These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs
In the trade chat channel in World of Warcraft, I was spouting:
“WTS [Fiery Warhorse’s Reins] mount RUN – 250g or best offer, pst! If it drops its yours! READ THIS BEFORE WHISPERING ME. DO NOT WANT TO BUY YOUR NERD RAGE”
–
Cantevennerf: NERD RAGE 50G MAN I SWEAR ITS TOP-TIER RAGE
davepoobond: SORTA WANT
davepoobond: AT FIRST I WAS LIKE D:
davepoobond: THEN I WAS LIKE D:
In the trade chat channel in World of Warcraft I was spouting:
“WTS [Fiery Warhorse’s Reins] mount RUN – 250g or best offer, pst! If it drops its yours! READ THIS BEFORE WHISPERING ME.”
–
Btk: anyone can solo the first boss in kara, your stupid
davepoobond: you’re stupider for complaining
Btk: problem?
davepoobond: x + y = z
davepoobond: solve for y
Btk: y= your mum x=my wood z= you
davepoobond: hello, how has your day been today
Btk: deal with it
The little guy gets screwed again…
Enron? K-Mart? Major companies are folding, Executives are ripping off the little guy.
Who can you trust? Yourself.
Did you hear the story of the guy who had a 1.5 million dollar 401K with Enron and it’s now worth ZERO! There’s no better time to think about having something to fall back on… a business of your own.
I’ve made millions of dollars on the Internet and I answer to no one. I have no boss and I can say “no” to whomever I wish (except my wife). If I don’t want to get up until 10 a.m. one day, I don’t. If I don’t want to work 5 days a week, I won’t.
No one runs my life except me and no one can ruin it.
It should be this way for everyone. And it can. You CAN do what I’ve done and find freedom through owning your own business. The only thing that is stopping you right now… is YOU!
I’ll even make it easy on you. I’ll guarantee that you can use my system and make $1,000 in 15 days or less! I’ve done it regularly for years now, and so can you!
FROM: HAJIA MARIAM ABACHA
A CRY FOR HELP.
Dear friend,
Following the sudden death of my husband, Late General Sanni Abacha, the former head of state of the federal republic of Nigeria in June 1998, I have been thrown into a state of utter confusion, frustration and hopelessness by the present civilian administration.
Security agents in Nigeria have subjected me to physical and psychological tortures. One of my sons is still under detention as well as arraigned before a Federal High Court of Nigeria for an offence he did not commit. As a widow, that is so traumatized, I have lost hope and confidence in anybody within the country.
You must have heard over the media and the Internet on the recovery of various huge sums of money deposited by my late husband in different security firms abroad. Some willingly gave up their secrets and disclosed our money confidently lodged with them and many
out-rightly declined lodgment. In fact the total sum discovered by the Government so far is to the tune of $700 million dollars. And the government has not relented in its efforts to completely bring my children and I back to square one. This is why I deemed it necessary to act fast by contacting anybody abroad for assistance. Furthermore, due to the security network placed on my daily activities I cannot afford to visit any embassy for a possible solution, hence I have decided to contact you and I do hope you will be the person God is going to use to rescue my family and I.
I have deposited the sum of $35 million dollars in a security firm abroad as whose name is with held for now for security reasons until we fully commence communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund on my behalf for safekeeping. Adequate arrangement has been made for receiving the fund. It is totally risk free. This arrangement is known to you, my brother (who is contacting you and I only. This means that my brother will deal directly with you as surveillance is on me. My brother’ name is audu.
You are entitled to 30% of the total sum. I hope to invest a proportion of the balance in your country.
Please forward your private Telephone and Fax numbers so that we can fully commence communication immediately. I will quite appreciate, if you accept my proposal in good faith. I look forward to receiving your urgent reply to my plea. Reply through my e-mail.
Yours truly,
Hajia Mariam Abacha
Hi there!
Have you ever shopped at a high-end department store where they have Personal Shoppers?
You give them all your details — your size, favorite colors, styles you like, etc. then you meet with them, and they present you with a whole bunch of choices, all tailored to your needs. No digging through the racks of clothing or searching the aisles for something you like.
Now, imagine leaning back in your chair and having a Personal Shopper do all of your Christmas shopping on the web — not a real person, however — an intelligent software program…wouldn’t that be cool?!
I just found a program that does just that! You tell your computer some things about your family and friends, like their interests and activities, then it searches through over one million major branded products and unique one-of-a-kind items to find the perfect present for each of them.
And… it’s FREE!”
