Category Archives: Squackle Broadcasting Company

TV/movie/commercial scripts.

Squackle Broadcasting Company, TV Shows

SBC News Broadcast 1

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Now for the top stories……David: Ok be quiet out there…

 

Audience still talking

 

David: I SAID SHUT YOUR TRAPS!

 

Audience shuts up

 

David: (ahem) 1. George W. Bush was caught cheating with Al Gore

 

Producer: Thats not true!

 

David: …2. George W Bush couldn’t tell a horses poop from Daveed’s brain…come to think of it, niether can I…

 

Daveed: You buttmunch, go screw a shrew!

 

Davis: No he’s my shrew, and you can’t have him!

 

Daveed and David look at Davis oddly

 

Davis (nervously): Uhh…nevermind…hehe…….

 

Shrew noises are coming from Davis’s room

 

David: …uh huh…anyways…also on our top news, a crazy man has been spotted running around this city naked screaming “Penis rhymes with Penis” while he waves a polish flag around and points a a big pimple on his left butt cheek…

 

Daveed: Hey that sounds like your wife david!

 

Daveed laughs while David slaps him, knocking him out

 

Davis: Now THATS a Bitch sla…

 

David slaps Davis, knocking him out right ontop of Daveed. David puts them both on the table and puts Davis’s hand in Daveeds pants and makes it look like he’s smiling.

 

Producer: Thats sick, someone get a censor out here?

 

Mr. Whatshisname: In Egypt, putting your hand down a guys pants means: “Lets eat dinner together”

 

Just then, Daveed wakes up and looks at Davis.

 

Daveed whispering to the knocked out Davis: Not now! Wait till AFTER the show! How many times do I have to tell you that!

 

Daveed gets up and sits in his seat, just then a naked guy screaming penis rhymes with penis, waving a polish flag and pointing to a pimple on his ass runs in the studio.

 

Naked Man: PENIS RHYMES WITH PENIS!

 

David: Someone get him outta here!

 

Naked Man: PEEEEEENNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS

 

Security guy Holmes tackles the naked man, popping the pimple on his butt

 

Naked Man: OW that hurt!

 

Holmes: get outta here! and take your polish flag with you

 

Naked Man: i just wanted to play, the pimple made me INSANE

 

the naked man jumps infront of the knocked out davis while he wakes up. Davis see’s the naked mans ass and screams.

 

Davis: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

Davis jumps back and sits in his seat, closing his eyes

 

Producer: I’ll never see again…

 

Mr. Whatshisname: I’m from Egypt

 

Producer: I ALREADY KNOW THAT

 

Mr. Whatshisname: he has a big ding dong…

 

Naked Man: sweeeddddish penis enlarger! SWEEDISH SWEEDISH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Holmes kicks the naked man in the ass so hard that the slam bolts him through the roof.

 

Davis: that was cool!

 

Producer: get on with the show you guys before i fire your sorry butts

 

David: O.o big bad producer!

 

Davis: You suck

 

Daveed: I hate my life

 

Mr. Whathisname: I’m from egypt

 

Producer is about to explode with rage. Just then the naked man comes back through the studio roof and hits the ground with a thud.

 

Holmes: I thought i told you to BEAT IT!

 

Naked Man: in public?

 

At first holmes doesn’t understand but when the producer tells what “beat it in public” means, holmes face turns an angry red.

 

Holmes: YOU SICK LITTLE BIATCH YOU GET YOUR NAKED BALD ASS OUT OF MY STUDIO BEFORE I CHOP YOUR PENIS OFF AND SHOW YOU HOW IT RHYMES WITH ASS WHOOPIN!

 

The naked man jolts out crying.

 

David: Thats our news for today, see you…

 

Just then, jeeb bush (brother of George W) runs in.

 

Jeeb Bush: Has anyonre seen my brother? Last time I saw him he was taking his clothes off with a polish flag in his hand…

 

David, Daveed, Holmes, Davis, and the Producer walk over to Jeeb and beat him up.

 

(end)

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Commercials

Squackle! Shop

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The camera is aimed at a street corner and suddenly a guy dressed in a buisness suit walks by the camera and the camera follows him along with an announcer who is off screen.

 

Announcer: “Hello sir!”

 

The guy turns around.

 

Guy: “uh….hey….whats the camera for?”

 

Announcer: “What camera?”

 

Guy: “The camera right infront of you.”

