#23318: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: :-):-P;-):-(:-P;-):-)>:o

stimpyismyname: =-O:-P:-(:-P:-(;-):-P;-):-(

stimpyismyname: =-O:-P:-(:-*:-(=-O:-P

stimpyismyname: ;-):-(>:o:-P=-O

davepoobond: wow

stimpyismyname:
:-):-(;-):-P
:-(;-):-P:-)
;-):-P:-):-(
:-P:-):-(;-)

stimpyismyname: theres a lot of courses for film at bu

davepoobond: whats bu

stimpyismyname: boston university

davepoobond: yeah i’m sure to get in there

stimpyismyname: dont care

 

Formal Pirate Clothing – Commercial

Cast:

Bob American is the Captain (aka manager).
Joey McCurken is the First Mate (aka assistant manager).
Brandon Spaz is a pirate that shops at Formal Pirate Clothing.

BOB AMERICAN
Hello, how are you today, Mr. Pirate?  Welcome to the Formal Pirate Clothing store!

CUSTOMER
Jusssst great!  Arr!!

BOB AMERICAN
Can I help you find something?

CUSTOMER
I’d like to buy some clothes, but I just don’t know what wear, arr!!

BOB AMERICAN
What kind of look are you looking for?

CUSTOMER
I’m looking for a formal-looking suit, for work.

 BOB AMERICAN
You’re in luck, we have a special on suits today.
We have many combinations that will suit what you need.

CUSTOMER
Hey, that’s great, arr!

BOB AMERICAN
We have a black suit, that is a black jacket, black pants,
and a blue shirt with a blue tie.

CUSTOMER
Hmm.. that’s not really what I’m looking for… arr!

BOB AMERICAN
We have some black shoes that would look great with the suit you “arrrr!” buying.

CUSTOMER
Good, I’ll take those, too.  How about a pirate hat to go with it, arr?

BOB AMERICAN
Well, the only one that would go with your suit is this woman’s gardening hat…75% off!

CUSTOMER
That’s perfect, arr!

BOB AMERICAN
Come up to the counter, and I’ll have my assistant manager process the sale for you.

In the back, the security cameras just show Bob American talking to air.  The Customer is a ghost!!!

CUSTOMER
Do you take Pirate Express?  Arr!

BOB AMERICAN
Didn’t they go out of business 100 years ago?

CUSTOMER
Nonsense!  I just got it in the mail yesterday!

BOB AMERICAN
What is this mail you speak of?  Pirates do not have addresses.

JOEY MCCURKEN
Yarr!  It be a ghost, Cap’n!!  He has a damned locket around his neck!

CUSTOMER
Oh, this?  I got it from my dear departed aunt—

Just then, Bob American runs the Customer through with a saber.  Customer keels over with the sword sticking out of his chest as he bleeds across the counter and onto the register.

BOB AMERICAN
Oh.  He wasn’t a ghost, after all.

JOEY MCCURKEN
Oh.  I keep forgetting that the security system still shoots in interlace,
but ever since we got that new progressive flat screen, everyone looks like a ghost on it!

BOB AMERICAN
Joey, you just lost us a sale.  And I may very well go away for a long time when
the mall property manager gets a load of the water damage to the floor.

JOE MCCURKEN
The planet Earth moves through curved space.

BOB AMERICAN
Ah, yes, how can I forget.

End.

 

What do you do if you see a robbery where you work?

