Jimiscokfick Mycomnisory Arm Pit Hair Straightner

(a guy is walking by the TV screen when the announcer guy comes on)

 

Announcer: hey you!

 

Guy: who me?

 

Announcer: yes you, do you have unprotected sex?

 

Guy: what the fuck???

 

Announcer: why don’t you try the new Jimiscokfick Mycomnisory arm pit hair straightner? It will straighten your armpit hair in no time flat!

 

Guy: who the fuck wants that?

 

Announcer: .5% of the world does! Don’t you want to be part of that .5%?

 

Guy: …

 

Announcer: It;’s also proven to cause cancer and HIV and instant death, but WHO CARES? you’ll die with straight armpit hair!

 

Guy: umm..i gotta go, bye…

 

The Announcer takes out a taser and tasers the guy until he falls down.

 

Announcer: see? the Jimiscokfick Mycomnisory arm pit hair straightner could have prevented that!

 

The guy is twitching on the ground.

 

Announcer: buy it now…before i kill you…seriously…

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