It also reminds you of birthdays and important events. I checked some interest categories for my Dad, who is retired and it suggested over 40 gifts including some heated slippers, a waffle iron (he loves to cook), golf shoes, a casual coat, and leather wallet with room for pictures of the grandkids.
These were ALL great ideas!
I really love the idea pages, because they give you coupon codes for discounts and direct links to the items, plus a clever little desktop application that will display gift ideas for you. And I LOVE to shop with coupons!
I do about 90% of my holiday shopping online, and this has helped me a lot, especially with the hard-to-buy-for folks like my Hubby’s boss and his wife, lol! That one is always a stumper. I am not going to tell you what I got them though, because she is as much of an online shopper as I am, and may be reading this. 🙂
Remember, there is not much time left for Holiday Shopping, so you better GET BUSY! < grin >
If you are at home or at work and are using a top-of-the-line computer, you have roughly 42 million transistors that are maxed out at 100 billion operations per second. Not bad, heh? That should be all that one person needs, right?
Well, Intel is saying that they are going to be releasing a chip by 2007 that will have a billion transistors and will perform a trillion operations in one second!
Let me put this in perspective for you by saying that, according to an msnbc.com article, it would take 15,000 years for a person to flip a
light switch a trillion times.
We know by experience that if Intel is doing it, then other major companies will be right behind or just in front of that mark. The best part about this projection is that they are to consume the same amount of power as today’s processors.
The transistors are micro circuits that bring semiconductors to life, in this case they are going to be bringing a whole lot of life! So if you think your computer is fast now, just give the industry a couple of years.
The U.S. government wants to head off the future hacker attacks and viruses against its computers and decided to create a new “corporate Internet.”
This makes sense as the U.S. government is frequently the target of computer-based attacks. This corporate Internet will allow government workers to pass sensitive information back and forth with a greater sense of security. At least that’s the idea behind GovNet.
So Richard Clarke, special advisor to the President for cyberspace security, asked the U.S. General Services Administration (GSA) to issue a procedural “request for information” (RFI) from the telecommunications industry.
Last week, the time for the RFI passed and GSA received 167 responses. Now, 16 different government agencies will evaluate the submissions and, in February, will let the White House know its recommendations.
I am a 40 year old male. I take viagra. I can admit it. I think it is the best thing since sliced bread!!!
Why go through the embaressment of going to a Doctors office? Why hand the prescription to that cute little woman behind the order
counter? All the employees working there know why you are there.We can fill your prescription on line, quietly and confidentially.
And we will take care of everything. I promise you it WORKS!!! You will feel like a kid again!!!All you do is take it 30 minutes before the time you are planning an intimate moment with your partner, and then BAM, you are READY! You are more confident, self assured, relaxed.It takes no effort to maintain an erection. I love it, and you will too!
Hello davepoobond
The “aol.com” part of your email address is owned by someone else and is known as a Domain name. You will have davepoobond@aol as long as you subscribe and pay each month. You never really own your email address, someone else does. You just rent it.
Now, you have the opportunity to OWN your email address and Domain name, keep it forever!
Examples of what you can be bob@Smith.com, john@JonesFamily.com, pres@SmithInc.com, or whatever you choose.
This means you can have as many email accounts as you like for yourself, friends, employees, and family. You can even have a web site! (but you don’t have to)
Create a domain for yourself, family, company, home business or give it as a gift.
Click here to see if your name is available with no obligation.
There are so many good names available, but they’re going fast.
Dear,
Iím a korean living in seoul.(name: Oh Minseok)
Korean special investigative team are investigating samsung corporation.
But they do not work right.
Suspicious to be bought off.
samsung corporation has many crimes.
And the team investigates samsung corporation.
It contains korean companies samsung,huyndai,sk CEOsí illegal issuing stocks or bonds.
The quantity are plenty.
(Three company CEOs did(and are doing) many crimes to me.
Many koreans are knowing it.
But many koreans are bought off by illegal issuing stocks or bonds.)
The team are knowing it.
Korean special investigative team must investigate this.
But they are trying to conceal it.
I ask for asking for this criminal investigation to prosecutors in any country.
And help the shareholders and me.
P.S)
Three companies are hacking me and trying to kill me.
And are suspicious to use my name and email illegally.
If you receive another message that I dictated above are not true,
it is not from me, but from three companies.
The things I dictated above are true.
Y’know, sometimes we get stupid e-mail. And when I get stupid e-mail, I post it on my web site. This came through the mailing list that is shared by my job, and it’s really not supposed to have stupid shit like this sent through it.
–
Sent by: “Hector B.”