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#23308: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

davepoobond: what can you use it for

stimpyismyname: stuff

davepoobond: that’s alwasy good

stimpyismyname: alwasy

stimpyismyname: you big fagget

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: alwasy

davepoobond: it means “stimpyismyname is a faggot”

davepoobond: and the continuation

davepoobond: always

davepoobond: which means “stimpyismyname is a faggot cause he spells faggot with an e instead of an o”

stimpyismyname: yeah shut up

stimpyismyname: i can

stimpyismyname: if i want it to sound like that

stimpyismyname: it was bostonian

davepoobond: like what?

davepoobond: fajet?

davepoobond: fajeet

stimpyismyname: right…

 

#23307: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

davepoobond: occanse – n. hot bubbly mouth watering cheese

stimpyismyname: your cheese is bubbling in my mouth

stimpyismyname: say that in french

davepoobond: that’s not a very good thing

davepoobond: for you

stimpyismyname: great

stimpyismyname: dont care

stimpyismyname: shaddap

davepoobond: yes you do

davepoobond: i know you do

stimpyismyname: 😉

 

#23303: davepoobond -> Soup Nazi

davepoobond: 7_0

Soup Nazi: Anime face

Soup Nazi: fucker

davepoobond: =)

davepoobond: that was actually in a url

Soup Nazi: this is the best face ever

davepoobond: it looked like a face

Soup Nazi: get ready, it’s pretty awsome

davepoobond: U_U

Soup Nazi: >:|

Soup Nazi: This should be a recognized AOL smile >:| because it’s awsome

Soup Nazi is away at 11:31 AM

 

#23300: davepoobond -> NHL770

davepoobond: I’ll suck your dick

NHL770: asl

davepoobond: 56/f23/hawaii

NHL770: Hi, my name is dave

davepoobond: how about that!

NHL770: sorry im straight

davepoobond: my name is dave too!

davepoobond: i am too

Previous message was not received by NHL770 because of error: User NHL770 is not available.

 

#23299: davepoobond -> SexiLilFreek096

davepoobond: WAIT A SECOND

davepoobond: DID YOU JUST SAY YOU WERE OUT OF SCHOOL

SexiLilFreek096: ok

davepoobond: IN THE CHAT ROOM

SexiLilFreek096: ya y ?

davepoobond: cause

davepoobond: umm

davepoobond: hi

SexiLilFreek096: well hi

davepoobond: well hi!

davepoobond: hi hi hi

SexiLilFreek096: hi hi hi

SexiLilFreek096: ssry

davepoobond: sore

SexiLilFreek096: so were do u live

davepoobond: in my own world

davepoobond: called hell

davepoobond: i’m Satan, didn’t you know?

SexiLilFreek096: well if ur on the comp who’s watchin ova hell

davepoobond: hold on

SexiLilFreek096: ok

davepoobond: i think its Bob Hope’s shift right now

SexiLilFreek096: lol

SexiLilFreek096: r u outa skool

davepoobond: uhh yeah…i’ve been outta “skool” since i fell from Heaven

davepoobond: i got really bad grades

davepoobond: so i fell out of it

SexiLilFreek096: sure

SexiLilFreek096: im out till january 5th

davepoobond: yay

davepoobond: i’m out for eternity

davepoobond: y’know, being Satan and all

davepoobond: God doesn’t really want me back

SexiLilFreek096: o ya i c how it is

davepoobond: its a real bitch

SexiLilFreek096: well if ur satin u maust a’ got bad bad grades cause u cant spell ur own name

davepoobond: uhh

davepoobond: do you know what “satin” is?

davepoobond: “satin” is a type of textile

davepoobond: people WEAR satin

SexiLilFreek096: ya i no that

davepoobond: oh ok. glad we’re on the same page

SexiLilFreek096: ok

davepoobond: gonna go torture some more souls

davepoobond: see ya later

davepoobond: by the way, go to www.squackle.com its got lots of stuff made by me (Satan). its an orgrasm

SexiLilFreek096: ight ur on my bl is that kool

davepoobond: sure ok

SexiLilFreek096: bye ttyl

 

#23298: chewy17171717 -> davepoobond

chewy17171717: hahhah i like your profile it matches mine

davepoobond: reallllly

chewy17171717: ya

chewy17171717: isn’t that so cool

chewy17171717: r u from china

davepoobond: definitely

chewy17171717: ?

