#10997: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: =-O

stimpyismyname: 😎

stimpyismyname: 😉

stimpyismyname: :-[

stimpyismyname: :-*

stimpyismyname: :-\

stimpyismyname: 😀

stimpyismyname: O:-)

stimpyismyname: :'(

stimpyismyname: 😉

stimpyismyname: 🙁

stimpyismyname: 😛

stimpyismyname: 🙂

stimpyismyname: 😎

stimpyismyname: =-O

stimpyismyname: :-$

davepoobond: oh hi

davepoobond: i didn’t see you

davepoobond: there

davepoobond: how are you

stimpyismyname: im wonderful

 

#10996: davepoobond -> wenonahgurl

davepoobond: NO, YOU SUCK

wenonahgurl: i think you’re confused

davepoobond: I THINK YOU’RE CONFUSED

wenonahgurl: why is that?

davepoobond: WHY IS THAT?

wenonahgurl: why am i confused you imd me

davepoobond: BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU’RE AN IDIOT

davepoobond: DO YOU LIKE PORN

davepoobond: I LIKE PORN

davepoobond: I HAVE 5 GIGS OF PORN

wenonahgurl: i figured

davepoobond: HOW

davepoobond: IS IT A MATHEMATICAL EQUATION

davepoobond: I WOULDN’T KNOW BECAUSE I DROPPED OUT IN KINDERGARTEN

wenonahgurl: seemed like you’d be the type

davepoobond: YEAH WELL YOU KNOW US DRUGGIES THAT’VE BEEN SMOKIN SINCE WE WERE 5

wenonahgurl: intersting

wenonahgurl: but good to know

wenonahgurl: so what else do you like doing besides smoking up and jacking off

wenonahgurl: to pron

wenonahgurl: porn*

wenonahgurl: sorry

davepoobond: I LIKE TO KNOCK OFF LIQUOR STORES AND STEAL THE PORN THERE

wenonahgurl: sounds like good fun

davepoobond: YEAH

wenonahgurl: are you in school

davepoobond: NO I TOLD YOU I DROPPED OUT IN GRADE K

davepoobond: COULDN’T TAKE THE PRESSURE OF SITTING IN A SQUARE ON THE BIG RUG

wenonahgurl: oh right i forgot

wenonahgurl: can imagine the difficulties you had with that

davepoobond: ITS KINDA HARD

davepoobond: MOM NEVER TAUGHT ME ABOUT SHAPES

wenonahgurl: the floor or something else?? 😉

davepoobond: I THOUGHT A SQUARE WAS A CIRCLE

davepoobond: AND A CIRCLE WAS A TRIANGLE

davepoobond: SO THAT PRETTY MUCH MADE A SQUARE A TRIANGLE

davepoobond: OR A TRIANGLE A SQUARE

davepoobond: FUCKED UP AIN’T IT

davepoobond: THEY ALSO TAUGHT ME THE COLORS WRONG

davepoobond: THEY SAID RED WAS YELLOW

davepoobond: GREEN WAS PINK

wenonahgurl: im soooo sorry

davepoobond: IT PUT ME ON MEDICINES I SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN TAKING

davepoobond: I’M HALF-PAST DEAD RIGHT ABOUT NOW

davepoobond: I’M ON DISABILITY

wenonahgurl: gotcha

wenonahgurl: i can see that now

davepoobond: ALL I DO IS EAT WHEAT PRODUCTS, TRISCUITS AND FROOT LOOPS

davepoobond: AND SIT ON WHAT IS LEFT OF MY ASS AFTER THE OPERATION

davepoobond: CAUSE I WAS IN NAM

davepoobond: OR I THOUGHT I WAS

davepoobond: AND SOMEHOW MY TORSO WAS BLOWN OFF

wenonahgurl: are you high now???

wenonahgurl: that would explain a lot

davepoobond: NO, I’M OFF THAT. NOW I EAT JAM

wenonahgurl: really?

davepoobond: YEAH

davepoobond: JAM IS GOOD

davepoobond: AND ITS HEALTHY

davepoobond: I GET JAM FOR FREE

wenonahgurl: from where?

davepoobond: CAUSE SMUCKERS PUT ME ON THEIR “GIVE FREE JAM TO” LIST

davepoobond: YOU HAVE TO BE SPECIAL, LIKE ME

wenonahgurl: oh gotcha

davepoobond: SMUCKERS MAKES GOOD JAM

davepoobond: I ONLY EAT TWO THINGS. JAM AND PUDDING

wenonahgurl: interesting

davepoobond: JELLO CHARGES ME A LITTLE LESS THAN HALF PRICE, THOSE BASTARDS

davepoobond: ITS HARD BUYING THINGS ON DISABILITY

davepoobond: I CAN’T KEEP MY ESCALADE PAYMENTS ROLLING IF I GOTTA PAY HALF PRICE OF PUDDING

wenonahgurl: really?