Date: Wed, Feb 2, 2011 at 8:15 PM
Subject: Amazing News!!!!
If you are currently looking for a better job, better paying, more satisfying job, look no further!!! lol. Or if you just want to make extra income from home??? Please feel free to contact me. There is a huge event going down this saturday morning feb 5th. Please let me know. Best wishes. Thanks for your time.
–
On Feb 9, I sent this back to him:
“Dude don’t send this crap to me”
–
“Hector B.” sends this back:
sorry man.
–
Fuck you Hector B. You are an amateur spammer and suck at it! Now time for a random lol: lol. As a result, someone else replied to his spam message with another spam for some asshole tutor:
–
Date: Feb 11, 2011
Subject: In need of a tutor?
Hi guys,
I just wanted to recommend a tutor to anyone in need of help in any of the subjects or standardized tests( LSAT, MCAT) listed on the attachment. This tutor has helped me excel in so many of my classes and I just wanted to share the love.
Thanks so much for your time!
–
Fuck youuuuuuuu!!!!
missa: Fuck
Ryan: Fuck what?
missa: sorry
Ryan: Ok. Whatever
missa: haha ryan sorry I was making fun of this guy
Ryan: Lol ok
Ryan: Hey
missa: Hey
Ryan: What’s up
missa: retard
Ryan: What?
missa: oh f* sorry I though its my friend Ryan
Ryan: Lol. Its ok 🙂
missa: ok hey I’ll just take shower I’ll ping you when I’m out
Ryan: So what’s up? In english this time lol
Ryan: Ok. Sounds good
Ryan: I decided to take a quick shower too. Hopefully it will help me sleep
missa: PING!!!
Ryan: Wheee
Ryan: Feel better?
missa: you haven’t slept yet?
missa: yeah
Ryan: That’s good that you feel better 🙂
Ryan: Lol no =(
missa: why can’t you sleep?
Ryan: Slept late this morning
missa: ahh and your surfing the net?
Ryan: Lol ya
Ryan: Its just no fun to lie in bed alone lol
missa: lol its not insomia
Ryan: What than is it?
missa: idk but I’m sure its not insomia
Ryan: Lol. Alright miss doctor 🙂
missa: its insomia when you lay in bed with lights off for hours and you still can’t sleep lol
Ryan: That’s what I did lol
Ryan: And when I do that I get super horny 🙁
missa: ahh how old are you?
Ryan: 19. You?
missa: 22. ahh you like to masturbate?
Ryan: Lol sure
Ryan: Why?
missa: by the time you’re 40 or 50 symptoms of prostate cancer will start to manifest
Ryan: Lol.
Ryan: And than my life is full of jizz?
missa: looks like you’re a loser.. Hot guys don’t really masturbate and don’t spend the whole night surfing the net..
Ryan: Lol. Thanks
missa: no prob
davepoobond: what do you call nuts on the wall
Backwards Hat Kid: you see it nig
davepoobond: what do you call nuts on the wall
Backwards Hat Kid: idk
davepoobond: walnuts
davepoobond: what do you call nuts on a chest
Backwards Hat Kid: dik in your mouth?
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: chestnuts
Backwards Hat Kid: wht?
davepoobond: chest nuts
davepoobond: what do you call nuts on your chin
Backwards Hat Kid: dick in your mouth
davepoobond: brazil nuts
Backwards Hat Kid: what hen
davepoobond: CAUSE BRAZIL SUCKS
Backwards Hat Kid: hahaha ur funny
davepoobond: and so does soccer
davepoobond: fuck soccer
Backwards Hat Kid: go find girl
Black Screen: Horny?
Black Screen: (:
davepoobond: very
Black Screen: Well I got pics. (:
davepoobond: show me some titties baby
davepoobond: oh yeah i like them
Black Screen: Show me that dick. (:
davepoobond: wow they look so good
davepoobond: did you know i dont have a neck
davepoobond: or a chin
Black Screen: Seriously?
davepoobond: yes
davepoobond: im deformed
Black Screen: Get up and show me!
