Category Archives: Chat Logs

These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6451: amber -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

amber: papa dont preach i’m in love you see, papa don’t dont preach, i’m inlove with him, aadn i’ve made up my mind, i’m keeppin my baby ooo ooo i’m gonna keep my baby ooooooo

amber: daddy daddy if you could only see, see what he means to me, and i don’t mean maybe, i’m keeping my baby ooooooo

davepoobond: o ya

amber: lol

amber: i thought i’d sing a little kelly osbourne for ya

davepoobond: hot damn! my stanky words are on the internet!

davepoobond: nsdg blah hghjghj

davepoobond: sadfa

davepoobond: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggg

amber: what???

davepoobond: never mind

davepoobond:

amber: o ok

amber: whateva

davepoobond: ya

amber: no

davepoobond: no?

amber: no

davepoobond: yes

amber: no

amber: yes

davepoobond: sorry

davepoobond: nope

amber: too bad, i szaid yes

davepoobond: i said no tho

amber: too bad, i’m the baby, and i said yes

davepoobond: o ok >..>

davepoobond: but i said no

amber: so

davepoobond: so……..

davepoobond: that means no

amber: no, that means yes

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6448: Holmes -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

Note: at the time, davepoobond was computer shopping because the computer they had was literally a piece of shit. The specs mentioned weren’t the final components of the computer, but it was pretty close. Considering the shitfest davepoobond came from on that computer to using a new computer which was basically top of the line at the time (which also shows this IM’s age), is like heaven.

————————

Holmes: i

Holmes: hi*

davepoobond: hi

davepoobond: wats up

Holmes: ::holds back from laughing::

Holmes: the sky!

Holmes: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

Holmes: no

Holmes: nothing

davepoobond: same with me

davepoobond: the sky part that is

davepoobond: ahahahahahahahah

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: the computer we’re thinkin of gettin is gonna cost more than 3 grand

Holmes: wow

Holmes: what is it

davepoobond: dell

davepoobond: 120 gig hd

davepoobond: dvd rw, dvd r, cd rw, cd r burner

davepoobond: 17 in flat panel

davepoobond: thats a monitor

davepoobond: opitical mouse

Holmes: …

Holmes: holy….

davepoobond: 2.26 ghz

Holmes: ……..fuckin………..

Holmes: ……………………..shit

davepoobond: 56k modem!

Holmes: …awesome?

davepoobond: 64mb geforce 4

davepoobond: the 4600 not 4200

Holmes: god damn!

Holmes: you got a fuckin thuper computer!

davepoobond: win xp home edition w/ windows xp professional office

Holmes: SHIT!

davepoobond: zip drive

davepoobond: 512 mb of ram

davepoobond: they had 1 gig of ram as an option too

Holmes: why…..must…..you….torture…..me

davepoobond: hey hey. your computer is about 20 times better than this piece of crap

davepoobond: i had to live with this thing for 6 years

Holmes: wow

davepoobond: actually using it

Holmes: it’s an antique

davepoobond: i didnt use it all the other time

davepoobond: it was originally made in 85

Holmes: yholy shit

davepoobond: its a spectacle to see, because i can actually DO things on this computer still

Holmes: hey i had to use a computer that had less then 1 gb of memory, almost NO RAM!, 14.4 modem! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TRYING TO USE A 14.4 MODEM!

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: a disk had more memory then the frickin computer!

davepoobond: we had that computer

Holmes: 14.4 on AOL…-shuts out the memory-

davepoobond: there was one we had that had less than 500 mb hard drive space

davepoobond: no AOL though

davepoobond: no modem

davepoobond: and it had 8 mb of ram

davepoobond: slow as a big crap comin out of you

Holmes: nice metaphor

davepoobond: its was a .486 w/windows 95 in it!