davepoobond: NOW YOU MAY ASK HOW I DRIVE

davepoobond: I DONT

davepoobond: I HIRE SOME GUY

davepoobond: FROM A FANCY BUTLER STORE

wenonahgurl: nice

davepoobond: HE COSTS 200 DOLLARS A DRIVE

davepoobond: AND HE MAKES ME LOOK DAMN GOOD

davepoobond: I USUALLY GET THIS GUY NAMED EDWARD. HE’S A BRITISH GUY

davepoobond: BUT WHEN I’M GOING DOWN TO THE GHETTO PART OF BEVERLY HILLS (THAT’S WHERE I LIVE), I USUALLY HIRE A BIG FAT BLACK GUY

davepoobond: OR A SKINNY MEXICAN

wenonahgurl: gotcha

davepoobond: boo

wenonahgurl: hi again

davepoobond: again?

davepoobond: i just got on

wenonahgurl: we already talked???

wenonahgurl: remember?

davepoobond: i saw you on my buddy list so i thought i knew you

davepoobond: i dont think i do

wenonahgurl: i figured

davepoobond: was someone else talking to you

wenonahgurl: yeah why?

davepoobond: was he talking about Darrel talking about his miseducation again?

davepoobond: i swear, it was a mistake to let him keep his arms

wenonahgurl: no bu what are you talking about

davepoobond: there’s this guy, right

davepoobond: his name is Darrel

davepoobond: he’s a stupid fag

wenonahgurl: gotcha

davepoobond: all he does is whine and complain

wenonahgurl: and who’s this then

davepoobond: so last week i cut his legs off and tossed him in the basement

davepoobond: but i guess he made his way to the computer

davepoobond: my name is Pierre

Previous message was not received by wenonahgurl because of error (8:24:40 PM): User wenonahgurl is not available.

 

#10995: davepoobond -> anGeL 706888

davepoobond: I’M A NORMAL GUY HI

anGeL 706888: HI

davepoobond: I LIKE TO TALK IN ALL CAPS IS THAT OK

davepoobond: BECAUSE I’M AN IDIOT

davepoobond: AND I DONT LIKE IT WHEN THE PRETTY CAPS LOCK LIGHT IS OFF

anGeL 706888: OOO IT’S OK! DONT WORRY ABOUT IT

davepoobond: YOU LIKE TOO TOOOO?

anGeL 706888: SURE WHY NOT

davepoobond: I THINK I’M IN LOVE

anGeL 706888: WITH WHO?1

davepoobond: UUUU

anGeL 706888: NO WAY!

davepoobond: YES WAY

anGeL 706888: I’M IN LOVE WITH ME TOO

davepoobond: TOTALLY

anGeL 706888: LIKE AWESOME

davepoobond: TOTALLY AWESOME

anGeL 706888: LIKE KOOL BEANS

davepoobond: RADICAL BITCHEIN

anGeL 706888: RUFUS

davepoobond: RUFY

anGeL 706888: NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!

anGeL 706888: DON’T TOUCH ME THERE

davepoobond: THAT’S TOO BAD

anGeL 706888: TOUCH ME HERE

davepoobond: HI I’M NORMAL

anGeL 706888: HI I’M AMBER

davepoobond: AMBER IS A SEXY NAME

anGeL 706888: THANK YOU

davepoobond: I WANNA JACK OFF RIGHT NOW TO IT BUT I CAN’T

anGeL 706888: WHY?

davepoobond: CAUSE MY LOWER TORSO WAS BLOWN OFF IN NAM

anGeL 706888: OOO OK

anGeL 706888: DAMN

 

#10993: davepoobond -> Automatic Man

davepoobond: man oh man you missed a lot at physics today

Automatic Man: im sure

Automatic Man: how was it?

davepoobond: ap wasn’t there either

davepoobond: so it was kinda boring

Automatic Man: lol

Automatic Man: sux for you

davepoobond: you are an intricate part of the table

Automatic Man: du hasst mich

Automatic Man: i know

Automatic Man: you didnt have to say that i knew it already

Automatic Man signed off at 7:26 PM

 

#10992: davepoobond -> Soup Nazi

This was in the year 2003.

davepoobond: oh man, next year’s SATs are gonna SUCK

Soup Nazi: eh?

