Q: What kind of coat can only be put on when wet?
A: A coat of paint.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #24860
Q: It is weightless, but it can be seen. Put it in a bucket, and the bucket will be lighter. What is it?
A: A hole.
Joke #24859
Q: What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?
A: A river.
Joke #24858
Q: A woman gave birth to two sons who were born in the same hour of the same day of the same year, but they were not twins. How is this possible?
A: They were two of triplets.
Joke #24857
A man entered an ice cream shop and asked, “What flavors of ice cream do you have?”
“Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry,” the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her throat, and seemed unable to continue.
“Do you have laryngitis?” the man asked sympathetically.
“No,” the girl whispered. “Just vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry.”
Quote #24810
“No photos due to many unnecessary messages from creepers.
Creepers are those who send the same message more the once and ask irrelevant dumb questions.”
– from a girl’s dating profile.
Bad Submission #24796
Submitted through the Quicky Joke submission form.
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This form was submitted: Oct 19 2008 / 06:21:18
name = eff
email = eef
use_email = yes
qjoke = ewgg
Hate Mail #24794
Submitted using one of the random email add-ons I was trying on the WordPress site.
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Blog Submission: checkzorz
Your Name: fat nig
Your Email Address: lol@spam.com
Title of Submission: checkzorz
Submission: read below
Comments: dave, your a fag! post that on your website homo!
WoW Chat #24788
In Trade Chat…
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Moneypennie: ** Miss Moneypenny’s Summer’s End Sale! Save Big on all transmog, profession recipes, pets and more… 50-75% off normal prices… thousands of items to choose from … this weekend only. **
davepoobond: summer is just beginning
Moneypennie: ** Miss Moneypenny’s Summer Clearance Sale! Save Big on all transmog, profession recipes, pets and more… 50-75% off normal prices… thousands of items to choose from … this weekend only. **
Moneypennie: better? for you southies
davepoobond: summer clearances only happen at the end of winter
Moneypennie: why can i not please you?!
davepoobond: you’re not using enough tongue
Moneypennie: ick! ew! gross!
davepoobond: …in-cheek!!!
WoW Chat #24787: Moneypennie -> davepoobond
In Trade Chat…
Passthat: Slash cry is selling full clear heroic HFC with all loot reserved for your specific class/spec. Every saturday @ 9pm Eastern Msg me for more info! Takes about 2 hours
Moneypennie: Pay money to lose self-respect by buying achievements? No thanks.
davepoobond: I loose my self respect
(a couple people laugh)
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Later…
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Moneypennie: i don’t understand your comment?
Moneypennie: spelling issue? grammar issue?
davepoobond: im making fun of you by making a typo
Moneypennie: i don’t understand how that’s making fun of me… you made the error, not me
davepoobond: cause “lose” and “loose” are the usual error
Moneypennie: lose is the verb to lose, loose is to be loose
Moneypennie: r u serious?
davepoobond: i understand. i added an extra o to make fun of you
Moneypennie: that’s what i don’t understand?!
Moneypennie: you’re usually pretty cool and funny
Moneypennie: you should make fun of people who need to buy their achievements in a game
Moneypennie: and those that cater to those looooosers
Moneypennie: enough o’s for ya?
davepoobond: im just trying to explain the joke man
davepoobond: no need for the personal insults
Moneypennie: what personal insult?!!?
Moneypennie: and it wasn’t a joke
Moneypennie: i’m going to need to rethink my opinion of you after this interaction
davepoobond: who am i? who are you?
davepoobond: this is the first time im seeing your name and you come on my property and insult me
Moneypennie: my alt was in your guild for a while
Moneypennie: and i’m a known AH entity for years, lol
davepoobond: where is the sense of entitlement
davepoobond: i dont buy, i sell
Moneypennie: dude, scroll up, what’s your problem?
davepoobond: im a seller. im a great business man
Moneypennie: i never attacked or insulted you
davepoobond: we dont win anymore
davepoobond: our leaders are stupid, they have all the smart ones
davepoobond: im going to make great deals
Moneypennie: i’ll see you around
davepoobond: im a free trader, but im a FAIR trader
salbasgeon
salbasgeon – n. an employee who does a job no one wants to do, but is then sacrificed by the corporate overlords who decide they don’t actually need someone doing a job no one wants to do, despite actually needing someone to do that job.
reootleuvid
reootleuvid – n. a warehouse full of unorganized files in random boxes in random places. The individual cabinets are alphabetized but the cabinets themselves are scattered around in random places
quisimossa
quisimossa – n. all of the effects of being drunk (vomiting, cramps, nausea, punching holes in walls, being in a fetal position on the floor, etc) brought on by eating moldy cheese
muertov
muertov – n. cheese in the refrigerator that is orange. Except it was originally white.
upquiseup
upquiseup – v. to use a chair against a wall as if it was a urinal