 

A fist flys from off screen and punches the guy…

 

Guy: “OW! WHAT THE HELL?”

 

Announcer: (in a whisper voice) “Your not suppose to look at the camera…”

 

Guy: “oh…..ok?!?

 

Announcer: “Now….ahem…your not exactly dressed to impress are you?”

 

Guy: “Whats that suppose to mean?”

 

Announcer: “Well….to be frank….your clothes are butt ugly…infact I’ll rip them off right now.”

 

Some hands from off screen grab on the guys suit and rip is clothes off.

 

Guy: “THAT WAS IMPORTED FROM ITALY AND COSTED 2000 DOLLARS!”

 

Announcer: “You are sooo materialistic…..now go to the Squackle shop and buy some clothes…the internet address is http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/store.aspx?s=squackle . I repeat the internet address is http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/store.aspx?s=squackle . Did I already say http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/store.aspx?s=squackle ? I don’t think I did. The internet address is http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/store.aspx?s=squackle . Go there now…Bye.”

 

Guy: “YOUR PAYIN FOR MY VERSACHI ITALIAN SUIT!”

 

Announcer: “Pfft yeah right…”

 

The announcer and camera guy walk off….suddenly the guy jumps on to the announcer and they start fighting. The camera guy takes the camera and bashes it over the guys head which ends the scene.

 

(end)

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Films

Billy Gets a Job!

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(note: this is VERY stupid, but i dont give a crap…)

Manager Man: hello Mr. Boast, would you please sit down?

Billy: why, i would love too!

Mangager Man: um…ok….

(billy sits down on a chair closest to the door, but farthest from Mangager Man)

Mangager Man: So..you applied to our toy store, to make new ideas for toys?

Billy: yes, i did. i have many….ideas, for new toys

Mangager Man: Hmm, that’s good. What school did you go to for high school?

Billy: I went to a school in Washington

Mangager Man: Why are you looking for a job in New York then?

Billy: I just came here to work for your fine toy store!

Mangager Man: Oh, ok…what ideas do you have for new toys?

Billy: Well, there could be a Post-apocoliptyc type of doll living in a Bomb Shelter, and the ceiling would come off and the doll would enjoy all the modern lifestyles of home: canned food, fold up chairs, fold up tables, and on the outside can be a bunch of craters and crap strewn around the backyard too.

Manager Man: ok, you’re hired!

Billy: yay!

Manager Man: you start in 5 minutes, the sweat shop is upstairs, past the guards

Billy (getting up): thank you!

(end)

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Commercials

Poop E. Pizza

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A kid is sitting on his bed in his room staring at the wall. His room is a mess and he looks extremely bored….

 

Kid: “Gosh I’m bored! I’ve already jerked off 12 times in a row, now theres nothing to do.”

 

The mom is heard offscreen.

 

Mom: “CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKEN ROOM!”

 

Kid: “SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’LL CLEAN UP MY ROOM IF YOU BRING ME TO SOME PLACE GOOD.”

 

Mom: “HELL NO! IF YOU CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM I’LL BRING YOU TO A PLACE THATS CHEAP AND CRAPPY.”

 

Suddenly a talking large piece of shit appears in the kids room.

 

Poop: “A-HYUCK! HI THERE!”

 

Kid: “WHAT THE FUCK?”

 

Poop: “Here i’ll help ya clean up your room so we can go to Poop E. Pizza!”

 

Kid: “…..uh ok…whatever.”

 

They run through the room really fast cleaning everything up.

 

Poop: “A-HYUCK! NOW LETS GO TO POOP E. PIZZA!”

 

Suddenly there in Poop E. Pizza and a whole bunch of kids are running around. But they all are sad because the place smells really bad. Also the place is an underground child labor workshop.

 

Kid: “THIS PLACE SMELLS LIKE SHIT!”

 

Poop: “A-HYUCK! Of course it does! NOW GET TO WORK!”

 

The piece of shit ties the kid up to a carriage and starts whippin him.

 

Poop: “YOUR ALL DOGS! WORK HARDER!”

 

Mom: “Wow….I’m so glad I brought my child to Poop E. Pizza!”

 

Poop: “A-HYUCK!”

 

The piece of shit throws pizza topped with shit at allthe kids and all the kids are crying while there getting whipped.