davepoobond: there’s gonna be 3 sections

davepoobond: and an essay

davepoobond: and the score is gonna be 2400

davepoobond: no more analogies either

Soup Nazi: wowie zowie

Soup Nazi: but it don’t matter for us

davepoobond: yeah i know

davepoobond: we can’t compare with the scores then

davepoobond: with our scores

Soup Nazi: so?

davepoobond: cause its pretty much a different test

Soup Nazi: who…cares?

davepoobond: i can’t rub my score in my sister’s face

Soup Nazi: soo..?

davepoobond: and i can’t say what my score is to my children ::sob::

Soup Nazi: just figure out a mathmatic formula to convert it

davepoobond: i didn’t write an essay though

Soup Nazi: Yeah well

davepoobond: you can’t really convert it

Soup Nazi: take it again if you want then

davepoobond: hell no

 

#10991: davepoobond -> manceman

davepoobond: faaaackk

manceman: what?

davepoobond: tim probably won’t be at school tomorrow

davepoobond: and we have next wednesday off

davepoobond: teacher sell back day

davepoobond: last time they had a buy back day

davepoobond: next wednesday its sell back day

davepoobond: har har har

manceman: haha

manceman: so whats the problem?

davepoobond: aahhh

davepoobond: did i tell you tim’s not gonna be at school tomorrow probably

manceman: so?

davepoobond: aaahhhhhhhh

manceman: i dont get it?

davepoobond: you’re damn right

davepoobond: you dont get a lotta things

davepoobond: like ass, is probably the #1 thing

manceman: ya from guys fag

davepoobond: =-O

 

#10962: davepoobond -> MadManWithAnAxe

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Dave's Phone Number?

davepoobond: why’d you call me

MadManWithAnAxe: I didn’t

davepoobond: how did you even get my number

MadManWithAnAxe: Was it really your number?

davepoobond: yeah…

MadManWithAnAxe: it got an error thing

davepoobond: oh

MadManWithAnAxe: 523 848 0334

MadManWithAnAxe: that’s not it, is it?

davepoobond: it is

davepoobond: actually it isn’t, i was just jerkin your chain. ha ha ha oh boy.

MadManWithAnAxe: heh heh heh, I’ll leave that message out of my conversation with btt

davepoobond: k. you dont have my sn sending to him do you

davepoobond: i’m guessing you did

davepoobond: since stimpyismyname just sent it back to me

MadManWithAnAxe: I copied what you said

 

#10961: blowthetoad -> stimpyismyname

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series Dave's Phone Number?

blowthetoad: eh whats dave’s phone number

blowthetoad: me and madmanwithanaxe would love to know it

stimpyismyname: 523 848 0334

stimpyismyname: …oh shit

blowthetoad: are you serious?

stimpyismyname: no

stimpyismyname: dont dial it

blowthetoad: 848 0334 is a bakery in atlanta

blowthetoad: you’ve betrayed me

stimpyismyname: heh

blowthetoad: >:o

blowthetoad: wait…. you did say he worked in a bakery

blowthetoad: does he live in atlanta now?

stimpyismyname: maaaaybe

blowthetoad: maaaaybe not? 🙁

stimpyismyname: ask for john

blowthetoad: omg it worked

stimpyismyname: cool

stimpyismyname: whatd he say

blowthetoad: “yeah who’s this?”

blowthetoad: and i was like “blowtheto… er… your mom”

blowthetoad: then giggled like a school girl and hung up

stimpyismyname: heh

stimpyismyname: you fool

blowthetoad: fool im not

blowthetoad: you believed me

blowthetoad: 😉

stimpyismyname: ah

stimpyismyname: i meant fool for hanging up… but whatever

blowthetoad: you believed me again

blowthetoad: DOUBLE WHAMMY!!!

stimpyismyname: ok..

blowthetoad: i didnt even dial it

blowthetoad: madman did

stimpyismyname: good for you

stimpyismyname: pussy

blowthetoad: i am what i eat

blowthetoad: OOOOH

blowthetoad: I GOT YOU THURR DOGG!

 

#10960: Phoenix -> davepoobond

Phoenix: I’m pretty sure I should be shot.

davepoobond: why do you think that

Phoenix: Or at the very least burned alive

Phoenix: I’m becoming addicted to neopets again

davepoobond: or maybe you should dig your own grave

davepoobond: and then be executed

davepoobond: and buried in the grave you dug yourself

Phoenix: Then bury myself.

davepoobond: you’d be dead before that

Phoenix: sure I would.You don’t know me very well.

Phoenix signed off at 8:03 PM