CapnChubby -> davepoobond

CapnChubby: hahahhahhahahah hello kitty is japajanaesese

davepoobond: yeah..

CapnChubby: it rhymes with chinese

CapnChubby: like chinese food

CapnChubby: from the dollar store

CapnChubby: i bought it

CapnChubby: it was

CapnChubby: ummm

CapnChubby: a dollar

davepoobond: heh

CapnChubby: i think

CapnChubby: with the economics all screwed up, the dollar stores will either gain a lot of money because of low affordable prices, or go out of business because of lack of funding and high prices from inflation

CapnChubby: but they also have hair dye which surprised me and made me want to be a goth again

davepoobond: heh

End of IMs5.

#10585: HardcoreNothing2 -> davepoobond

HardcoreNothing2: moo cow like me smell

davepoobond: hi

HardcoreNothing2: chessy croup

HardcoreNothing2: I almost forgot about, (he links to some virus site)

HardcoreNothing2: hi

davepoobond: hi

HardcoreNothing2: group*

HardcoreNothing2: are you stupider then um…squirrels on crack

davepoobond: why

HardcoreNothing2: just wondering

HardcoreNothing2: cause the garden gnomes told me you were

HardcoreNothing2: and so did the gay little penguins runnin around in my house

davepoobond: great

HardcoreNothing2: hey you dont find me amusing

HardcoreNothing2: fine then

HardcoreNothing2: dot put this conversaion on your site

HardcoreNothing2: mr squacle dot com

davepoobond: why not

davepoobond: its pretty stupid

davepoobond: and you are too

davepoobond: har har

HardcoreNothing2: i know im stupid you cheese face

davepoobond: ohhh burnnn

HardcoreNothing2: <3 )~~~~ thats a mouse

davepoobond: great

HardcoreNothing2: you big granola doorknob

HardcoreNothing2: you should go kiss a miss with a diss and the hiss at the blyss thatkills your wrist

This was probably blowthetoad, but I have no idea, really.