 

(end)

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Films

A KKK Story

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i made this thing for a skit that we were doing in school about this subject. of course, all the juicy parts were cut out and made into a 30 sec piece in a skit that really fuckin sucked because it was cut

–

Characters:

mother

daughter

KKK guy

KKK guy 2

KKK guy 3

KKK guy 4

(the mom is just standing in the middle of the room staring at a wall)

(daughter comes in yelling)

daughter (yelling): mommy, mommy! i’m home from school!

mother: yay!!!!!!!!!!!!

(the mother and daughter run around the room 2 times)

mother: what did you learn today in school, daughter?!?!?!!?!?!

daughter: we learned about a time period called Reconstruction, which took place after the Civil War!

mother: oh, that’s nice!!!

daughter: YEAH!!

(daughter and mother run around the room again)

mother: whee!!!

daughter: mommy, what is the KKK?

(mother gasps and grabs daughter by the shoulders and pins her to the wall)

mother: never speak those 3 letters in this house again!

daughter: but it was only 1 letter 3 times!

mother: glah glah glah! the KKK is a very bad thing! they beat people down just because of their race, because after the Civil War, they opposed Reconstruction! They joined the Democratic party! Do you see what i mean???

daughter: yeah!

(outside, 4 KKK guys are parading on the sidewalk cheering the same thing over and over)

KKK guy: boo!

KKK guy 2: Bill Clinton forever!

KKK guy 3: whee!!

KKK guy 4: down with Reconstruction!

(inside)

mother: oh nooo!!!! they’ve come!

daughter (yelling at KKK guys): wasn’t Reconstruction over a hundred years ago?

KKK guy 4: ….OOPS! uh…BEAT HER DOWN, NOW!!!!!!!

KKK guys: gggggggglllllllllllaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

(KKK guys run at daughter and daughter falls)

mother: nooo!! leave my daughter alone!

KKK guy 2: NO! we like kicking people in the head until they bleed! she hasn’t started bleeding yet, so we can’t stop!

KKK guy: this is fun!

KKK guy 3: whee!!! KICK! KICK! KICK!

(daughter screams)

daughter: ouch! stop it you meanies!

KKK guy (thinking for a few seconds): hmm…no

mother: aggghhhh!! help! help!

(mother runs around the room a couple times)

KKK guy: hey! this is getting boring, lets go to a 7 11 and beat some Pepsis and cream sodas out of guys over there!!!

KKK guys: YEAH!!!!

(KKK guys run out)

mother (going over to daughter): do you see now? They beat people up for no reason!

daughter: oh…i didn’t understand that until i got beaten…

mother: YAY! you’ve learned!

(mother and daughter run around the room screaming and laughing)

(end)

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Commercials

Aguafina

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Aguafina Man: hello. Aquafina sucks. You should buy our water instead. Aquafina doesn’t tell you what’s in their drinks. Our water is made of 100% spit. Yes that’s right. Spit. Spit is nutritious. Spit is sterile, and why not just have a bottle of our spit everyday? I’m sure you’ve had enough of the taste of your spit, am I right?

 

(Aguafina Man walks to an Aguafina and an Aquafina)

 

Aguafina Man: believe it or not, they’re made of the same thing. So why buy from those untrustworthy bastards, that promise you nothing, when you can buy from us, an honest, customer loving company that doesn’t sleep in the blood of virgins every night to stay young forever? You decide.

 

(end)

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Films

Generation Gap

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I found this.

—————-

(Dad is watching TV in the living room while smoking a cigarette)

 

Johnny: Oh my god dad, what are you doing?  Don’t smoke cigarettes in the house, it smells.  I don’t appreciate it when you are always smoking in the house.  I don’t wanna die of 2nd hand smoke.

 

Dad: Shut up.  I am the ruler of the house.  Don’t argue with what I do or say, I am the LAW.

 

Johnny: Stop joking around dad.  (Pops out a cigarette) Fine then, you can do it, then so can I.

 

Dad: Ey, what the hell is going on?  When did you start smoking?

 

Johnny:  A long time ago dad.  I just never knew how to tell you and now is the perfect chance cuz you’re smoking and I can just smoke with you.

 

Mom: Oh god, Johnny started smoking?  Honey, aren’t you going to do something?

 

Dad: Sure honey.  (Gives Johnny a light)  There you go son.  Now that you’re starting to mature, I can tell you about all those little things that i never told you about before.