Holmes: comes complete with mental pictures

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: o my crap

Holmes: seriosuly imagine connecting on AOL in REALLY slow motion…

davepoobond: yeah

Holmes: it took 4 minutes to get to “Checking Password”

davepoobond: you’d have like a 7.2k modem connection really

Holmes: then it froze

Holmes: and we never signed on

davepoobond: i have a 33.6k modem, i usually get 28.8 modem connection

davepoobond: when i have 31.2k modem connection, i cant surf the net

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: that sucks

davepoobond: eh oh well

davepoobond: its not really that bad

Holmes: hmm

Holmes: i have dsl and my bro loves aol so he’s paying for it and i get to use it

davepoobond: aint that great

Holmes: because if i don’t he won’t play playstation 2

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: and if he doesn’t play playstation 2 i can’t play his x box or game cube

davepoobond: ok there’s a lotta blackmailing in your house huh

Holmes: blackmailing is our last name…almost

Holmes: not really…

Holmes: sorta..

Holmes: ok it’s not

Holmes: but it starts with the same letter

Holmes: b

davepoobond: ok

Holmes: and we get mail

Holmes: so…

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: i’ll shut up now

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6444: collgehun18f100 -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

collgehun18f100: Hey, this is Sarah. . I’m 18/F one of your friends gave me your screename, but I gotta bounce right now. . I just wanted to make sure you got a chance to see me, check out my site and lemme know if you’re interested in hooking up :-* My page (and its all free too) 😉 But only if your 18 or older, I don’t want to get in trouble for doin anything for anyone underage 😉

davepoobond: well

davepoobond: you better feel bad

davepoobond: because i bet 999% of everyone that you IM, are underage

davepoobond: that’s more than 100%

davepoobond: in case you didnt know

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6442: Holmes -> davepoobond

Leave a comment

Note: this was before all these movies came out…this actual conversation took place around 2003/2004, so you can see a lot of these things came true or changed a little bit

————————————–

Holmes: sup

davepoobond: not much

davepoobond: they’re making a Home Alone 4

Holmes: …

Holmes: o…

davepoobond: and American Pie 3

Holmes: my….

Holmes: god

davepoobond: and a prequel to Dumb and Dumber

davepoobond: with steve THE DELL GUY

davepoobond: as jeff daniels

davepoobond: and i dont know whos jim carrery

davepoobond: carrey

Holmes: stop it! STOP IT! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS!

Holmes: THE HORROR

davepoobond: jim carrey sold out

davepoobond: “i dont wanna do any comedies anymore”

Holmes: ….

Holmes: thats bull shit

Holmes: he’s a natural comedian

davepoobond: i know

davepoobond: but no more he says

Holmes: so basically he quit acting

davepoobond: the majestic wasnt even a comedy

Holmes: because jim carrey is no action hero or drama person

davepoobond: and they’re making Spy Hunter as a movie, with vin diesel

Holmes: omg

davepoobond: oh wait

davepoobond: not vin diesel

davepoobond: the rock

Holmes: OH MY FUCKIN GOD

davepoobond: hehe

davepoobond: they’re both the same

davepoobond: i’m gonna give u a heart attack huh

Holmes: yes

davepoobond: and i also think they’re gonna make a sequel to Dude, Where’s my car?

davepoobond: but its not gonna have either of them i think

Holmes: ::can’t take it anymore and just dies::

davepoobond: its gonna be different people, and its gonna be “Dude, where’s my van?”

davepoobond: or something

Holmes: ::dies again::

Holmes: and terminator 3

Holmes: is coming out

davepoobond: yeah but everyone already knows about that

Holmes: Analyze That

Holmes: and Meet The Fockers

davepoobond: really?

Holmes: yes

Holmes: really

davepoobond: that’ll be funny

davepoobond: meet the fockers

Holmes: oh wait

Holmes: Title Note: (7/12/02) Even though Ben Stiller’s character in the first movie was credited with the last name of “Focker”, “Variety” announced today that the title is not “Meet the Fockers” as has been widely reported, but actually “Meet the Fokkers.” It sounds to me like Universal (or someone) was concerned that they couldn’t actually release a film that was just *one* letter away from the “F” word. Two letters, though, must be okay

Holmes: lmao

Holmes: thats hilarious

davepoobond: two letters must be ok

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: it HAS to be

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: have you seen XXX?

Holmes: no

Holmes: i’m not sure if i should or shouldn;t

davepoobond: i think they’re gonna make sequels to them

********************************************************************************************************************

********************************************************************************************************************

********************************************************************************************************************

********************************************************************************************************************

************************************************ou put it in the sun going straight up and down it makes a cool design

Holmes: i saqw lord of the rings

Holmes: lmao

davepoobond: that any good?

