Marge: “Homey, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?”

Homer: “Of course not, Marge, just for the rest of HIS life.  He said I was an accident.  He didn’t want to have me.”

Marge: “You didn’t want to have Bart.”

Homer: “I know, but you’re never supposed to TELL the child!”

Marge: “You tell Bart all the time!  You told him this morning.”

Homer: “But when I do it, it’s cute!”

– from The Simpsons