 

Grandma: Jim, don’t let Johnny smoke, its very unhealthy.  Back in my times when they didn’t really know that smoking was that bad for you health, it was alright.  Now they know that it leads to lung cancer and all these other diseases.  So educate your son.

 

Dad: As long as he doesn’t do drugs, its alright.  Smoking isn’t that bad.  As long as he isn’t smoking that opium stuff or anything else.

 

Johnny: What about weed, dad?  Weed isn’t a drug, is it?  It’s a plant that comes from the ground and you smoke it, and it makes you feel good.

 

Dad: Back in the 70’s, Weed was alright to smoke, partially cuz we had to smoke it in the Vietnam War.  The THC level in marijuana these days has increased by almost 50 times since then.  You shouldn’t smoke it, but if I told you not to smoke, I’d be a hippocrit.

 

Johnny:  Thanks for being so honest dad.

 

Dad:  I wish all parents were as honest as me.  Then they could communicate with their children better.  I just hope that we have a really good relationship.

 

Grandma: I remember that my husband used to smoke weed when he went to war and then he came back that he told me that it was everywhere and all the other soldiers smoked it, so then you had to smoke it with them.

 

Dad: May his soul rest in peace.

 

Mom: Could we please not talk about father?  He reminds me of a sad time within our life when there was no happiness.

 

Dad: Sure, honey.  Let’s all stop talking about it.  Who wants to have the daily family discussion?

 

Mom: So, what kind of music does everybody enjoy listening to?  I’ve heard those new tunes these days and that rap music really disturbs me.

 

Johnny: Why don’t you like it mother, it’s a hip beat and you go with the flow.

 

Mom: All that profanity and vulgar language disturbs me. They always talk about Weed here, sex here, and some more sex there, violence, killing, and I mean, come on now, what kind of music is that?

 

Johnny: Better than that disco crap that dad used to listen to.  You and your afros and afro picks, I mean come on.  With those, sorry to say, but gay looking clothes, I mean flares on girls these days is alright, but come on.  Flares on guys, you looked really gay.

 

Dad: Are you dissing my heritage, dude?  That’s not cool.

 

Johnny: Stop trying to be funny dad.  Don’t try to talk like us, when you aren’t one of us.

 

Dad: That’s it.  I’m sick of this nonsense.  You’re grounded, you’re staying home until you graduate high school and turn 18 then you can get out of my house, but until then, you are gonna have to stay in your room all day.  GO study and do some homework and don’t get on that phone again.

 

Johnny:  This is bullshit.  This sucks.

 

Mom: Listen to your father honey, before he gets more angry.

 

Grandma: You’re just overreacting son.  Don’t worry Johnny, just go up to your room and I’ll bring you some pie and some pizza, ok?

 

Johnny: Thanks grandma, I love you…

 

Grandma: Me Too Johnny.

 

(end)

Commercials, Squackle Broadcasting Company

Radioactive Carpet

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The Video Professor: Hello, The Video Professor back again from the hospital

 

(The Video Professor waves a bandaged hand)

 

The Video Professor: last time, I was burned silly on the front side of my body with Radiator Carpet. Amazingly, we have sold, to date 13 Radio Carpets and 15 Radiator Carpets. But now, Smart Carpets has a new product that is sure to fly off the shelves! It’s the Radioactive Carpet!

 

(The Video Professor leans against a wall)

 

The Video Professor: have you ever wanted to create your own mutated animals, objects, or even mutate yourself for better or worse? No more not being able to! The Radioactive Carpet takes care of all of that! Just simply rub on this package of Nuclear waste we found in New Jersey, and voila!

 

(The Video Professor pours on some nuclear waste on the carpet and his arms burn off)

 

The Video Professor: uh oh….um….your results may vary. Only $50 for the carpet and $1300 for a 8 oz. can of nuclear waste!

 

(end)

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Films

A Bum and His Beer Bottle

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Setting:  A street suggests a curb.  A bum is sitting on it.  whee.  I am a horse.

Boy:  Hey mister bum!

Bum:  ::farts::  Hi kid  ::burp!::

Boy:  You sure are fucked up.  I bet you could use some money.

Bum:  Mraph!

Boy:  I’ve got 300 dollars!  I’m gonna get some can-dah!

Bum:  Get me some.

Boy:  What?

Bum:  I want some of the candy you get.

Boy:  That’s not what you said.

Bum:  Get me some.