Holmes: yes

Holmes: it was

davepoobond: i still havent seen it

Holmes: ow my fuckin arm hurts…i came back from the doctor and he like shoved a needle into me

davepoobond: he pry thought you were a horse

Holmes: he asked “how was my summer” i was about to saw “fun” and he sohved it into my arm

davepoobond: haha he’s a funny guy

Holmes: he stabbed me! i’m suing

davepoobond: do you know how doctors check if a horse is pregnant or not

davepoobond: they shove their whole freaking arm into the horse’s ass

Holmes: ….

davepoobond: and then they take out the poo that is in there

Holmes: eww

davepoobond: and htey use a lot of lube

Holmes: i can emagine

davepoobond: and then after all the poo is out, they take this ultrasonic thingy that is about palm sized and jam it in there as well as their whole arm

davepoobond: aint that spectacular

Holmes: yes

davepoobond: i had a first hand account on monday

davepoobond: 3 times

Holmes: ……

Holmes: ewww

davepoobond: the first time was nasty, but after the other 2, it didnt look too bad

davepoobond: you’ve gotta have balls to stick your whole arm into a horse’s ass

Holmes: yes you do

Holmes: “hold er down….come ere lil horsey” *shove*

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: “ok…i feel somethin….it’s squishy….like jello…”

Holmes: “oh wait this is a male” “how do you know?” “cause i’m grabboin his balls from the inside!”

davepoobond: i was expecting to see his arm come out of the horse’s mouth or something

Holmes: heh

davepoobond: and his arm just kept going in, i was thinking “ok that’s far enough to do it, right?” wrong, it went in farther

Holmes: “oh my god! his ass is eating me alive!!!!”

davepoobond: usually, i think they do about 20 horses at a time

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6440: davepoobond -> amber

Leave a comment

davepoobond: whoo i got 1/2 pound of mike and ikes

amber: ok

amber: lol

davepoobond: heh

amber: where are you from again?

davepoobond: california

amber: i thought california people were cool

amber: j/k

davepoobond: heh. most are

amber: but, not you, right?

davepoobond: i guess not, since i’m eating 1/2 pound of mike and ikes

amber: lol

davepoobond: friendly question: do you eat cheesecake?

amber: yeah, why?

davepoobond: i dont know

amber: do you?

davepoobond: oh ya

amber: what kind?

davepoobond: strawberry

davepoobond: or just the regular kind

amber: cool, is cheesecake, really cake, or is it considered a pie?

davepoobond: i dont know. is it even cheese?

davepoobond: cake is in the name, so it has to be cake

amber: yeah

amber: cream cheese

amber: yeah, but it looks like pie

davepoobond: its no question that apple pie or cherry pie is a pie.

davepoobond: cheese pie is non-existent

amber: true

amber: lol

amber: yes it does exist, it’a a type of lasagna

davepoobond: thats ricotta

amber: ricotta, mozerella, and parmesean, and romano

amber: but it is considered a cheese pie

davepoobond: no its considered an italian pasta dish

davepoobond: cuz there’s meat in it

davepoobond: there’s no meat in pie unless it was a meat pie

davepoobond: or a chicken pot pie

amber: ahh, but vegetarian lasagna has no meat in it

davepoobond: otherwise, that’d just be nasty

davepoobond: but its still a dinner dish

amber: ok,

davepoobond: and its italian

davepoobond: italians dont make deserts

amber: do you hit girls?

davepoobond: they make italian ice

davepoobond: no

amber: do you hit guys who hit girls?

davepoobond: no cuz i dont know any guys that hit girls

amber: aghh my little sister is trying to stranggle me

amber: thats ood, but if you knew one that did would you hit him?

davepoobond: then hit her

amber: no she’s 4

davepoobond: probably not, cuz if he can hit a girl, then he’d probably wouldnt mind castrating me

amber: lol

amber: would you hit a guy who sexually harasses a girl?

amber: if he did it right in front of you?

davepoobond: yes i would then

amber:

amber: good choice

amber: does a girl have the right to beat the crap out of the guy that sexually harasses her?

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: but not according to the law if you get filed for assault

amber: who said it was me?

davepoobond: i was speaking in a 2nd person kind of way

amber: oh ok

amber: i gotta go

davepoobond: ok bye