davepoobond: i cant move
Yourmomzee: OMG LOOKOUT BEHIND YOU
Yourmomzee: HOLY FUCK
Yourmomzee: IN THE WINDOW
davepoobond: oh noooo my greeen walllsss
Yourmomzee: NO SHIT DUDE
davepoobond: oh noooooo
davepoobond: oh noooooooooooo
Yourmomzee: THERES A FUCKIN GUY
Yourmomzee: WITH A KNIFE
davepoobond: nooooooooooooooooooooooo
davepoobond: theres a guy
davepoobond: with a dildo
davepoobond: actually
Yourmomzee: WOAH
Yourmomzee: TMI DUDE
davepoobond: ;0
Yourmomzee: I DONT WANNA KNOW BOUT YOUR SEX LIFE
davepoobond: yes you do
Yourmomzee: OK YOU CAUGHT ME
davepoobond: i know you do
Yourmomzee: JUST LIKE THAT GUY BEHIND YOU
Yourmomzee: IS GONNA CATCH YOU
davepoobond: yeah
Yourmomzee: OH SHIT
Yourmomzee: FUUCK TURN AROUND
davepoobond: he’s under the covers right now
Yourmomzee: OMG
davepoobond: nekkid
Yourmomzee: DEAR LORD
Yourmomzee: HE’S WEARING GREEN PANTS
davepoobond: he’s like really big right
Yourmomzee: AND A CHECKERED SHIRT
davepoobond: he looks like a wall and everything
Yourmomzee: NO HE’S ON YOUR BED
davepoobond: and he has cuffs on his pants
davepoobond: that look like drawers
davepoobond: oh wait
davepoobond: you meant the guy i just killed in the bed
davepoobond: yeah thats right
davepoobond: i killed him
Yourmomzee: OMG CALL THE PO-LICE
davepoobond: poor lice?
Yourmomzee: AMBER LAMPS
davepoobond: i didnt know lice had a socioeconomical system
Yourmomzee: POLICE
Yourmomzee: PO PO
Yourmomzee: FIVE OH
davepoobond: sorry
davepoobond: i dont know what you mean
Yourmomzee: NICE GO TEEE
davepoobond: why thank you
Yourmomzee: /SARCASM
davepoobond: :((((((((((
davepoobond:
Yourmomzee: AW
Yourmomzee: =3
davepoobond: r u a girl
Yourmomzee: WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW
davepoobond: a hot girl?
Yourmomzee: IM THE FUCKIN GUY IN YOUR WINDOW
Yourmomzee: LOOKOUT
davepoobond: how do you type
davepoobond: with your mind?
Yourmomzee: FACEBOOK MOBILE
Yourmomzee: DUHHH
davepoobond: chatroulette has a conduit through facebook?
Yourmomzee: IT DOES NOW
davepoobond: wow
davepoobond: caps lock is cruise control for cool btw
Yourmomzee: YOU SURE ARE A QUICK ONE
davepoobond: i am
davepoobond: in bed
Yourmomzee: MY KEYBOARD IS BROKE
davepoobond: ohhhhhhh
davepoobond: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yourmomzee: SO I CANT TURN ON CAPS
Yourmomzee: LOCK
davepoobond: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yourmomzee: I MAKE THAT SOUND IN BED
davepoobond: but wh-y
Yourmomzee: WITH YOUR MOM
davepoobond: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yourmomzee: BURN
davepoobond: sick burnnnnnnnnnn
davepoobond: wow twins
davepoobond: stop copying me
Yourmomzee: YOU’RE COPYING ME BRO
davepoobond: no man
davepoobond: i thought it first
Yourmomzee: HAHA SEE I FUCKIN TOLD YOU
Yourmomzee: TURN AROUND
Yourmomzee: EVERY NOW N THEN I GET A LITTLE BIT CLOSER
davepoobond: it was just my dog
davepoobond: you wanna see her
Yourmomzee: DEPENDS WHAT DOG MEANS
Yourmomzee: HOT DOG? NO TY
Yourmomzee: SEEN ENOUGH
Yourmomzee: OH SHIT
Yourmomzee: WHATS HER NAME
Yourmomzee: WAIT
Yourmomzee: SALY
Yourmomzee: SALLY
davepoobond: Danny
Yourmomzee: I TOLD YOU LOOK BEHIND YOU THERES A KILLER DOG
davepoobond: killer dog with a knife
Yourmomzee: I HAD A HAMPSTER NAMED DANNY
Yourmomzee: WHEN I WAS IN 6TH GRADE
Yourmomzee: HE DIED
davepoobond: sorry to hear
davepoobond: i had a teacher named Mrs. Judy
Yourmomzee: YEAH ITS OK IT WAS AWHILE AGO
davepoobond: she died
Yourmomzee: AWW
Yourmomzee: RIP JUDY
davepoobond: and a teacher named Mrs. Clement