Boy:  I said – that’s not what you said

Bum:  Mraph!!

Boy:  What the hell was that?!

Bum:  Go away

Boy:  It’s a free country!  AH HA HA HA!!!

(Bum throws a broken beer bottle at the boy’s crotch)

Boy:  OW!  #$#*$%@#*!!!  YOU GET NO CANDY!!!

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Commercials

Radiator Carpet

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The Video Professor: Hello! I’m The Video Professor with another product from Smart Carpets. Its called Radiator Carpet!

 

(The Video Professor lies down on the carpet in front of him)

 

The Video Professor: do you just happen to be cold-blooded or feel like being a lizard or a spider for no apparent whatsoever in you life? Look no further than the plug-inable Radiator Carpet!

 

(The Video Professor rolls around)

 

The Video Professor: IT works like a VCR in the sense that you don’t know how to program it, and it can plug into an outlet! But there are some drawbacks…

 

(The Video Professor gets 3rd degree burns all over his body)

 

The Video Professor: We have yet to come out with a model that you can actually control! Only $1500, at your local Smart Carpeteers! AHHHHH! THE BURNING!!!

 

(end)

Squackle Broadcasting Company, TV Shows

What to Do On a Boring Day Episode 2

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Mr. Notyou Bill’s Dad

Mrs. Notyou Bill’s Mom

Bill Notyou Bill’s uhm well Bill

Lily Notyou Bill’s sister

Iam Ob Sessed Bill’s Best Friend

Job Workalot Bill’s Other Best Friend

Shou Ter Bill’s Other Other Best Friend

Bill: Another boring day kinda like yesterday

Mr. Notyou: I DIDNT HIT LILY LEAVE ME ALONE

Mrs. Notyou: GET BACK HERE…AHHH NO CANDY FOR YOU TONIGHT

Lily: Dady hit me (cries)

Bill: Man whats wrong with this family

Mrs. Notyou: Oh Bill leave this house…there is to many headless donkeys running around these days

Bill: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……OOOK?!?!, well ill go to Iam’s house

He walks to the sewers to look for platypuses

Bill: What was I gonna do again, oh yeah Iam’s house

He walks to Iam’s house and knocks on the door, just then a crazy headless donkey runs across the street

Bill: Man i must be going crazy

Iam’s Mom opens the door and tells Iam to come out and play with his friend

Iam: Say uhh i got a new pet

Bill: what

Iam: a … HEADLESS DONKEY

Bill: …

Just then a Donkey with a head falls from no where onto a wandering platypus

Bill: I think the writer of this story is running out of ideas

Iam: No hes just tired cause its late

Bill: i feel like screaming

Iam: okokokok

Bill: but i wont cause i love platypuses

Iam: …

Bill: Lets not go to Shou’s house

Just then another donkey falls from the sky onto a wandering Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Meltaway Bar

Bill and Iam: …

Imposter Shou: Hey guys i dont know how im talking to you cause im in another country but hey

Bill: hey hes not shouting

Iam: he must be an imposter

Just then a huge man falls into the streets snoring

Bill: That must be the guy making this story

Iam: Whats his name

Bill: He said he will never tell and no one does

Iam: I think this is a sign that we should go home to bed cause hes tired

Bill: Ok

Just then something happened but i forgot what it was so bye

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Commercials

Radio Carpet

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The Video Professor: Hello. I am the Video Professor. Since I am piss poor because I was practically giving away my CDs to help people learn how to use their computers, I’ve decided tow work for Smart Carpets, the best wholesale carpet makers ever. Today, I’m here to show you their latest product. The Radio Carpet

 

(The Video Professor sits on a chair in front of a carpet)

 

The Video Professor: It works just like a VCR, except it’s a radio and has nothing to do with a VCR. It actually blows up all VCRs in a 10 centimeter radius if you’re not careful! I’ll show you how it works.

 

(The Video Professor leans toward the carpet)

 

The Video Professor (screaming): I want to listen to Backstreet Boys!

 

Radio Carpet: You’re gay. Here’s some N*Sync for the day!

 

(N*Sync music starts playing)

 

The Video Professor: This is a happenin’ beat!

 

(The Video Professor smiles)

 

Radio Carpet: Hey, this got flare, how above some music from a guy named Dave!

 

(Dave Mathews Band starts playing)

 

The Video Professor: The whole carpet is mixed in with millions of mini-speakers and mini-microphones. Every time it changes music it makes a rhyme, too!

