#23321: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series The Case of the Stolen Backpack

davepoobond: whaaoooooooo!!!

stimpyismyname: ..wha?

davepoobond: whoaaaaaaoooooahha!

stimpyismyname: get your backpack or somethin

davepoobond: no

stimpyismyname: 😎

stimpyismyname:

stimpyismyname: i like beans in a sexual way

ZolaOnAOL: You are not the only one.

stimpyismyname: HAHAHAHA

stimpyismyname: ROFL

stimpyismyname: OMG

stimpyismyname: THAT WAS SOOO FUNNY!!!

davepoobond: =-O

davepoobond: the n-gage looks shitty

 

#23320: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

davepoobond: i have 4 classes tomorrow that we watch a movie in

stimpyismyname: woot

stimpyismyname: roxor

davepoobond: isn’t that weeeeeeeeird

stimpyismyname: woot

stimpyismyname: haxortheinternet.com

davepoobond: ahh?

davepoobond: what is it

davepoobond: that’s not a real site..

stimpyismyname: so what

stimpyismyname: whatcha gonna do about it

stimpyismyname: bitch

 

#23319: davepoobond -> Automatic Man

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series The Case of the Stolen Backpack

During High School…

davepoobond: my backpack got jacked

davepoobond: during lunch

Automatic Man: LOL

davepoobond: when i was buying my lunch, i bet some kid thought it was his

davepoobond: but there wasn’t any extra backpacks out there

davepoobond: my cell phone, calculator, binder full of all the papers for the year so far, my english binder, and my english notebook are all gone

Automatic Man: that sux

davepoobond: i’m pretty much screwed on the next sociology test

Automatic Man: ya

davepoobond: and the next time my english teacher collects the notebooks

davepoobond: and my squackle notebook was in there too

davepoobond: its vucking gay

Automatic Man: ya

Automatic Man: ull get it back prlly

davepoobond: i dont know though

davepoobond: there wasn’t an extra backpack anywhere

davepoobond: that doesn’t really make sense does it

Automatic Man: the world doesnt

davepoobond: why would someone come back pick up their backpack and keep mine

davepoobond: unless they wanted to keep my shit

davepoobond: for some stupid reason

Automatic Man: ill give it back to you tomorrow

Automatic Man: 😛

davepoobond: did you seriously take it

davepoobond: i dont think you did

Automatic Man: no, i didn’t. and it sux that it was taken.

davepoobond: i had a lot of pens and markers too

davepoobond: and white out

davepoobond: and lead

Automatic Man: ya

davepoobond: scissors. my favorite scissors

davepoobond: my favorite calculator

Automatic Man: lol

davepoobond: my glasses case

Automatic Man: u had a fav.?>

davepoobond: yeah i have a favorite everything

davepoobond: i prefer the scientific calculator i had to a graphing calculator

Automatic Man: lo

 

#23318: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: :-):-P;-):-(:-P;-):-)>:o

stimpyismyname: =-O:-P:-(:-P:-(;-):-P;-):-(

stimpyismyname: =-O:-P:-(:-*:-(=-O:-P

stimpyismyname: ;-):-(>:o:-P=-O

davepoobond: wow

stimpyismyname:
:-):-(;-):-P
:-(;-):-P:-)
;-):-P:-):-(
:-P:-):-(;-)

stimpyismyname: theres a lot of courses for film at bu

davepoobond: whats bu

stimpyismyname: boston university

davepoobond: yeah i’m sure to get in there

stimpyismyname: dont care

 

Formal Pirate Clothing – Commercial

Cast:

Bob American is the Captain (aka manager).
Joey McCurken is the First Mate (aka assistant manager).
Brandon Spaz is a pirate that shops at Formal Pirate Clothing.

BOB AMERICAN
Hello, how are you today, Mr. Pirate?  Welcome to the Formal Pirate Clothing store!

CUSTOMER
Jusssst great!  Arr!!

BOB AMERICAN
Can I help you find something?

CUSTOMER
I’d like to buy some clothes, but I just don’t know what wear, arr!!

BOB AMERICAN
What kind of look are you looking for?

CUSTOMER
I’m looking for a formal-looking suit, for work.

 BOB AMERICAN
You’re in luck, we have a special on suits today.
We have many combinations that will suit what you need.

CUSTOMER
Hey, that’s great, arr!

BOB AMERICAN
We have a black suit, that is a black jacket, black pants,
and a blue shirt with a blue tie.

CUSTOMER
Hmm.. that’s not really what I’m looking for… arr!

BOB AMERICAN
We have some black shoes that would look great with the suit you “arrrr!” buying.

CUSTOMER
Good, I’ll take those, too.  How about a pirate hat to go with it, arr?

BOB AMERICAN
Well, the only one that would go with your suit is this woman’s gardening hat…75% off!

CUSTOMER
That’s perfect, arr!

BOB AMERICAN
Come up to the counter, and I’ll have my assistant manager process the sale for you.

In the back, the security cameras just show Bob American talking to air.  The Customer is a ghost!!!

CUSTOMER
Do you take Pirate Express?  Arr!

BOB AMERICAN
Didn’t they go out of business 100 years ago?

CUSTOMER
Nonsense!  I just got it in the mail yesterday!

BOB AMERICAN
What is this mail you speak of?  Pirates do not have addresses.

JOEY MCCURKEN
Yarr!  It be a ghost, Cap’n!!  He has a damned locket around his neck!

CUSTOMER
Oh, this?  I got it from my dear departed aunt—

Just then, Bob American runs the Customer through with a saber.  Customer keels over with the sword sticking out of his chest as he bleeds across the counter and onto the register.

BOB AMERICAN
Oh.  He wasn’t a ghost, after all.

JOEY MCCURKEN
Oh.  I keep forgetting that the security system still shoots in interlace,
but ever since we got that new progressive flat screen, everyone looks like a ghost on it!

BOB AMERICAN
Joey, you just lost us a sale.  And I may very well go away for a long time when
the mall property manager gets a load of the water damage to the floor.

JOE MCCURKEN
The planet Earth moves through curved space.

BOB AMERICAN
Ah, yes, how can I forget.

End.

 

What do you do if you see a robbery where you work?

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