All posts by A Squackler

A Squackler is a generic person who has submitted content to Squackle. They basically are not worthy of having their own name made in the blog system because they basically only submitted a small amount of content.

Joke #5326

There is an American and a Russian arguing about what country was better.

The Russian says, “We were the first to launch a satellite into space.”

The American laughed in his face and said, “that’s nothing, we were the first to land on the moon.”

A Canadian blonde, over hearing the conversation, walks up and says, “That’s nothing, we are gonna be the first to land on the sun.”

The American and Russian looked at each other and said “Are you mad?  You’ll die.”

The blonde responds, “Shows how much you know. We’re going at night.”

Joke #5323

Three blonde dudes were walking through the woods when they got to a river.

Looking for a way to cross it, one dude found a magic lamp then a genie came out of it and said he would grant each dude one wish.

The first dude said “I wanna get accross this river.”  So the genie granted him the power to swim and he swam to the other side.

Then the second dude said “I wanna get accross this river without getting my hair wet.” So the genie gave him a raft and he rode the raft to the other side.

Then the third dude said “I wanna get accross this river without getting my hair wet or touching the raft.” Then the genie was getting annoyed, so he turned him into a brunette woman then she simply walked across the bridge that was next to them the whole time.

Joke #5321

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They entered a bar and when the waitress came over they ordered some drinks.

A few minutes later they went to the bathroom and there was a woman sitting outside. The woman said “Beware of our new attraction, the mirror. If you tell the truth you will be rewarded with riches, but if you lie, you will be sucked into the mirror forever.”

So the redhead walks into the bathroom and up to the mirror and says “I think I am the most beautiful of us three.” She found herself holding the keys to a new really nice car.

Then the brunette goes to the mirror and says “I think I am the most talented of us three.”

Then the blonde goes up to the mirror and says “I think…” and was immedietly sucked into the mirror.

Joke #5320

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go out hunting. The brunette goes out and comes back with a deer.

“How did you do that?” asks the blonde and the redhead.

The brunette replies “I followed its tracks.”

The redhead goes out and also comes back with a deer.

“How did you do that?” the blonde and the brunette ask.

“I followed its tracks” the redhead says.

The blonde goes and and follows the tracks… and gets hit by a train!

Joke #5319

A blonde goes to a hairdresser to get a hair cut. She sits down in the chair with her walkman on and the earphones in her ears.

The hairdresser says “I’m sorry, Miss, but I’ll have to take out those earphones so I can cut your hair.”  The blonde replies “you can’t, I need them to live.”

The hairdresser starts cutting her hair with her earphones still on.  Then the hairdresser says again “Im sorry, Miss but I really need to take out those earphones so I can cut your hair.”

She gets the same answer and continues cutting. for the last and final time she asks “Miss, I really need to take out those earphones to cut your hair” “no,” says the blonde “I need it to live” ignoring her answer the hairdresser yanks teh earphones out and the blonde falls dead.

“Weird,” thinks the hairdresser. she puts the earphones in her ears and plays the cd that plays “breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out”

Joke #5317

There was a brunette mother who had two teenage blonde daughters.  She asked them if they could paint the house while she went shopping.

They both agreed, and right before the mother left the house, she asked them not to get their clothes dirty. So then she took off, and the two blondes obeyed their mother by taking off their clothes so they wouldn’t get them dirty.

Then when they were about halfway done, they heard a knock on the door, so without opening the door, they asked who it was, and the person on the other side answered “the blind man.”  So the two blondes thought, ok, he’s blind, he cant see anything…so they opened the door and the blind man said, “nice tits, ladies, but where do you want the blinds?”