 

Radio Carpet: That’s right, Pro, how about some Cro-ws?

 

(Crows start to squawk from the carpet)

 

The Video Professor: Well, there are some drawbacks…you can’t walk on the carpet because of the speakers and microphones and sometimes it picks something bad!

 

Radio Carpet: I’m hungry, how about some music from Hungary?!

 

(The Video Professor looks at the camera with a weird face)

 

The Video Professor: Only $36000! Would you please buy it? Please?

 

(end)

Squackle Broadcasting Company, TV Shows

What to Do On a Boring Day Episode 1

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Characters:

Mr. Notyou Bill’s Dad

Mrs. Notyou Bill’s Mom

Bill Notyou Bill’s uhh Bill

Lily Notyou Bill’s Sister

Job Workalot Bill’s Best Friend

Iam Ob Sessed Bill’s Other Best Friend

Shou Ter Bill’s Other Other Best Friend

Mrs. Notyou: EAT YOUR FOOD NOW

Mr. Notyou: But…(sniffle)…i don’ want to

Bill: Just eat the food so we can be dismissed from dinner dad

Mr. Notyou: Why do I have to live in such a mean family (he runs out the room crying)

Bill: Can we be dismissed now

Mrs. Notyou: Oh alright

Bill walks to his friends house

Bill: Man, i’m sooooo bored

He knocks on the door of his friend Job

Job’s Mom opens the door: NO I DONT WANT THE VACUUM CLEANE….oh hi Bill come on in and eat my dog…

Bill: …uhh thats ok is Job around

Job: BILL…bye mom i’ll be back in a couple o hours

Job’s Mom: Just don’t talk to strangers and don’t eat any stray dogs

Job: Uhm…ok

Bill: Is your mom….ok?

Job: Well we have been having problems with vacuum cleaners…

Bill: What kind of problems

Job: Ya know like when your dad buys a platypus and your sister eats a cat while its playing with a cat nip toy

Bill: …..ok?

Job: Well i’m bored lets go do some non-boring stuff

Bill: like what

Job: ….uhh how about…lets go get Iam

Bill: Iam Ob Sessed…ok

Job: With what

Bill: Huh?

Job: your obsessed with what

Bill: uhh..riiiiiiiight

They walk to Iam’s house and knock on the door

Iam opens the door and lots of platypuses run out yelping

Bill: Whats with the platypuses

Iam: I like’em

Bill and Job: …

Iam: Hey …

Bill: what

Iam: Huh what u want…oh yeah huh im confused and I hope all of you out there in 3-D land are too

Job: Who are you talking to

Iam: I dunno

Bill: So………

Job: Whats we wanna do

Iam: Lets go to a movie

Bill: Alright

They walk to the theatre and look at the boards showing the movies up

Iam: Alright Return Of The Mister. Platypus Man Thing is on

Bill: Hey lets see I Don’t Know You Cause You Don’t Know me

Job: no lets see…(ba ba baaa)…This Movie Is Rated R

Bill and Iam: OH MY NOT…(ba ba baaa)…This Movie Is Rated R

Job: Well lets see what its rated

Bill and Iam: Are you that stupid

Job: I dunno

Bill: Well i’ll watch it if you guys come with me

Iam and Job: Okay

They walk to the counter where the lady sits and gives tickets for money

Lady That Sits And Gives Tickets For Money: How my I help you

Bill: We wanna see…(ba ba baaa)…This Movie Is rated R

Lady That Sits And Gives Tickets For Money: That would be $354.99

Bill, Iam, and Job: Ok

Bill: Man these movies get cheaper and cheaper everyday

They walk in and buy some pop corn then they find there seats

They started watching the movie…it wasnt really bad at all but there was a nude seen…and right when the nude seen came the movie turned off because a stray platypus brokes the camera thingie upstairs that makes the movie go

All of the sudden the whole crowd sings “The Wheeles On The Bus Go Round And Round”

Bill: Whats wrong with everyone

Iam: I dunno lets get out of here, come on Job…OH NOOO

Job: The wheels on the bus go roooound and roooound

Bill: Snap out of it man (he starts slapping him)

Job: Huh oh no…did i sing…

Bill: Yes

Job: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(this continues for….8 minutes and 32 seconds so please say NO to yourself for 8 minutes and 32 seconds)