davepoobond: she was the walking dead
davepoobond: she taught science
Yourmomzee: SCIENCE RULES
davepoobond: but she shoulda taught history
davepoobond: CAUSE SHE’S THAT OLD
Yourmomzee: BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY
davepoobond: GET IT
Yourmomzee: OMG CAUSE SHE’S TAHT OLD RIGHT
davepoobond: OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD
Yourmomzee: I FUCKIN SAW THAT COMIN IAN
davepoobond: DUDE
davepoobond: WE’RE LIKE
davepoobond: TOTALLY ATTUNED TO ONE ANOTHER
Yourmomzee: SHIT DUDE YOURE ON MY LVL
davepoobond: YEAH, LVL 80
davepoobond: LOLOL
Yourmomzee: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
davepoobond: GET ITTTT
Yourmomzee: YOU PLAY WOW
davepoobond: YES
Yourmomzee: NO FUCKIN WAY
davepoobond: YES FUCKIN WAY
Yourmomzee: NOW YOURE EMBARRASSED
Yourmomzee: LOOK AT YOU
Yourmomzee: IM ON RIGHT NOW
davepoobond: WHAT SERVER
Yourmomzee: DUDE WATCH YOURE IN MY GUILD
davepoobond: probably
Yourmomzee: DARK IRON
davepoobond: fail
Yourmomzee: EPIC WIN
davepoobond: <- Ner’zhul
Yourmomzee: YOU MUST BE HORDE
davepoobond: ally
Yourmomzee: OK THANK GOD
davepoobond: yeah i hate horde too
Yourmomzee: CAUSE YOU DONT SEEM LIKE AN ASSHOLE JOHN
davepoobond: at least on my server
Yourmomzee: CAN I CALL YOU JOHN
davepoobond: sure
Yourmomzee: WHATS YOUR NAME
Yourmomzee: DANNY?
davepoobond: ill call you Antoine
davepoobond: Dave
Yourmomzee: OK JOHN
Yourmomzee: IM GOIGN FOR LOREMASTER RIGHT NOW
davepoobond: i did that like last year
Yourmomzee: HAHAHA FAIL
davepoobond: im working on the insane
Yourmomzee: DUDE
Yourmomzee: I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT TODAY
Yourmomzee: I HAVE A FRIEND WHO’S DOIN IT
davepoobond: what a nub!
Yourmomzee: ITS FUCKIN INSANE
davepoobond: save your pristine black diamonds
Yourmomzee: OH SHIT YOURE SERIOUS
Yourmomzee: YOU KNOW YOUR SHIT
davepoobond: thats just a tip
Yourmomzee: I DONT HAVE ANY
Yourmomzee: THATS NOT THE HARD PART DAVE
davepoobond: well then i guess you cant save any???
Yourmomzee: ITS THE DARKMOON REP
davepoobond: you think thats the hard part?
davepoobond: thats just a money sink
Yourmomzee: I HAVE 791G
davepoobond: if you’re totally inept at making money, yeah i guess itd be hard
davepoobond: i have like 100k
Yourmomzee: DUDE IS THAT ALL YOU DO
Yourmomzee: IS CHATROULETTE AND WOW
davepoobond: yeah pretty much
Yourmomzee: DAMN
davepoobond: life is cool
Yourmomzee: ME TO
Yourmomzee: YOU SHOULD SEND ME SOME G
Yourmomzee: I MEAN YOU DONT NEED 100KI
davepoobond: and i fuck around with my web site
Yourmomzee: DAVEISKEWL.COM
davepoobond: ya
Yourmomzee: I LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE
davepoobond: great to know it
Yourmomzee: PS
Yourmomzee: LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU DAVE
Yourmomzee: OMFG
Yourmomzee: WHAT WAS THAT SERVER
davepoobond: ner’zhul
Yourmomzee: WHATS YOUR NAME
davepoobond: US
davepoobond: Zierkka
Yourmomzee: IMA MAKE A CHAR
davepoobond: sounds good bro
Yourmomzee: XFER TO DARK IRON BRO
Yourmomzee: WE’RE THE SHIT
Yourmomzee: HAVE YOU DOWNED THE LK
davepoobond: yes
davepoobond: i’m in a icc25 hard mode group
davepoobond: guild
davepoobond: everything but H-LK down so far
Yourmomzee: OH FUCK DUDE
Yourmomzee: YOUR REALM POP. IS HIGH
Yourmomzee: IM WORKIN ON 10 MAN LK
davepoobond: normal?
Yourmomzee: MY GUILDS BEEN WIPING FOR WEEKS IT SUCKS
Yourmomzee: YES
Yourmomzee: NORMAL
davepoobond: dude ill totally get on
davepoobond: and you can see my gear
davepoobond: go to IF
Yourmomzee: k i made a dwarf pally
Yourmomzee: haha this is hilarious