davepoobond: oh yes i’m chinese

chewy17171717: what part

davepoobond: the place they speak mandarin

chewy17171717: hahah me too

chewy17171717: what part

davepoobond: coool

davepoobond: the place where they sell the fish frying in deep oil

chewy17171717: so what r u doin tonight

davepoobond: i’m going to jack off

davepoobond: what about you

chewy17171717: hey i have a kid in a room

davepoobond: a room?

davepoobond: what do you do with this kid in a room

chewy17171717: no my kid

chewy17171717: i um take care of it

chewy17171717: u perv its my kid

davepoobond: really?

chewy17171717: ok anyway

davepoobond: wait a seconddd

chewy17171717: actually i live in hong konk

chewy17171717: kong

davepoobond: your profile says you’re 14 and you go to catholic school

davepoobond: how can you have a kid

chewy17171717: i did like 3 weeks ago

chewy17171717: i need somone else to help me out

chewy17171717: like a father

davepoobond: and you think you’ll find one online

davepoobond: i getchya

chewy17171717: will u

chewy17171717: no im jk

chewy17171717: her name is Laurel

chewy17171717: i hate catholic skewls

chewy17171717: its so devestating

davepoobond: actually, i wouldn’t mind being your husband

chewy17171717: is your name dave

davepoobond: i’m 42, and have a decent job

davepoobond: yes i am

chewy17171717: really

chewy17171717: ooo u arn’t the pervert in the 17 magazine

chewy17171717: r u

davepoobond: no. i think he’s my cousin though

davepoobond: i’m a subscriber to it

davepoobond: i get every issue

chewy17171717: really have u read the recent one

davepoobond: i usually jack off to it everyday at 7:36 PM

davepoobond: no i haven’t

chewy17171717: what r the magazines about

davepoobond: i was going to open it at 7:33:23 to look through it

davepoobond: i dont know, i dont read the articles

davepoobond: there’s just stupid topics about stupid kids

davepoobond: i dont like them, i just fuck them

davepoobond: oops did i just say that

davepoobond: oh well

chewy17171717: hey im one those kids

chewy17171717: oo would u like to fuck me

davepoobond: well then, there goes by parole

davepoobond: sure

chewy17171717: your 42 and a redneck

chewy17171717: great

chewy17171717: what i always wanted

davepoobond: who says i’m a redneck?

chewy17171717: my name is Brigid

chewy17171717: i do

chewy17171717: sob

davepoobond: your profile says you’re julie

chewy17171717: jk

chewy17171717: hahah

chewy17171717: my bitch is fuckin me

davepoobond: oh no

chewy17171717: thats my friends name im spendin

chewy17171717: hahah jk

chewy17171717: so u must be one of those perverts arnt u

davepoobond: sure

chewy17171717: u guys r the ppl who did this to me

davepoobond: sowwy

chewy17171717: stop talken to me

davepoobond: i thought you wanted to fuck

davepoobond: you fuck

chewy17171717: um no

chewy17171717: excuse me but my daughter is to young

chewy17171717: u should no better

chewy17171717: u young kids should be thinking about skewl not girls

davepoobond: how old is she

chewy17171717: 9

davepoobond: so you had a baby when you were 5

chewy17171717: i think u would know better than that

chewy17171717: no this is the mother of the girl u just talked to

chewy17171717: so i said good day

Just then I get warned “anonymously.”

davepoobond: and then what did i say

Previous message was not received by chewy17171717 because of error: User chewy17171717 is not available.

 

#23297: davepoobond -> xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux

davepoobond: wow

davepoobond: you’re pretty wild

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: shutup

davepoobond: so harsh

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: what

davepoobond: what you

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: why am i harsh

davepoobond: you told me to shut up

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: shutup

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: fag

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: buh bye

davepoobond: you’ve got some balls to call me a fag

davepoobond: you fag

davepoobond: are you excited about “World Idol”?

She warns me to 35%, and I warn her to 35%.