8 minutes and 32 seconds later

Bill: lets go

Job: RIGHT

Iam: yes please

Bill: I know lets go get Shou

They walk to Shou’s house and knock on the garbage made door made from garbage that smells like garbage cause its made out of garbage

Mrs. Ter: OH HELLO BOYS WONT YOU COME IN

Bill: thats ok we just want Shou

Mrs. Ter: SHOU COME HERE YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE

Shou: OK MOM I WILL BE THERE IN A MINUTE MADE UP OF 60 SECONDS

Bill: ya know maybe we shouldn’t have come here

Shou walks up to them and starts yelling in their ears

Shou: HEY GUYS

Just then somethin happened in a distant state

Do you wanna know what happened?

Yes (Click One) No

what? you say your mouse doesnt work so you cant click … well just scroll down … theres 2 diffrent endings…yes ending…and no ending….

– YES ENDING

What happened is that there was a platypus and it burped

– NO ENDING

Bill: Did you just hear a platypus burp?

THE END

Squackle Broadcasting Company, Commercials

Regurgitated Dehydrated Instant Soup

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(Man barfs into a cup)

 

Man: we just dehydrate it, and sell it to you. Its that simple. Never the same taste, and almost nutritious! We have 300 healthy and not so healthy workers working day and night!

 

(the camera gets a view of an assembly line of people barfing into cups. Some have green faces)

(end)

TV Shows, Squackle Broadcasting Company

uhh…Sport…No…Weather…No…Ah who cares Episode 5

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Dude with finding new peoples cause everyone else is dead

Dude: Hello and welcome…tongiht I will find 2 new peoples to help with me…one for sports…one for weather

First guest walks in

Dude: Whats your name

Man: Uhh…

Dude: WHATS YOUR NAME

Man: Uhh…

Dude: TELL ME YOUR NAME

Man: ITS UHH

Dude: oh

Uhh: I like weather

Dude: your in, now sit your butt down back there…NEXT

Man walks in and sits down

Dude: Whats your name

Man: Tomfoolery

Dude: You like sports?

Tomfoolery: Yes

Dude: Your in…well i would like to have another person around for video game review so NEXT

Man walks in and sits down

Dude: Whats your name

Man: Maker Of This Story

Dude: OH HI SIR

Maker Of This Story: I like video games let me in

Dude: RIGHT AWAY SIR

Maker Of This Story: Quit yelling

Dude: sorry…hey can we call you somethin elese

Maker Of This Story: Call me Vid

Dude: Why Vid

Vid: Well i’m doing video games right

Dude: ok ok…well….Now to the news…for top story we have 3 new people, Vid, Uhh, and Tomfoolery…now with sports

Tomfoolery: Well…uhh…i don watch sports

Vid: Neither do I and I make this story and i hate sports so no more sports

Tomfoolery: then ill do…uhh…anime stuff

Dude: ok…so on to weather

Uhh: Man i’m out here in Alaska and boy its hot…ITS (*#$&$^%*# degrees

Dude: well we aren’t in Alaska and (*#$&$^%*# isnt a degree

Uhh: Oh

Vid: Listen i dont do weather either so Uhh your fired

Uhh: darn

Dude: hey you cant do that

Vid: Remember what i did with Sweaty and you

Dude: what did i say you cant do that i meant you can do whatever you want

Vid: So now its me you and Tomfoolery

Dude: well lets do video games now

Vid: Well recently I got an Ultima game called the Ultima Collection, it has 10 games on 1 CD…theres a thing called ultima akalebeth and then ultima 1 – 8…they all suck except for 6,7,7 part 2,and 8…so get that game…another thing is Starcraft…the only thing is is that its a great game…heard of Warcraft well thats what starcraft is except it has to do wit space…thats for PC…PSX is FF8…FF7 is better dont get FF8…just rent it and beat it…thats all…N64, well altogether N64 sucks but Jet Force Gemini (the longest game in the world) is ok but gets boring so dont buy it just rent it and try to beat it. Now to tommy fool boy

Tomfoolery: Well biggest news is that Gundam Wings got a gay pair…that hideo guy and duo thats all

Dude: ya know what…this sux peoples dont wanna hear news…so lets jus go to our everyday life…na how about….YEAH A TALK SHOW…so from now on I will actully IM real peoples and ask them questions and stuff…so until next show lata

(end)